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Praying - things we should know -

Publié le par Charly Cross

Everyone makes mistakes, even me with my blog, and the things I post here. You can read about one such mistake here, if you're curious.

It's not my place to judge people, but I think that if we want G-D to give us something, we must pray the right way, and to try avoid making some mistakes.

Several years ago I decided I should be more spiritual, to pray more, be kinder, less negative. I took a notebook and wrote in it some guidelines for "how to pray." Surely I found this guide somewhere on the internet, but for the love of what's good, I can't remember.

This entry is an adaptation of that info - simply because I didn't agree with everything in there, and I also think some other stuff should be added.

Matthew 6:7-8 New International Version (NIV)

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Prayer is a highly personal experience

For me this is true, as you could probably tell from this blog entryEveryone whose prayers have been answered will probably tell you the same thing. This is not something that can be explained.

What I can say is that the prayer is a tool helping us to attune and communicate with G-D - or whatever other Higher Being or Creator you believe in.

not my picture

not my picture

 Don't pray just in time of need

I find this to be wrong, though it can be effective if you pour all your soul into it. I think that if you want to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life, trying to pray on a more regular basis is [or works] better.

You can compare this to a person whose teeth look perfect - surely they visit their dentist quite often, brushes and flosses their teeth twice each day.

Be thankful while praying

Forgetting to thank G-D for everything positive in our lives is something many are guilty of. Including those that pray on a regular basis.

What can you be thankful for? The clothes on your body, the house you live in, the neighborhood you live in [if you like it there and feel safe], the food on your table, your job [especially if the income is acceptable], for having people that care about you in your life, for being able to have pets [if you have them], and so on.

These were just examples and are the things I'm generally thankful for while praying. Every little thing does matter and you should be thankful for, including your health, looks [if you consider yourself pretty, or you particularly like something about yourself like your eyes or hair], talents [like cooking, baking, drawing, fashion style, applying make-up].

Some of these attributes sound vain to be thankful for, but I can guarantee there is at least one person out there that wishes they had what you have - material or not. You can walk, talk, see, read, sing? Be thankful for all of those since there are folks that can't perform these actions.

What to pray for

You can pray for everything or anything, including for world peace. For better and higher chances of the prayer to be answered, just ask for small things and one thing at a time.

For instance, you lost your job [or were forced to quit?] when praying, thank your Divinity for all the jobs you had in the past and ask Them to help you find another suitable one quickly.

We can even ask for help in becoming mentally stronger, better people [less negative, less critical of others], in finding a new hobby, a new partner, in overcoming problems that seem very complicated, or even forgiveness.

We can pray for forgiveness for ourselves or for others. Maybe you lied to someone and now you feel bad, but still don't have the courage to confess to them? Ask G-D for forgiveness, but try not to lie anymore in the future. If someone did something hurtful towards you, you probably can't let go of those negative emotions so easily. Ask the Divine to help you with that, and ask the Divine to forgive that person's mistakes.  [I did this and it felt liberating.]

not my quote not my picture

not my quote not my picture

 Acknowledge you're wrong or sinful

This segment goes against Christian teachings of confessing and stuff. We all do things we're very ashamed of later on [what? it's just me? hmmm]. Sometimes those actions feel too heavy, and we're too embarrassed to confess them to a priest [if that's part of your belief system].

Telling G-D during a prayer about those things can be liberating. Not many people know what you did, but G-D DOES know. The Divinity knows everything about you. Admitting that doing this or that was wrong and asking for forgiveness can help. [It did help me, I felt less tormented].

When and where to pray

You can pray at any time, in any place. It is however better to find a quiet time and place to do so. For instance, you could pray while showering or taking a bath, right before falling asleep, when everyone else is asleep or away.

The most important thing to try and remember is that you should not be disturbed. You should silent your phone too, if you receive too many texts, calls and notifications.  You don't have to be in a church [or similar type of building] to pray. You don't even need a picture of your Deity around you.

Faith is crucial

No mater who you pray to or what for, you must be certain 100% that They hear you and that They will answer. It's not enough to say "Oh, my god's name is this, and they DO exist... blahblahblah." No! You must feel with every cell of your body that that Creator exists and that They love you and will send you what you ask for.

When you start communicating with Them, you have to be aware of Their presence in and around you: you wouldn't be here without Them, and you wouldn't have everything you own without Them.

May God look over From His Holy Dwelling and may he strike all those who hate His People with a wink of an eye

Behold here is the Lord rising and standing on a plumb-line Giving them a cup of poison but not wine

Pronunciation:

Yash'kef Elohim mima'on kod'sho veyach kol sonei amo keheref ayin

Hineh Hashem kam venitzav al anach yash'kem lechos ra'al aval lo yayin

I have no words to express how much I like this song, and how well it helps me get into a praying state of mind. It also helps me be more aware of G-D and His presence in my life.


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. The song and lyrics belong to Sagiv Cohen.

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Missing entries on my blog

Publié le par Charly

I have to come clean guys.

Recently I watched a video in which the author [sorry, can't remember who it was] was talking about people that get paid to write or film FAKE reviews for items, services, and so on.

This video hit home, quite hard, because I'm a freelance writer and I did get paid for that as well. However, once I was shameless enough to post that review on my blog, and have you [who reads this] believe that I actually know what I'm doing or talking about.

This blog was started as means for me to explore my creativity, share my life lessons, try and spread some more common sense to some who lack it [now that I matured a bit since I started I realize this is a near impossible task].

Back to my topic. Back when I posted that entry, I did feel guilty about it - I don't think I even mentioned I got paid for that entry. I remember I was rather happy I have something to post, since at that time I wasn't posting as much as now.

Today I'm coming 'clean,' I deleted that post, and will also have to further brush through my past entries to see what else doesn't fit in my blog anymore.

WordPress admin view. my previous blogging platform.

WordPress admin view. my previous blogging platform.

I deleted this entry a while back, but I wanted to show you guys proof that I did delete it, and that this post did exist at some point. I currently have another entry removed. Once I figure out which entries still need removing, I will probably take another screen capture of my trash folder and update this entry. Maybe, I don't know for sure for now.

Do know this is a slow process simply because I move slow. From now on I will only post things that happen to my partner and me, or just me. I may have my partner or other people write entries for me in the future, but until then, it will only be me posting. As stated earlier, I will only write about stuff that happens to me, that interest me, or my thoughts.

Wanted to clear things out, and assure you guys that the missing posts were intentional and not some sort of Mandela Effect.

If you read to here, WOW! you deserve a cookie! Have a good day!


© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Thoughts and ghosts from the past

Publié le par Charly Cross

Today's entry was supposed to be something different, but it's not done, and it can't be done today. Plus I have some other stuff I need to take care of, and there are just too many things to do and too little time.

So, instead, I'm going back on memory lane. I actually have a dream journal I wrote in since 2009, and I want to share some thoughts I had back then, as well as some events that took place before this particular entry dating back to December 16th, 2009. As you can tell, I didn't have a blog back then, and I wasn't even thinking about getting one. On, with the entry!

Whenever I dreamt I'll get something, found a treasure [containing money, jewelry], I'd pick it up, hoping I'll have it when I woke up [current thoughts: was I aware I was dreaming?] But this never happened; instead the general situation became worse. A said it was quite the opposite for her: she does get the item. I wonder if she ever dreamt of a treasure...

I have to mention the dreams I used to have like 10 years ago after granny died. I remember I asked her [soul] to come in my dreams because I couldn't cope with her death. And... she did.  Man, was she scary at times! Other times she was angry or mad at me [current thoughts: of course she was: she wanted to move on, not be stuck between here and there, DUH!].

Most of the times she didn't say a word. I would just see her and at times she was with grandpa [who died 7 years before her].  He was calm and he also gave me the impression he didn't know who I was.  The strange[r] part here is that when he died, granny said she wanted to still live for 7 years, so she could be buried in the same grave as him. Just as she finished saying that, I felt a wave of something running through me and I knew it would come true. Over the 7 years, I forgot about that.

my handwriting from my dream diary

my handwriting from my dream diary

There  was this one time when granny was so scary and she almost asked me to let her go. However I didn't want that in the beginning. Because I would wake up crying like crazy each time, [in the end] I did beg her to go find her peace. Soon after she didn't appear in my dreams anymore.

The dreams in which granny was calm were surreal and I wasn't aware I was dreaming. Usually later on I would realize it's a dream, and things would change. In one of them I remember both [grandparents] had a new big [Romanian] country[side] house with a big yard with lots of livestock. They also seemed happy and healthy.

A. saw the ghost of a dead singer from Japan. He was scary, much like granny was. I'm sure  we both saw real ghosts, even though mine was in a dream. 

No important dreams lately, and that makes me sad. Granny still visited me at times. I also dreamt about my dead uncle, but I don't recall anything important. I barely remember anything about these dead relatives, from the time they were alive.

Ok, so this was the entry. I had to edit it a bit to make the ideas flow more naturally. This written record has no ending, making it a bit surreal in my opinion.

Do you have such strange dreams? Have you even seen a ghost? Or dreamt about dead people?


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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How many Hanzi do I know?

Publié le par Charly Cross

I believe in this post I mentioned something about posting an entry on how many Chinese characters -hanzi- I know. This post is it.

I don't really have much to say about this, but there are a few clarifications I must make.

This list below shows translations for single-character words, but I do know a few that are formed of 2 characters. I will create a list for those words sometime in the future as well [ahem, whenever I remember I guess, ahem].

screen capture :)

screen capture :)

I included only the translation I'm more familiar with, though I do know some of them have many other meanings. But that is ok, because other meanings can be learned at a later time. I didn't translate the numbers. The meaning of some of these characters was easier to remember because several years back I wanted to study Japanese. I still have some materials for that, but it basically collects dust.

I may not know the reading of all of them -seriously, there are a handful with which I still struggle to remember how to read, but I know what they mean, or how to translate them.

The list is a little over 100 characters long, but I'm pretty sure I didn't include all the Hanzi I know. This simply means I must have skipped or forgotten to add some. I think that if you want to learn and keep track of your progress in a foreign language, then a spreadsheet can be useful.

A small notebook is a good alternative for languages that use a different script than what you're used to is also helpful because by writing the words by hand, you'll memorize them faster. Just make sure to write on each page the same amount of words if you want to keep a good track of your vocabulary. Using several notebooks might also be a good idea: one for grammar, one for new words, another one to pair words up.

Please remember that even though I started this Mandarin learning journey last year, I didn't have time to do it every single day. For crying out loud, I had some 3 or 4 months when I had a full time job when I had no more energy to study. And even this year, with all the free time I ha, I didn't dedicate it all to Chinese - you could say I'm not that serious about it. Mostly because I still want to like it, rather than stress about it.

I should probably tell you what tools do I use to learn Mandarin. There are several websites:

  • archchinese [learn how to write and read each hanzi, their traditional form, and more],
  • allsetlearning [focuses on grammar and you don't always have the translation or the reading on the page],
  • learnchineseez [learn how to write the hanzi, their traditional form, reading(s) and (main) meanings]. All these sites offer free materials to help your individual studies, but you might want to get a tutor as well if things are easier for you that way.

[I'm not affiliated with any, not getting paid by them - just the tools I used and helped me the most].

See you on Tuesday with an esoteric entry, on Thursday with a review, and again on Sunday with another blog entry related to my [boring] life. Bye~~


©Charly Cross 2013-present. All rights reserved.

You can buy merch inspired by this post from over here.

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Praying brought me peace of mind

Publié le par Charly Cross

I hope this entry inspires you to pray, be a more grateful and kind person. I want to mention that while I do mention God from the Bible, I will NEVER force anyone to share my views. Atheists might be the only people who see no need for praying and I am nobody to tell them otherwise.

 

I started praying a few months back. I was tormented by various nightmares that would pop up when I felt more anxious or stressed. One evening, I decided that I had enough of these terrors, and I started praying to G-D, as in the Bible. To my surprise, my prayer has been answered ... on the spot. I instantly felt at peace, loved, not alone.

 

My only worry is the dark figure I felt and nearly saw coming to my side that evening. I don't want to jump to conclusions, and say it was this or that, but said figure took away whatever was tormenting me, and now even if I want to think of those things I can't. Not for more than 5 seconds.

 

In any case, this happening gave me the push I needed to start praying more. And to actually to way of G-D's presence in my life. Even before that evening I was trying to see the side the side of the glass everyone thinks is full [though the glass is ALWAYS full. But this theory is for another time]. This thinking is also encouraged by those who use a bullet journal - it is recommended to have a gratitude's section for every month you're using the journal.

 

how do i pray

I usually pray at night, before going to bed. Sometimes when I wake up. Praying throughout the day is more rare. Before telling you how I pray, you must know the purpose of prayer: it is meant to renew our awareness of the Being we pray to, and it is meant to also help us attune more with said Being [in my case, G-D].

 

I try to find a quiet moment [when I consider nothing will interfere with the process]. I start reciting Lord's Prayer - and I use the 1928 English version because for some reason I do this in English. I try to use the Latin version too, but I have a hard time remembering the words, and I don't always want to read it - well, in time it will happen.

 

When I finish Lord's Prayer, I start by thanking G-D for all the things I possess [I try to call Him Father, but it doesn't always work. I also use words like G-D and Lord, but I feel the distance grows, and I want to avoid this]. I'm giving thanks for the clothes I wear, for the roof over my head, the food on the table, my skills and abilities, and so on.

 

Then I ask for forgiveness for my wrong-doings as well as those of other people. Asking Lord to forgive other people makes me feel at peace the most. At this point I also try to remember that Jesus died for our sins, and that if we truly believe in Him, we will be saved. This is why I ask for forgiveness.

 

I'm being truthful and trying to "confess" my sins, directly to G-D. If He hears my prayer he will hear my confession as well. And let's be honest here: some of us are utterly embarrassed by some of their past actions. Priests are not supposed to judge you, but how can we be sure they won't? Even if they're not supposed to reveal to anyone whatever you confess. Maybe I'm paranoid and committing a sin by thinking this way. I trust G-D, humans not so much.

 

how did prayer help me

First of all, it helps me be more aware of my actions. For instance, I personally see no point in asking for forgiveness for something if the next day I do the same thing I wanted to be forgiven for. Just like with other people, if you're sorry for having done something, prove it by not repeating it. It really is as easy as that - no excuses.

 

It also helped me be more tolerant with others. When others do something that is generally seen as bothering [or it only bothers me], I start telling myself they don't know what they're doing. This simply means the person doesn't realize or is not aware of the consequences of their actions.

 

I also feel more happy and at peace with myself and everything and everyone around me. This means conflict is minimized. Of course, accidents do still happen, but we generally have a peaceful home.

 

I also have more faith that more good things will come my way in the future. I might jinx this, but I'm sure I will get the physical things I desire. I also know that whatever difficulties i encounter are not more difficult than what I can handle - my Father made sure of this.


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Quotes can make you look wiser

Publié le par Charly C.

It is highly possible to have heard your parents or grandparents citing various things to you that became like a mantra. You probably never understood them and felt almost like an idiot - I know I did. However, most people like to recite very famous quotes, and while you should know who said what, it is time you created a little booklet of quotes of your own, to sound smarter and wiser.

Today's quotes are by Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee. But this is something he didn't really want to be remembered as. He wanted to be his own person, apart from his famous father. Sadly, somehow this is now a bit impossible to achieve, simply because he died way too soon.

Quotes can make you look wiser

"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times. And a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive your life without it? Perhaps 4 or 5 times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless."

"You only have the burdens on you that you choose to put there."

"God knows the times I have found myself in absurd situations."

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."

"A fight can express things people might not be able to say with words."

"Believe me, nothing is trivial."

"If you've ever found yourself pushed to the limits of your tolerance... you find yourself doing some things that, from the outside, can be seen as quite insane."


Most likely these quotes will mean something different to everyone. But all of them have something to teach us. They make us smarter and wiser. If we pay attention to some of these words, we might even avoid making some huge mistakes later on.

I'll see you again on Sunday.

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Shopping trip failure - vlog-

Publié le par Charly Cross

So, as mentioned in last Sunday's entry, today I will post a vlog video, with a little explanation.

I think YouTube is messing up the audio of the videos. So, if you don't hear well, blame both the beginner me and YouTube. You get to see glimpses of Bucharest that you don't usually see in travel blogs and magazines, along with random Romanians going about their way. yay?

As I'm trying to explain in this video, my friend ordered a product online, and she was supposed to go pick it up. I went along and recorded the adventure. It took us some 45 minutes to the [mini]mall where the place [called eMag] was. We were told to wait in line, and after some half an hour they said their server crashed O.O and that it would probably last some 45 minutes to fix it.

And so we waited, as we hoped it would be true. So we tried out this café place with a really nice view. I had a sandwich as I was starving - and it was pretty good. Don't ask about its name as I forgot it and I don't even remember seeing it posted anywhere.

My friend went back to the store - we then realized it was a showroom only, and the server worked for some 5 to 20 minutes and crashed again. Some 20 minutes before closing time! (at 9pm - most other stores close at 10 pm) We still stayed, as we weren't the only people needing to pay for stuff. Of course we waited in vain.

The video ends with me complaining about their customer service and just how generally uncool this [mini]mall was. They were supposed to call her the next day, but didn't. As expected.

While this shopping trip seemed like a failure, it was actually a disguised blessing. Some days later we found the product she wanted at another store and the full price wasn't even the one eMag mentioned! They said they were selling it for 50% off - full price being some 190 Lei? The store we found was selling it for just 120 Lei full price [tax included, as in Romania the prices shown on the shelf includes the sales tax].

My friend ended with getting another similar product that was on sale, from the second store. Happy ending!

What I didn't mention in the video was that while we were waiting in line the first time around, we decided to get a mouse as well - it was pretty cheap. Except the guy told me I would have to go back the next day or the day after to pay and pick it up: they didn't have it in stock!


© Charly Cross 2013-present. All rights reserved.

You can now buy merch inspired by this experience, from here. There are more types of items available, not just the tote bag I made as default.

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Adventures in July

Publié le par Charly Cross

I actually wanted to have such an entry almost every month, but this wasn't really possible, especially if I had something else to say, or if I didn't have enough time.

Unlike July 2016, this one was quite full. I had a pretty big task to write at the beginning of the month, and then 2 smaller ones. Well, this is not really something you might really be interested in, so, no pics to show off.

I also managed to stick more to a posting schedule, all thanks to my bullet journal. If it looks messy, it's because I have yet to discover a journaling method that works for me. Or that looks less messy. An if you think this is not a proper bullet journal notebook, you're right: it is an agenda used as a daily planner with no monthly spreads, with dedicated pages for each day, so on. It might serve better as  a diary, if you were to write every day, a single page. I use the date written on the page, as page-number.

I was a beginner at bullet journaling. still am.
I was a beginner at bullet journaling. still am.

I was a beginner at bullet journaling. still am.

What stood out the most, was Ciel my pet crow being more active, coming to me to play, and all that jazz. I was really scared that he might be depressed, but I guess he's not. His favorite things to play with are items that are long and thin - line pens, pencils, drinking straws. He likes to play with pens so much, he learned where I keep them and goes to them to steal them. It's actually quite hilarious!

He knows which pens I don't want him to play with, and those are the ones he wants the most. Of course! Last night, when we returned from a stroll in the park, I found ALL the pens missing from their place, a bird dancing on the table, and the floor covered in pens. That was quite something to clean, HAHA!

This video is from the first day he started playing so much.  I thought he's hilarious! He would keep on coming back for more pens! And, yes, I have several looking identical, for no good reason.

We also went out to have ice cream. And we did it as often as we could. What you need to know is that we found a few places selling really good ice cream. For instance, Ana Baking has one of the best salted caramel ice creams! Guys! You HAVE to go there if you ever visit Romania. Just don't order coffee or coffee based drinks: our tasted like something nasty, and we won't get that again.

Adventures in July

Another awesome ice-cream we had was at this place called Caffeol. The ice cream came in a cone, dipped in a milkshake! We ordered the coconut flavor one which was inspired by the Raffaello bonbons. It even had one bonbon on top! Guys! One such drink is more than enough for 2 people! Sadly, if you want to order soy milk in your drink, you have to pay more :(

up close: Raffaello Maddness. picture by @calinescu_alexandru on instagram.

up close: Raffaello Maddness. picture by @calinescu_alexandru on instagram.

This place also sells some lemonades: some 5 flavors? there is classic lemonade, lemonade with melon, with strawberry, and I forgot what else. I managed to order a melon lemonade without lemon [say that 3 times fast!] and it tasted so good! It basically contains melon or strawberry, orange and lemon, so you can give up the lemon or orange if you really want. My partner has a sensitive stomach and citrus fruits, especially lemons are REALLY bad for their stomach.

that's one of their lemonades and a Snickers Maddness frappe. pic by @foodofromania on instagram

that's one of their lemonades and a Snickers Maddness frappe. pic by @foodofromania on instagram

Sadly I lost my pictures of the drinks, so I had to search them up. Caffeol has 3 locations: one in the Historical Center of Bucharest - where we went, one in Brasov and another one in Ploiesti. Check them out if you visit Romania!

We wanted to go to the pool, however we didn't manage to get around to it. Hopefully, this month, we will go there. The thing is, we have a couple water parks, and lake sides where we could go to swim or relax, however it is not safe to go there, health-wise. Those waters are not as monitored, and since so many people go there, the waters are more likely to be contaminated with all sorts of bacteria and viruses. Going to a pool club of sorts, is more fancy and safe as far as your health goes. Here are a couple of pictures from 2 years ago.

Adventures in July

This is actually a health center with a gym, sauna, swimming pool, and there is a restaurant as well. The place is located by a lake, but the pool is covered and not connected to the lake. It's really quiet and peaceful. Too bad the entrance fee is rather high in local currency.

This month also marked the first time I wrote something in Chinese, all by myself. I'm so proud of myself: I started studying Mandarin last year, but I was never consistent about it. However I do have something to show for it. Maybe I will post a separate entry with all the characters I DO know. Until then, this is what I wrote:

Adventures in July

 In all fairness, the "nice to meet you" line [the one before the short break] I wrote by looking it up and I have yet to learn how to say it without looking at the pronunciation. I can post a comment with the reading and translation if you want, just say so below ;)

There is one more thing that happened, right on the last day of July, but please stay tuned for that one, as I have a vlog about it. I will post it separately because this already became too long, and I need to write a few more explanations for the vlog.

Until next Sunday~~


(c) Charly Cross 2013 – present. all rights reserved.

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we're all parrots

Publié le par Charly C.

This may sound like a weird title or subject to write about, however, when you really thinking about it, you'll see this is true.

As adults we might think that parroting is something of an insult, but honestly this is how we learn things! Everything we know is more or less parroting others and their knowledge.

Think about it: when we're toddlers, how do we learn how to talk? by parroting our parents, or whoever is around us. How do we learn how to write in primary school? By imitating and drawing the letters we're shown. Later on, many learn how to apply makeup or to style their hair by imitating others - these days "others" simply means beauty gurus on YouTube and other platforms.

The same goes for singing or dancing. Any type of singing or dancing.

So, why do we take so much offense when we're told we're just imitating what we saw or heard? Why are many people so offended when told they lack imagination, that they're not original?

People have been roaming the planet for tens of thousands of years. It is VERY difficult to come up with something new and original.

Even this blog is imitating other blogs. Why do I think it is original? because in a way it is all over the place. But, then again, so are other blogs and even books.

That is all I had to say for now.


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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RIP Chester [Linkin Park]

Publié le par Charly Cross

RIP Chester. I wish you found peace. Sadly you'll never get to read this. :( This entry is beyond serious. Depression goes hand in hand with suicide. These two topics are generally taboo. But we need to talk about them, we need to learn how to read the signs. And we need to be more understanding of those suffering from these ... I'm not sure how to call them.

 

If you're like me, you probably have no idea what depression is. Or how does it feel. How it REALLY feels.

 

Sometime last year I read about a woman who went to a hair salon wanting to buy some hair products: her hair was a rat's nest, all tangled up. Poor woman thought that by getting expensive hair care the tangles will magically go away: they would not. Only a careful hand with a comb can do something about that. One of the employees stopped her from shopping and instead invited her for a de-tangling session. The woman only managed to show up a few weeks later after several attempts at making an appointment and then canceling or not showing up. the woman was severely depressed. so much she didn't care to wash or comb her hair.

 

Depression is also walking down the street and not realizing a car is about to hit you, or not caring if it does [this happened to me, but I think it was a mistake since i was really upset that day]. Sometimes I get the blues, and it can last for some days. But then it passes.

 

But you know what? Depression is like a weed that keep growing back, like some mold you don't notice because it forms behind some furniture. And it spreads slowly. slowly but steady. And when you finally see it, the only solution is to completely remove the wall.

 

Depression is like a worm in an apple, in a way: you can't know the apple is rotten until you cut it open. Depressed people are similar because depression is not only tired eyes and black eyeliner. But there are signs. Signs that a trained eye - or another sufferer- is able to see. Fake smiles, flimsy happiness that doesn't last more than a few hours.

 

I know depression because my partner is depressed. What scares me the most is that they have almost the same mannerisms as Chester in this short clip. Not to mention a very similar way of talking, intonation and all.

 

I just watched a few Linkin Park videos. In the end for instance, clearly describes depression and even suicide. I still have a difficult time realizing he's gone: it's unreal. He didn't really mean anything to me, but ... I can't realize what it is.

 

I even have a confession to make. I knew he would die - just didn't know how. I have some sort of a 6th sense, or psychic abilities, if you will - that's why I started posting tarot interpretations. Sometimes I just KNOW things. A few months back I started watching their Breaking the Habit video. In the middle of one session I heard a voice telling me he will die. I brushed it off. I am not sure I would have been able to prevent it. But those close to him could have!

 

People NEED to start learning about depression more. To recognize it, and also how they can help those suffering from it. Depression doesn't pass with pills - they just might make things bearable. A therapist doesn't always help - because they're also human, and they're not always good at being a therapist.

 

What could help more is for friends and family:

  • not to push the sufferer into unpleasant situations, by saying "oh, come on, come with us!" Instead something like "if you change your mind, we're at...."
  • not to act condescending, by saying "oh, you'll get over it!" NO they wont! it's not the blues, not just sadness, but deep shit. so deep your brain can't comprehend it. A "hang in there" or "i'm here" is sometimes much more helpful. this attitude gets them One Step Closer to the edge..
  • check on the person 24/7, like on an infant, like first time parents do.
  • read forums about mental disorders: they generally talk about depression as well. they can learn more about how sufferers hide it, how to deal with it, and so on.
  • understand that for a depressed person, ANYTHING can be a trigger for suicide - it doesn't matter how small it is in their peer's eyes. It could be as small as a Papercut.
  • not to blame the depressed person. see the point above.  telling them calmly something is wrong, but that it's not serious and it can quite easily be fixed is a better approach.
  • thanking the depressed person for everything they do: joining them for breakfast, for a group activity, or anything they have a really hard time doing.

 

Please, if you know someone depressed, DO NOT laugh at them, do not tell them they're weak or cowards when they 'casually' talk about suicide. Most definitely DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tell them to 'just do it" because in that moment you just took their life away! YOU killed that person! Morally, it won't be a suicide anymore, but an act of taking another person's life! If you think you can live with that hanging on your conscience, then you're a psychopath and you're a danger to society, and need to be locked up!

 

All those people complaining Linkin Park's music changed, THEY KILLED Chester. and sadly, I saw MANY people lately acting the same way: laughing at various popular people, and thinking of themselves they're better than said popular people.

 

I hope Chester's family and friends are strong enough to get over this tragedy.


(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. all rights reserved.

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