life experience

So this entry has to be a bit longer, than what i wrote in this diary, so 2 entries are coming your way. 

my blog my rules, so ... i don't know what to tell ya. 

august 25th

1. GRATEFUL I HAD ENOUGH ENERGY TO CLEAN THE FLOORS YESTERDAY. 

i had a period when i was feeling very tired. maybe it was the depression controlling me. 

2. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY I HAD THE INSPIRATION TO PAINT OVER A LARGE PRINT.

- sidenote: i found these 2 large prints from IKEA. I like one of them more than the other. i decided to turn the one i liked less into an actual painting, by painting over it. 

of course, this wasn't done in one evening, but still. I used mixed media to cover the original image. this is an attempt for me to curb my controlling tendencies. long story that i don't think I'll talk about. 

the painting is not finished yet, as i type this (feb. 14th, 2024) ... and yes, i can post in the past. yay, internet. 

3. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY I FINISHED THE TASK EARLIER THAN I WAS SUPPOSED TO. 

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september 4th

1. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY WITH (BECAUSE OF) THE YELLOW SKIRT WE GOT ON SATURDAY. 

that day we went out to check out some second hand stores. i forgot what exactly what else we found, but that skirt is really pretty and spring-like. i don't think it still fits me because i gained some weight. maybe I'll lose the extra kgs until the time comes for the skirt time. 

2. GRATEFUL ANNA TOOK THE DOGS OUT THIS MORNING. 

i suppose i was really tired that day. it is helpful to sleep for longer at times. 

3. GRATEFUL WE GOT A NEW TASK A FEW DAYS AGO. 

this needs no more explanation. 

A\ happy we went to the pool twice last week. 

B\ happy i found some paper, net, and a traditional bowl. it's very cheerful and beautiful. 

as you can see, the entries are posted in between the 2 days of gratitudes. this seems better for me than posting for one day or the other. 

the ice cream has nothing to do with going to the pool. unfortunately. it's just a dessert we had back in july 2022. I suddenly remember that the place selling this dessert didn't have anything to carry them home. the day was very hot and they were melting quite fast, and we were FAR from home. 

i had to go to a different ice cream place and demand for a container. oh, the drama i had there until the manager decided to take the money i was offering for the container. I was pretty upset and worked up over these incidents. almost 2 years later and this doesn't matter anymore. funny how life is. 

but seriously, if someone offers you money, as a store, you take it: it's in your best interest.  

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Hi. These are blog entries that i wrote in some agenda. In an attempt at decluttering, i will digitize whatever i can, so here we go. 

1. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY i FOUND A SACK FILLED WITH SHEETS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE IN A VERY GOOD CONDITION - don't get me started with consumerism, shopping, etc. 

2. GRATEFUL WE CAN WORK FROM HOME - this one will forever stand. 

3. GRATEFUL WE HAVE A PLACE WE CAN CALL "HOME" FROM WHICH WE CAN WORK. ;P 

A. happy with the two small cacti we bought. - i managed to kill one by drowning it. the other survives. I don't have a picture of the cactus, so i used an image of yellow tulips in a vase.

The vase is there, i promise. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Do you want to buy me a coffee? this is a 1-time donation, thank you very much!

Hello there! 

I decided to make this entry as part of blogmas 2022. The challenge is for day 8 and it consists of some gift ideas. There are many ways of making a person happy, but not many think of making animals happy. I wish this would change. 

Several entries ago, i wrote about adopting animals. Read one of them here and read the other one here.

Last year in the summer, my partner decided to take a walk in Carol Park. I wrote about it in this entry, if you're curious. So, we go in the park, on a certain side path. As we walk, we see a white and orange kitty. As we approach, we see the kitty has more brothers. They also had some food and water container that other people filled. We also ran to the store and bought some kitten food. which they ate. 

The white and orange kitty had a white/black brother, a 3 colored sister, an all-orange and stripy sister (we first thought it was a boy), and 3 all-black brothers. We first saw just 1 of the black cats. Then, we saw the 2nd one after some time. And yet, after some more weeks, a 3rd fully-black cat cam. We only realized this because all of them were present at the same time. 

In these 2 pictures, we can only see 3 of the cat brothers, eating well. They were hungry even though they had quite a bit of food. brought to them by other people. 

In some ways, they were lucky because several people were passing by daily to feed them and to give them water.

The first cat that got a family

The first cat that wanted and found a family is the one that appeared in front of us, the white and orange one. he's not seen in the pics above, but below. 

The image is blurry, sadly. I believe this is an iPhone 4 picture. He was maybe 2 or 3 months old at the time, and a bit on the skinny side. 

When we saw him that evening when he got home, he appeared not to feel very well. Clearly, thinking he was sick, we decided we take him home, regardless of the fact that we had no bag or cat carrier on us. 

It didn't matter, because he acted sick all the way to home. Once we 'quarantined' him, he sprang back to life. He was eating, and drinking, and i think he even used the litter box right away. 

We didn't think we can keep him, and personally, i didn't feel much attachment towards him. :( We knew someone who wanted a cat for some time, and we also wanted to rescue as many of his brothers as possible. So, Whuay went to another home where there were no other cats to compete for human attention. 

He did spend some time with us, getting used to life indoors which seemed to be all he ever wanted. I say this because once at home, he started exploring the "quarantine" room right awaya and wanting to make friends with our older cats, Whiskey and Mickey.

As far as we know, he's doing fine, he's loved, and this is what matters. I do miss him now that i looked at the pics i have of him. 

The 2nd cat getting a family

The second cat finding a family is the white and black one seen in the first image. This is because we still went every other day to give the kitties water and food. That summer was brutal, with very high temperatures. 

His current name is Churro, but when we first saw him, we called him Oreo because of his color combination. 

I have basically 2 memories of this kitty in the park, though we saw him more often than that. One time, when we went to feed them, he was up on the tree, trying to sharpen his claws. We knew he is a very playful fella right then and there. He was absolutely adorable.

The other memory i have of him from the park is from one evening when 2 young girls came to feed the kitties. However, this is not all they did: they also left with this kitty but said they'd bring him back. 

Why did they take him, you ask? it's because they wanted to play with him in a safer environment. They couldn't keep him though, as it was their parents who had the last word on the matter. 

We got quite mad with the girls because they gave Churro, at the time Oreo, fake hopes of a home. :( One of the next times we went to feed the kitties, only Churro/Oreo was there, all alone. He looked sad and lonely. We didn't think twice about it, we just grabbed him and went home with him, after leaving food for his brothers.

Look how handsome he is! Sadly, the red bow didn't last for long, but it sure fitted him. However, the surprized face expression persists, and he's just amazing! 

The 3rd cat coming home with us

The 3rd cat that came home with us is probably the black one in the first image. Why do i say probably? Because they were a total of 3 black cat brothers! proof below! The black cat we first saw got named Shadow, and then all the black kitties received the same name because we couldn't tell them apart. 

There are 2 things i need to mention:

• we didn't know there are 3 black cats from the start
• the 3rd cat didn't come home last year like his brothers, but this year

I forgot how many of the kitties we saw the very first time we went. I do remember that we were surprised to see a completely black cat among the others. Then, one evening, we saw a 2nd completely black cat. Again, we were surprised and felt as if someone played a trick on us. 

But, then! a 3RD FULLY BLACK kitty appeared from nowhere! They were there all 3 at once, as seen in the pic above, and all of them were boys. One of them was more scared of us than the others, and another one more friendly. 

Another memory i have regarding these black brothers is that one time, one evening, just 1 of them was there out of all the remaining brothers. Not only this but the one that came to eat was one of the friendlier black brothers. So, i managed to touch him and cuddle him. 

I believe that was the evening he followed us through the park, almost close to the entry point we use. He was also crying/meowing and looking sad. T_T We were certain he wanted to come home with us. We ... just ... thought we couldn't deal with so many cats. We felt really bad and sorry we didn't take him with us that day.

Almost a year passed by. During these months we continued to take food to the kitties. however, sometime in spring, they disappeared. The area where they were being fed was demolished further - it used to be a restaurant type of location that caught fire at some point. 

This led the kitties to scatter, we think, or perhaps someone took 2 of the remaining cats, leaving the 3 black brothers. Then, not even they came to being fed anymore. So, we stopped going seeing that there were no more cats to feed. 

But life is twisted and at the beginning of September '22 we went again just on a whim. And we found Shadow! He recognized us by our voices and came to eat and drink. The next day we went with the cat cage in tow, hoping to find and catch him. And we were lucky! he was very easy to "catch" and now he has a furreverr home and he adapted VERY well to his new environment. 

In the middle, is Scotch the dog that i haven't introduced yet. We currently have 4 cats, a dog, and a crow. Life is stressful with so many pets, but we are very happy to have rescued 3 kitties out of maybe a total of 7 brothers. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Do you want to buy me a coffee? this is a 1-time donation, thank you very much!

... it's that you don't want to do it. There's a difference there.

Hello everyone!

You probably wonder what's this title all about, though it should be self-explanatory. Yet, i need to rant and get angry at certain people and at myself as well, and my blog is the best place and way to do this. 

It's less damaging and maybe, just maybe .... maybe? 

someone [including myself] will understand this, and stop saying "i can't" and just admit you don't *fducking* want to do whatever there must be done. 

Except there's no film to roll back, and i have to explain the situation. if you don't want to read the backstory, feel free to scroll down to the next title. 

This past week [10 to 16 of july 2022] we went out on a very hot day for some beauty treatment. Seeing it was so hot, we decided to have some ice cream, though all we wanted was to drink something.

We found this *NEW* ice cream place uptown that used a chimney cake, aka Kürtőskalács, as the cone for the ice cream. There aren't many flavors of ice cream to choose from, but their names were really cool: fashion vibe or strawberry vibe. This is what they look like: 

As you can (or maybe not so much), the fashion one (on the right), is actually cocoa ice cream with pieces of chocolate, and with the chimney cake covered in cocoa powder. That one was my ice cream. The other one was anna’s and she didn’t want to eat it right away. 

Taking it home was troublesome for this Vibe place didn’t have anything to carry the ice cream in. Luckily, the area has plenty of other options for ice creams and many have containers for takeout.

So, we went to the nearest one, and I asked for one such container. Not for free, mind you. And the cashier says “oh, sorry, I don’t have containers!” They were piled RIGHT behind her! Everyone could see them!

I had to point out that my ice cream was melting and making a mess in her store. That was when she decided to ask her supervisor what to do. This situation turned my into THAT customer that says "can i speak with a manager? :) " 

‘Can’t’ - reserved for very few instances 

These are mental health issues that are difficult to ’cure’ or overcome. They simply incapacitate the sufferer from doing whatever caused them to suffer in the first place. 

Not everyone might suffer to the same degree from the same issue. For instance, I can’t watch scenes with folks trapped in tight spaces: I feel as if I am in their shoes and I start panicking and hyperventilating. Others in the same situation as me might have a different reaction. 

Let's say, you just start learning something new just for fun, or for whatever reason. Someone asks you to help them with a project in your new area of study. All sounds nice, and they even offer to pay for your service.

The problem is when they ask for help on something you didn't get to study yet or is a bit too difficult for you to understand.  

Let's say you might plan on meeting with your friends a few days in advance, but then you forget or something else comes up that needs your urgent attention. 

In such a case, you clearly have to say "I can't, something else came up that is more important." You don't really need to explain more than this unless it's a close friend. 

This usually applies to those with a disability. Let's assume you have to climb some stairs, but you're bound to a wheelchair and there's no ramp available. Sadly, there still are places in such a state. It's not as if you're going to crawl to wherever the stairs go. 

It also applies to doing something that goes against your beliefs. This can be related to consuming alcohol, smoking (anything), sleeping with someone to whom you're not married, etc, etc.

Should any of these be the case, it's PERFECTLY fine and acceptable to say "I can't" and you could explain why as well unless it's visually noticeable. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Do you want to buy me a coffee? this is a 1-time donation, thank you very much!

The first image belongs to Outcast and is shared for educational purposes.

Hello, everyone! 

It’s half-hour to midnight as i start typing this. I wrote several entries before, related more or less to this topic here and here.

Self-love is difficult. I should know because for the longest time i felt ‘i wasn’t enough.’ Enough what, you say? Enough anything. Especially not good enough. 

i know im not the only one feeling this way. Last year i finally accepted i needed help to get out of the dark spot i was in. This was also difficult for me to accept. 

What helped me to finally accept this was Anna. Her support was and still is beyond what words can describe. She’s a blessing to me. 

So, i started ‘therapy’ and treatment, at first for anxiety. The treatment for depression started some 3 months later. I feel MUCH better. The results started to manifest some 3 weeks into the treatment. 

I'm not fully cured or fixed. I don’t know if i ever will, but who knows. I hope i'm getting there or that i'm on the right path. 

No self-love

It’s hard to love thyself when you feel you’re not enough. like i said, I constantly felt this way, even before i showed no signs of bad anxiety or depression. I used to doubt myself, not feel confident enough when going out, and always feel like an impostor even when i was going to buy a bottle of soda. 

The few times i felt better when out and about, was when i was wearing what i perceived as "unusual" clothes. This was related to what the majority wears: office clothing, casual, smart/casual, and sports. 

So, my sense of "unusual" is something that could be remotely associated with subcultures, like for instance goths or rockers. i also like the avant-garde, urban decay, and futuristic styles. 

At home, the "not enough"/impostor feeling, weirdly enough, made me procrastinate. Did i know this doesn't help with anything at all? Logically, yes, of course, i did. However, knowing this didn't and doesn't magically motivate me to become (pro)active. 

At night, i used to have many dark thoughts as well as heavy guilt that was not mine to bear. These dark thoughts and guilt, i don't want to talk about. At least not now. i hope i never will be forced to talk about them. 

How can a person riddled with dark thoughts and guilt, love themselves? I have no idea, because i couldn't. 

I eventually got rid of these thoughts and guilt through prayer. I prayed with a lot of hope and pain. That evening i felt a tall dark human-like figure entering the bedroom and sitting on my bed. i didn't feel any evilness from it, just calmness.

Like a black hole, it sucked all those thoughts away. They never returned, or at least not to that extent. But this was still pretty far from ending everything. The scars are still there. At least one wound didn't completely heal. i don't know if it will ever. 

In time, all these along with other issues, like the water problem, got me in the dark spot of depression. 

it took some time for me to admit this and to accept the treatment. But everything changed once i did. 

Some self-love

The antidepressant made me not care whether i'm enough or not. I don't feel like an impostor anymore, and i feel more self-secure about everything. Well, maybe not about every little thing, but, you know, most things. 

Even more important than this, i can laugh! I can laugh so much more easily. Before the treatment, laughing was some sort of luxury. Everyone could do it but me. And it feels natural, normal ... GOOD! 

So, what does self-love have to do with anything? it does. Almost everything, actually. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. How? if you don't love yourself, or take care of yourself, you can't take care of those who you say you love. 

Why? Because you'll stretch yourself left, right, up, and down, again and again. At a certain moment, you'll stretch too much and snap, if you're unlucky. I was unlucky in '16 but we don't talk about that year this way.  

When you take care of yourself, you won't stretch yourself out to the breaking point. You have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy for your mental wellbeing. Not stretching yourself too much means your chances of snapping are much lower. This means you can be around for those who you love and who love you back, for longer.

…forgiving oneself…

Self-forgiveness is an important part of self love. It’s well known that nobody can criticise you more than you can. We often have the impression that we made some huge and horrible mistakes regarding some small stuff. Others might say otherwise if you were to ask them. 

And you know what? They may be correct at least some 99% of times. So, if there arevery high chances for them to forgive you, why don’t YOU try to firgive yourself? It’s NOT your fault for what happened. Surely you did your best with the tools and knowledge you had. Or you simply didn’t know any better. 

You need to understand that we are just humans and all we can do is trying our best. When we make mistakes, we can apologize, learn from them, and try to fix them. 

This post was written on different days, so now, when I post it I’m not sure what was the original point I wanted to reach. I do hope it will be of some help for some of you out there. 
 

See you next time ~~~~

Hello, everyone!

This entry will be different compared to most of the ones i shared here. Through this post, you'll get to know me better. As the title suggests, I'll be sharing some memories i have from my early years in this world. 

There are many things I remember since I was a child. I’m not sure which memory is the oldest. I want to write these down so I may still remember them. 

One of the earliest is of my grandma on my dad’s side, holding me and one of my older cousins. It’s possible I was maybe older than 6 months old at the time. I remember my cousin was reaching out towards me to give me a kiss. All I remember is that I didn’t want to be kissed and I hid my face in my grandma’s chest. It is also possible I also started crying. There is at least 1 picture of that time. Now, both grandma and that cousin are dead. He actually died drowned in a lake probably a few months later than this picture. I also vaguely remember going to a part of his funeral. I remember a generally dark room, lots of people, and him in his coffin, surrounded by lit candles. I didn’t understand what was happening for sure. 

When I was 3 years old, my aunt gave birth to another son. I was at the countryside, where my paternal grandparents lived. She brought her new born so that they would meet him. This time around, my new cousin being a baby, he needed to sleep a lot. My aunt and grandma would sit with their legs stretched out, and put the baby on their legs, while trying to rotate the legs from left to right and back. The motion was comforting for the babies back then as we didn’t have any other special crib. 

When the baby would fall asleep, the person could slowly separate their legs, and the baby would not realize they’re on the bed. I realized that the motion is pretty easy to perform and so I asked if I could do it. I was allowed to do it, though I’m sure I was supervised. I also remember that despite me being 3 years old, I was still being put to sleep the same way. I remember I liked it so much, I was asking for it, until I was older and too long compared to the legs of the person I was asking. 

Speaking of the countryside, many households have their toilet outside in the yard. I can’t remember exactly what type of toilet my paternal grandparents used to have. This is the outdoors toilet my maternal grandparents used to have until recently.  

No, they didn't replace it with a modern toilet, just this construction got a bit of a revamp. Out of all my grandparents, just my mom's dad is still barely alive at 90-something years old. 

Stick around for more stories coming up in the future. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Sigh.. 

I just can't man, i just can't with people and their narrow minds... 

it's so frustrating these days because almost everyone and everywhere you turn, you're expected to be:

• politically correct 
• be careful not to step on people's toes
• be mindful of what you say because 1 person could get offended. 

1 person!!! GETS OFFENDED!!! 

Dear offended anon, whatever is said has NOTHING to do with you. 

If you think it does, then perhaps there's something wrong with YOUR behavior or the way you perceive things. The only conclusion or advice i can come up with is to seek some help. 

Nobody is trying to insult others for absolutely no reason. 

There are many instances where even a group of people gets offended by history or some ideas or stories depicted in some books. The group decides to BAN the "offensive" books. Read about such an example right here. The ban was due to 8 swear words and some nudity. It’s insane considering that we have TV shows with more profanities and nudity than that book.

This is so tiresome!

Disclaimer: 2 of the pictures here don’t belong to me. 

Most of this censorship is enforced on social media networks like FB, YT, IG, TWR. Some of the censorship is encountered in various online games aimed at either kids or adults. I agree that users of the kids games should be careful with their words. But not to the extent of banning certain words like ’grapes’. If you remove the first letter, you’re left with a violent action for which severe punishment is needed. But what if you really talk about the fruits called that? 

Perhaps banning a word or two isn’t so bad on a kids’ game. But how about that game removes the possibility of user interaction through its forum instead? Child predators can easily create accounts and start ‘grooming’ their innocent victims.

At the end of the day, the banning of some words on this gaming platform has this purpose: protecting kids, and this is understandable, despite the measure being rather silly and pointless. 

There’s a far more concerning situation though, when it comes to freedom of speech. This is in the context of the health crisiss we still have going on, along with the war. 

We all saw or heard from the news that certain countries in Africa refused to get vaccinated or use the mask. The news were saying that the presidents of those countries declared their countries will not adopt the measures. Fair enough, if you ask me. 

However, i’m pretty sure that the statements issued by those leaders meant that the state won’t force its citizens to adopt any safety measures, like most other countries around the world did. 

Now, if we were to walk the streets of some of the main cities, we surely would have seen some masked individuals. Most likely, it would have been a rare sight if the climate of the country is warm or hot year-round. 

Another example would be ‘people from X country eat only spicy food.’ This statement would be classified most likley as racist, even if more races of people lived in that country. 

i believe that the statement is a bit of a blanket/umbrella one. Perhaps the country is known for its spicy couisine. This doesn’t mean every single person would eat it, especially not every single day, 3 times a day. 

What bothers me with the situation above is that, in writing, we have to explain that perhaps ‘the majority in country X eats spicy food,’ or that ‘the cuisine in country X is known for its spiciness,’ or else we’re seen as uneducated ignorants.

Another example is talking ‘bad’ about former employers. Why? If the former employer treated you bad, you should be able to ring the alarm and let others know about it. Maybe, indeed, you were not a good match for that company and another person is. If they hear you speak badly about the firm, they might lose on getting the job they really wanted.

i wonder how often would this be the case, though? Realistically speaking, if your boss treated you badly, there’s no saying they won’t treat others the same manner. If you don’t speak up, their shitty behaviour won’t stop. 

A person acting shitty towards those helping him/her run the business doesn’t really deserve to be successful in this endeavour. I stringly believe mistreated employees have to speak up. The mistreatment isn’t directed at a single person, but everyone keeping the business running -just look at the fast fashion industry.

This is it from me, for now, on this topic. See you next time!

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello everyone!

DISCLAIMER: This post was started before the illegal invasion of Ukraine happened. I'm aware of that situation. I choose to post this entry because we all want and need a form of escapism from reality. It doesn't mean we don't care about what happens out there. 

Even if you live in a country without an actual conflict going on, or generally thought of as safe to travel to, you might have other issues. They could relate to money, family, mental or physical, pets, or who knows what else. I do know that i, myself, watch videos and read blogs to escape from whatever troubles me. It's like a very short mini vacation. 

For now, i have nothing of importance to say about the situation in Ukraine. all i can say is that Romania receives refugees - either Ukrainians who want to be safe (mostly women and children, of course) and foreigners who went to Ukraine to work, travel, or to study. Talk about innocent people being in the wrong place at the wrong time, huh?  

Time management is important for everyone. This entry comes after several similar experiences with Anna at the same beauty clinic she goes to for several years now. 

I don’t want to talk about specific cosmetic procedures and problems some people have or get after. It’s your body, hopefully your money too, and you decide what you do with these. We don’t judge these aspects here. 

As you may know, each intervention has a certain duration. In most cases the doctor needs to also prepare the patient for what will happen. The preparation may involve:
    ◦    Drawing on the face
    ◦    Seeing what needs to be done 
    ◦    Presenting the various solutions available 
    ◦    Applying a numbing product
    ◦    Waiting for it to show effects 

Only after all of these the actual procedure is done. 

I won’t name the beauty clinic because the doctor has very good results and isn’t trying to make more money off of people. 

However, the clinic’s secretary is a bit annoying. She speaks quite a lot, seems to not be paying attention to anything, or even has any idea of what the services of the clinic are, or how it should operate. Additionally, she schedules the patients quite close one to the next, as far as hours go. She might have been instructed so by the doctor herself, I don’t know for sure. 

I believe the reason is that the doc may think that while someone waits with the anaesthetic on, she can proceed with the previous patient. And I understand this thinking, except it doesn’t always work out as seamlessly as it sounds. 

The reason is rather easy to figure out: the time it takes for each procedure. Some can last for 30 minutes, others for 1.5 hours and even 3. If you make a person come 1,5 hours before a long intervention ends, that person will waste time and not be happy. Plus, the doctor is also human and may need to eat, use the restroom, get a bit of a break, talk with the staff, etc. 

Today, Anna had an appointment at 5 pm. We got there on time. Some 5 minutes later, another chick comes, and says she also has an appointment at 5pm, with the same doctor, just some other intervention than Anna. This chick was called in first. Anna’s turn was 30 minutes later. 

As I type this, it’s already 6 pm and she’s still waiting for the doctor to go to the procedure Anna asked for. 

I don’t think this is acceptable considering that at times, there are even more patients in this small clinic with barely any seats for everyone. The seats i saw, for patients to sit on while waiting, are:

• the one i was sitting on when i took the pics in this entry,
• the one partially seen in the image above,
• a couch on the ground floor, seating 2 or 3 people. 

Not to mention, the interventions are pricey - well, OK, here they're a bit cheaper compared to other similar clinics, but still. 

And here i thought that I was bad at managing my time and other resources. It seems some businesses are worse than me. 

I honestly forgot if i ever wrote any entry on me starting a planner. I do remember (because i found it) that i wrote an update about it. You can read the update here. I used a planner for 4 years and a half in total. I do have another so called planner for this year, but it's mostly to help me realize when i post on my review site. 

In all honesty, what i used, can't be called a planner because i didn't make or write down plans in it. I mostly kept track of my sleeping hours, when i worked out or walked a longer distance than from home to the closest supermarket and back.  

Despite my procrastination and bad management skills, I still figure out a way to meet my deadlines while offering the best possible project. So, yea, I'm really disappointed in how bad this clinic manages their appointments and doesn't consider the time their clients has available. 

Ok, enough ranting and bragging for one entry. More next time! Bye~~~

(c) Charly Cross 2013 – present. all rights reserved.

Hello everyone... 

I didn't think i'd actually I'd come here to talk about this. Although, the whole point of my blog, this one, was to talk about this topic at least once. 

You see, in almost 40 years of being on this Earth, I did meet a decent share of people. Weird people. I feel I only met weird people. This made me NOT like being around people and instead live in a comfy bubble with my fiance. And you know what? it's not so bad. 

Weird comes in many different shapes and forms. there's one common point though: the type of weird I'm talking about, makes you feel drained, makes you question yourself (you generally shouldn't question yourself, but more about this later - i think), this weird doesn't respect you or your boundaries. This type of weird makes you live a toxic life. 

ok, ok. I'll jump into the meat of the topic because i don't want a longer intro than i need. There's no order to the signs or red flags, but if you see them, RUN! 

they write. a lot 

When a person writes a lot is not always a sign you should run. except for me it is, because I'm an introvert and i rarely can connect with a stranger and just be able to talk about everything under the sun. 

But, let me define this "a lot":

• long and VERY long messages (at least longer than you're used to)
• often - say several times per day if it's an email; or too many texts in a very short period of time
• at odd hours - or what you consider to be odd hours; this applies to text messages

Now, i heard that in some cultures, like in East Asia (South Korea for instance), sending many text messages in a short period of time it's just a sign of caring for the other person. They might think you're already in a relationship if they do this. if you find yourself seeing an East Asian* person who acts this way, you don't really need to run, just talk about it and see if they see you as their partner already. If you're looking or hoping for a relationship, then you probably just got lucky. 

However, if the person is not East Asian, but as we say, a Westerner, you might want to consider ghosting this person, hide, and run.  Why? because the majority of Westerners don't show affection through many and long messages or emails. We mostly use words and objects instead of actions and gestures in a more direct manner, whereas an East Asian person would use more subtle words and actions that could make a Westerner feel suffocated. 

*I have to say East Asian because I'm not familiar (in any shape or form) with the behavior of Asians from other regions of this large continent, sorry. I also want to mention that by East Asian i refer to those who grew up and live in this rather large area of Asia, because i have no idea if people of this descent that grew up in a different part of the world act the same or not. 

they tell you 'stuff' (too soon/fast)

The stuff i refer to here is inappropriate stuff. I'll give you some examples. 

a. If the person is of the opposite gender, and suddenly mentions yours or their relationship status, this could be a red flag and you should probably stop communicating with them. The 'relationship status mention' could be casual and direct "Oh, so do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" But it can also be indirect, but still sounding casual "So, what does your partner think of us talking?" 

Do i need to mention that if you can't trust your partner (if you have one) or if they can't trust you, the 2 of you probably shouldn't be in a relationship? It's true that people cheat. it's also true that once you've been cheated on, it's hard to trust a new person not to do the same. However, this is not the topic I want to talk about today. 

b. Another thing they could say is "i hope you won't tell me things like ...." This is reversed psychology and they actually hope and want you to tell them those things. Don't let yourself be manipulated like this! Nobody should tell you what you can say or not say. 

The only exception here is if you offended them or someone else without knowing/meaning to, and they're asking you to apologize.  

c. They could say "I love you" a bit too soon after the 2 of you met, say in less than a month. "I love you" has a lot of weight. Also, not everyone is comfortable hearing it. There is such a thing as "love at first sight," sure but i believe it's usually reciprocated. If you don't feel the same for the other person, perhaps you should run away. 

Now, you'll have to pay attention to the background of the person too. People living in different cultures will approach a new relationship in different ways. They also may perceive those from a different culture in a certain light (usually stereotypes), and I'm sure you do so too. Stereotyping is not ok, it's just what we're exposed to the most. if you're not searching for a partner, make this clear to the person from a different culture you just met. 

they don't understand hints

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. This is a long one to explain and can turn into a dangerous situation. I'll try and be as brief as possible. 

Clearly, we all want to be liked and be seen as good people. This makes us act nicer than usual towards those we just met. i call this "testing the waters" to see what kind of person the other one is.

However, sometimes we meet new people and we simply don't like them. We can't like everyone and not everyone will like us. This is normal life. Yet, the other person might actually like us, even if we don't like them. 

At a certain point, we realize we receive unwanted attention, but because we don't want to be the bad guy, we're trying to be diplomatic about it. This could be avoiding spending more than 2 minutes alone with them, making up excuses for leaving faster/not meeting up, trying to suggest to them to leave, and a bazillion other things. The result? they still linger around, making the situation awkward. By this point everyone else knows how you feel towards the new individual and how that individual feels towards you. 

Seeing that these hints don't have any effect, it's time to be more firm and clear about how things are. Tell them directly you're not interested and have someone else around as well, and have the 3rd wheel (so to speak) talk in your place. 

If this also doesn't work, perhaps simply ignoring them and not replying at all, might work. Depending on the situation, you might want to change the environment in which you met this pest. in other words, run and hide. 

they might talk about a single topic

Or something you aren’t interested in, and they might talk A LOT about it, to the point of repeating everything, several times.

Talking about a single or a limited number of topics can be a sign of some mental issue or illness - i forgot the correct term, sorry. Here I mean people who are on the autistic or Asperger's spectrum, have Dawn syndrome, and a few others. 

Being involved with such a person can be difficult without the proper training or exposure. Not even all therapists can treat/counsel these individuals.

This is a touchy/sensitive topic to talk about, and again, this entry is not the right one for it. i also don't have the proper knowledge to write about it. at least not for now. i want to make it clear that I'm not looking down on these individuals, as i think I'm also on the Asperger's spectrum.

What I'm trying to say is that dealing with such individuals requires certain patience and empathy. Not everyone has these, hence the Mother Theresa mention. I've seen 'normal' people getting quite annoyed with someone who mentioned they're autistic. The annoyance came from how the autistic person was talking about a certain topic, not because of the "autism mention" itself. i hope this makes sense? 

If you feel or know that you can get easily annoyed by certain mentions or behaviors, and you notice them in someone you just met, it could be best if you stayed away from them. 

they don't say they're sorry

not even half-assed when they should. 

Let's say they say something offensive that is not directed at you. Or they could say something that disturbs you a great deal. This could be any kind of insult, sexist, racist, or homophobic words/opinions. I'm not here to teach you WHY such language/behavior is NOT OK. If you use such language, you stink, and I don't want you reading my blog. 

You let them know how you feel about what they said, why isn't ok, while trying to be as clear as possible. 

Except, they don't (or refuse to) understand, and as such, they don't say "I'm sorry" but instead they search for excuses and explanations. This is NOT OK. 

Furthermore, they might add more offensive/upsetting statements or might try to turn the tables around, in an attempt to blame YOU for feeling the way you do. Such "explanations" could be anything really, and they usully start with "OH, but you don't know XYZ from my past."

In this regard that person is correct: you are highly likely that you don't know XYZ from their past. Yet, it is THAT PERSON'S job to overcome whatever injustice they faced and be a better individual, teach others that what happened was not acceptable. The "others" in "teaching others" includes those who performed the unjust act, if they didn't die. 

The person who does something wrong towards another, should at the very least apologize. If they do not, they're a bad person, a monster. 

This song says quite a lot of the stuff i mentioned above. So i thought it's relevant. You should look up the lyrics and translation as well, if you can't understand what they say. 

Some Sort of a Conclusion

The above are the main red flags about a person that you should stay as far as possible from. Most of these come from my personal experiences with "weird" people over the years. These signs are for both genders. 

The worst is that usually, it's rather difficult to get rid of. Some might become obsessed and turn into stalkers. Stalkers are some of the most dangerous kinds of individuals out there.  

And on a similar note, being a Stan is not a cool thing. Look up the video "Stan" by Eminem. Still relatively relevant for this topic. 

Have a lovely February! 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hi all!

Let's continue with Blogmas in January. Well, if you were living in Russia, you'd be celebrating Christmas in January, actually. At least there's that, i suppose. 

Once again I'll batch a few days together, mostly because i failed to post it in December, as I mentioned in the previous post. 

Day 12

On the 12th day, we were expected to mention or make a list of our favorite Christmas movies. 

Just like with seasonal music or the wreath, I'm not a fan of such movies. 

I can't remember if we watched any movie in December. I did watch Star Trek The Next Generation. And yes, I'm more of a Trekkie, and definitely not a fan of Star Wars, sorry. :( Currently, I'm watching the Deep Space Nine series. 

Day 13

On this day, we once again had the opportunity to earn a premium or business paid account for our blog or site. 

This time I participated and ....

I actually won!!!! YAAAAAY!!!!! I'm really happy about it! :D 

Nothing more to talk about for this day. 

Day 14

Today's challenge was related to the food we planned for Christmas. If you remember from last year, i may have mentioned we usually have traditional foods we eat for certain celebrations. This link may refresh your memory.

One of the dishes you can expect to see Salad a la Russe. While the recipe is the same year after year, the design will always be different. This is the recipe I use, in case you haven't seen it yet. 

I made probably 3 plates and a casseroles of salad. The casserole went to Anna's parents, as her mother was sick and couldn't stand or sit for too long. As such, we offered to make the salad for them. 

These are most of the plates i decorated for this Christmas. I'm surprised to see just how clear and crisp the image and colors are. Well, If I'm not mistaken, these were taken with my new iPhone 8, so maybe this is why. 

For this salad, the carrots and almost everything should be cooked or pickled, including the carrots and pieces of red bell pepper. My carrots are boiled, and the peppers are raw. The salad is better with these 2 decor pieces as pickled. 

As a side note, the last image is the salad for Anna's parents.

Day 15

 I don't think I have much to report for this day. The admins of the platform said today's international tea day. or something along these lines. 

They asked if we prefer tea or coffee. Well, i prefer coffee, though I drink quite a bit of tea as well. If you want to know more about tea in Romania, this link can help you out. 

Day 16

On this day, we're supposed to go to the Christmas market. Last year we didn't have one. This year we did something organized, but it was disappointing. 

For starters, there was an entry fee, we needed proof of being vaccinated, to wear the mask, and it was MUCH smaller. Furthermore, it didn't even really have the usual stands with traditional Christmas food. 

And there was also no Kurtos Kalacz, or chimney cake, either. 

Here are some of the pictures I took at the event: 

Actually, it seems i lost the pictures from the actual market. These stalls are an "unofficial event" taking place in the heart of the city, in Union Square. 

The picture with a few chimney cakes being cooked, is from a several-year-old event happening at yet a different location. 

This year, we didn't buy anything from the Christmas market nor from these vendors. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.