I decided to make this entry as part of blogmas 2022. The challenge is for day 8 and it consists of some gift ideas. There are many ways of making a person happy, but not many think of making animals happy. I wish this would change.
Last year in the summer, my partner decided to take a walk in Carol Park. I wrote about it in this entry, if you're curious. So, we go in the park, on a certain side path. As we walk, we see a white and orange kitty. As we approach, we see the kitty has more brothers. They also had some food and water container that other people filled. We also ran to the store and bought some kitten food. which they ate.
The white and orange kitty had a white/black brother, a 3 colored sister, an all-orange and stripy sister (we first thought it was a boy), and 3 all-black brothers. We first saw just 1 of the black cats. Then, we saw the 2nd one after some time. And yet, after some more weeks, a 3rd fully-black cat cam. We only realized this because all of them were present at the same time.
In these 2 pictures, we can only see 3 of the cat brothers, eating well. They were hungry even though they had quite a bit of food. brought to them by other people.
In some ways, they were lucky because several people were passing by daily to feed them and to give them water.
The first cat that got a family
The first cat that wanted and found a family is the one that appeared in front of us, the white and orange one. he's not seen in the pics above, but below.
The image is blurry, sadly. I believe this is an iPhone 4 picture. He was maybe 2 or 3 months old at the time, and a bit on the skinny side.
When we saw him that evening when he got home, he appeared not to feel very well. Clearly, thinking he was sick, we decided we take him home, regardless of the fact that we had no bag or cat carrier on us.
It didn't matter, because he acted sick all the way to home. Once we 'quarantined' him, he sprang back to life. He was eating, and drinking, and i think he even used the litter box right away.
We didn't think we can keep him, and personally, i didn't feel much attachment towards him. :( We knew someone who wanted a cat for some time, and we also wanted to rescue as many of his brothers as possible. So, Whuay went to another home where there were no other cats to compete for human attention.
He did spend some time with us, getting used to life indoors which seemed to be all he ever wanted. I say this because once at home, he started exploring the "quarantine" room right awaya and wanting to make friends with our older cats, Whiskey and Mickey.
As far as we know, he's doing fine, he's loved, and this is what matters. I do miss him now that i looked at the pics i have of him.
The 2nd cat getting a family
The second cat finding a family is the white and black one seen in the first image. This is because we still went every other day to give the kitties water and food. That summer was brutal, with very high temperatures.
His current name is Churro, but when we first saw him, we called him Oreo because of his color combination.
I have basically 2 memories of this kitty in the park, though we saw him more often than that. One time, when we went to feed them, he was up on the tree, trying to sharpen his claws. We knew he is a very playful fella right then and there. He was absolutely adorable.
The other memory i have of him from the park is from one evening when 2 young girls came to feed the kitties. However, this is not all they did: they also left with this kitty but said they'd bring him back.
Why did they take him, you ask? it's because they wanted to play with him in a safer environment. They couldn't keep him though, as it was their parents who had the last word on the matter.
We got quite mad with the girls because they gave Churro, at the time Oreo, fake hopes of a home. :( One of the next times we went to feed the kitties, only Churro/Oreo was there, all alone. He looked sad and lonely. We didn't think twice about it, we just grabbed him and went home with him, after leaving food for his brothers.
Look how handsome he is! Sadly, the red bow didn't last for long, but it sure fitted him. However, the surprized face expression persists, and he's just amazing!
The 3rd cat coming home with us
The 3rd cat that came home with us is probably the black one in the first image. Why do i say probably? Because they were a total of 3 black cat brothers! proof below! The black cat we first saw got named Shadow, and then all the black kitties received the same name because we couldn't tell them apart.
There are 2 things i need to mention:
we didn't know there are 3 black cats from the start
the 3rd cat didn't come home last year like his brothers, but this year
I forgot how many of the kitties we saw the very first time we went. I do remember that we were surprised to see a completely black cat among the others. Then, one evening, we saw a 2nd completely black cat. Again, we were surprised and felt as if someone played a trick on us.
But, then! a 3RD FULLY BLACK kitty appeared from nowhere! They were there all 3 at once, as seen in the pic above, and all of them were boys. One of them was more scared of us than the others, and another one more friendly.
Another memory i have regarding these black brothers is that one time, one evening, just 1 of them was there out of all the remaining brothers. Not only this but the one that came to eat was one of the friendlier black brothers. So, i managed to touch him and cuddle him.
I believe that was the evening he followed us through the park, almost close to the entry point we use. He was also crying/meowing and looking sad. T_T We were certain he wanted to come home with us. We ... just ... thought we couldn't deal with so many cats. We felt really bad and sorry we didn't take him with us that day.
Almost a year passed by. During these months we continued to take food to the kitties. however, sometime in spring, they disappeared. The area where they were being fed was demolished further - it used to be a restaurant type of location that caught fire at some point.
This led the kitties to scatter, we think, or perhaps someone took 2 of the remaining cats, leaving the 3 black brothers. Then, not even they came to being fed anymore. So, we stopped going seeing that there were no more cats to feed.
But life is twisted and at the beginning of September '22 we went again just on a whim. And we found Shadow! He recognized us by our voices and came to eat and drink. The next day we went with the cat cage in tow, hoping to find and catch him. And we were lucky! he was very easy to "catch" and now he has a furreverr home and he adapted VERY well to his new environment.
In the middle, is Scotch the dog that i haven't introduced yet. We currently have 4 cats, a dog, and a crow. Life is stressful with so many pets, but we are very happy to have rescued 3 kitties out of maybe a total of 7 brothers.
As you can see from the title, the title of this little publication is "almanah femeia 1980 supliment."
I took pictures of each page of the tiny magazine. There's just one page missing: the very last cover. I forgot why I didn't take a picture of that page. I may add it at a later time.
I took these pictures because i haven't seen this magazine supplement anywhere in any used-books store. I wanted more people to have access to the ideas offered in it.
The creations also get explanations and patterns that can help you re-create the items. Should you want any explanation translated to English, you should post your request here. I may add new entries for each translation and whatever else is needed.
tiredness through the roof, I dream of a world others do not know exists.
long blonde locks can soothe my soul in times of crisis.
You'll never find a more supportive and kind person in your life.
Their generosity is limitless, and so is their patience.
one thing they can't do, nor anyone else can is
To take your pain away.
Sometimes i feel like i'm in a dream.
The pain reminds me that all this is real.
Buddhist beliefs don't ring with me, but it doesn't mean they're not real.
Mental wellbeing is overlooked and not taken seriously.
If you feel in a dark spot, at the bottom of the bottle or the barrel,
or even at the bottom of the Eye of London, hang in there.
It can't rain forever, and things will soon change.
We're stronger than we think.
All we need to keep on going is just one person.
Not more. one person who believes and supports us and what we do.
anyone else is irrelevant.
Perhaps normal folks don't have breakdowns.
Maybe this makes us not be normal.
But we shouldn't care: we're all unique.
no, not snowflakes. unique.
Is there something wrong with you?
Do you want to change and improve it?
that's fantastic. if not, that's fine.
Back in the dark bottom. not seeing anyone around. feeling all alone.
cold and wet. unable to move a muscle or articulate a single word.
my throat is scorching dry, unable to think of speak.
plop! ... plop! ... plop! ...
water drips in the distance.
too far for either of us to reach it.
500 lashes on the back mean nothing at this point.
they minimize the pain in the chest.
I'm sharing these images because i'm wondering why did they stop printing cards with such pretty art?!
Unfortunately, i don't have all the court cards from both decks. I took pictures of the cards i found, and i'm sharing them with the world. There was only one ace too. The aces also used to have really nice art back in those days.
... it's that you don't want to do it. There's a difference there.
You probably wonder what's this title all about, though it should be self-explanatory. Yet, i need to rant and get angry at certain people and at myself as well, and my blog is the best place and way to do this.
It's less damaging and maybe, just maybe .... maybe?
someone [including myself] will understand this, and stop saying "i can't" and just admit you don't *fducking* want to do whatever there must be done.
rollback film to what started this rant
Except there's no film to roll back, and i have to explain the situation. if you don't want to read the backstory, feel free to scroll down to the next title.
This past week [10 to 16 of july 2022] we went out on a very hot day for some beauty treatment. Seeing it was so hot, we decided to have some ice cream, though all we wanted was to drink something.
We found this *NEW* ice cream place uptown that used a chimney cake, aka Kürtőskalács, as the cone for the ice cream. There aren't many flavors of ice cream to choose from, but their names were really cool: fashion vibe or strawberry vibe. This is what they look like:
As you can (or maybe not so much), the fashion one (on the right), is actually cocoa ice cream with pieces of chocolate, and with the chimney cake covered in cocoa powder. That one was my ice cream. The other one was anna’s and she didn’t want to eat it right away.
Taking it home was troublesome for this Vibe place didn’t have anything to carry the ice cream in. Luckily, the area has plenty of other options for ice creams and many have containers for takeout.
So, we went to the nearest one, and I asked for one such container. Not for free, mind you. And the cashier says “oh, sorry, I don’t have containers!” They were piled RIGHT behind her! Everyone could see them!
I had to point out that my ice cream was melting and making a mess in her store. That was when she decided to ask her supervisor what to do. This situation turned my into THAT customer that says "can i speak with a manager? :) "
‘Can’t’ - reserved for very few instances
1. PTSD or phobias
These are mental health issues that are difficult to ’cure’ or overcome. They simply incapacitate the sufferer from doing whatever caused them to suffer in the first place.
Not everyone might suffer to the same degree from the same issue. For instance, I can’t watch scenes with folks trapped in tight spaces: I feel as if I am in their shoes and I start panicking and hyperventilating. Others in the same situation as me might have a different reaction.
2. Lack of knowledge
Let's say, you just start learning something new just for fun, or for whatever reason. Someone asks you to help them with a project in your new area of study. All sounds nice, and they even offer to pay for your service.
The problem is when they ask for help on something you didn't get to study yet or is a bit too difficult for you to understand.
3. Other plans
Let's say you might plan on meeting with your friends a few days in advance, but then you forget or something else comes up that needs your urgent attention.
In such a case, you clearly have to say "I can't, something else came up that is more important." You don't really need to explain more than this unless it's a close friend.
4. You're simply unable to do something
This usually applies to those with a disability. Let's assume you have to climb some stairs, but you're bound to a wheelchair and there's no ramp available. Sadly, there still are places in such a state. It's not as if you're going to crawl to wherever the stairs go.
It also applies to doing something that goes against your beliefs. This can be related to consuming alcohol, smoking (anything), sleeping with someone to whom you're not married, etc, etc.
Should any of these be the case, it's PERFECTLY fine and acceptable to say "I can't" and you could explain why as well unless it's visually noticeable.
It’s half-hour to midnight as i start typing this. I wrote several entries before, related more or less to this topic here and here.
Self-love is difficult. I should know because for the longest time i felt ‘i wasn’t enough.’ Enough what, you say? Enough anything. Especially not good enough.
i know im not the only one feeling this way. Last year i finally accepted i needed help to get out of the dark spot i was in. This was also difficult for me to accept.
What helped me to finally accept this was Anna. Her support was and still is beyond what words can describe. She’s a blessing to me.
So, i started ‘therapy’ and treatment, at first for anxiety. The treatment for depression started some 3 months later. I feel MUCH better. The results started to manifest some 3 weeks into the treatment.
I'm not fully cured or fixed. I don’t know if i ever will, but who knows. I hope i'm getting there or that i'm on the right path.
It’s hard to love thyself when you feel you’re not enough. like i said, I constantly felt this way, even before i showed no signs of bad anxiety or depression. I used to doubt myself, not feel confident enough when going out, and always feel like an impostor even when i was going to buy a bottle of soda.
The few times i felt better when out and about, was when i was wearing what i perceived as "unusual" clothes. This was related to what the majority wears: office clothing, casual, smart/casual, and sports.
So, my sense of "unusual" is something that could be remotely associated with subcultures, like for instance goths or rockers. i also like the avant-garde, urban decay, and futuristic styles.
At home, the "not enough"/impostor feeling, weirdly enough, made me procrastinate. Did i know this doesn't help with anything at all? Logically, yes, of course, i did. However, knowing this didn't and doesn't magically motivate me to become (pro)active.
At night, i used to have many dark thoughts as well as heavy guilt that was not mine to bear. These dark thoughts and guilt, i don't want to talk about. At least not now. i hope i never will be forced to talk about them.
How can a person riddled with dark thoughts and guilt, love themselves? I have no idea, because i couldn't.
I eventually got rid of these thoughts and guilt through prayer. I prayed with a lot of hope and pain. That evening i felt a tall dark human-like figure entering the bedroom and sitting on my bed. i didn't feel any evilness from it, just calmness.
Like a black hole, it sucked all those thoughts away. They never returned, or at least not to that extent. But this was still pretty far from ending everything. The scars are still there. At least one wound didn't completely heal. i don't know if it will ever.
it took some time for me to admit this and to accept the treatment. But everything changed once i did.
The antidepressant made me not care whether i'm enough or not. I don't feel like an impostor anymore, and i feel more self-secure about everything. Well, maybe not about every little thing, but, you know, most things.
Even more important than this, i can laugh! I can laugh so much more easily. Before the treatment, laughing was some sort of luxury. Everyone could do it but me. And it feels natural, normal ... GOOD!
So, what does self-love have to do with anything? it does. Almost everything, actually. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. How? if you don't love yourself, or take care of yourself, you can't take care of those who you say you love.
Why? Because you'll stretch yourself left, right, up, and down, again and again. At a certain moment, you'll stretch too much and snap, if you're unlucky. I was unlucky in '16 but we don't talk about that year this way.
When you take care of yourself, you won't stretch yourself out to the breaking point. You have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy for your mental wellbeing. Not stretching yourself too much means your chances of snapping are much lower. This means you can be around for those who you love and who love you back, for longer.
Self-forgiveness is an important part of self love. It’s well known that nobody can criticise you more than you can. We often have the impression that we made some huge and horrible mistakes regarding some small stuff. Others might say otherwise if you were to ask them.
And you know what? They may be correct at least some 99% of times. So, if there arevery high chances for them to forgive you, why don’t YOU try to firgive yourself? It’s NOT your fault for what happened. Surely you did your best with the tools and knowledge you had. Or you simply didn’t know any better.
You need to understand that we are just humans and all we can do is trying our best. When we make mistakes, we can apologize, learn from them, and try to fix them.
This post was written on different days, so now, when I post it I’m not sure what was the original point I wanted to reach. I do hope it will be of some help for some of you out there.
I don't know how many of you remember that last year I did something called Blog-March. There aren't many entries to check out, sadly. This year, I decided not to participate anymore.
In this entry, i mentioned i made a green skirt, perfect for Saint Patrick's day, celebrated on March 17th. I believe I also mentioned i might share how I made it and so on. Well, today is the day this will happen. And as it happens, it is now May that i finally manage to gather my thoughts related to this entry and complete it.
Below, you'll see what the skirt is supposed to look like, according to the magazine. The skirt has 2 front panels, 2 back panels, pockets, a waist band, as well as panels for the buttons and button holes.
Skirt 107 from Burda Moden 5/1996
As you can see, Burda is rating the difficulty of the designs it shares. I think the rating is from 1 to 4 or 5 dots. This skirt has a rating of 2 dots, making it relatively easy to make. For those confused, in the picture with the model sitting, 106 represents a body. The skirt has the number 107.
The difficult part is the pockets. I believe there's a sewing lesson with how these pockets must be done. Let's just say i simplified my life by not using any pockets initially. I only added them last month, but i'll talk about that later.
The sizes of the skirt are European 36 through 44, where 36 is a Small and 44 is a Medium? In Burda, 44 is the smallest size for the garments dedicated to "Plus Sizes." According to the measurements in Burda, i'm size 44 and so this is the one i traced and made.
It seems i have no picture taken of the traced pattern, just this copy i made in order to make a patchwork skirt. This is what i'm currently working on. One of the projects.
The skirt is supposed to be 80 cm long. I don't know why i remember adding a few more centimeters to this, but i'm not sure i did.
As far as fabric goes, i had this green fabric i found at the dumpster. It was a neighbor who got rid of several lengths of various types of fabrics. The colors and overall design also differed.
In the next pictures, i'll share, you'll see the color changing. This is because i was working in the evening, and my light was crap.
I believe the weave is a damask. I'm not sure what the fiber is. The burn test indicates cotton or similar, as it smells like burned paper. It is relatively heavy, so it hangs nicely.
However, i didn't have quite enough fabric to make the skirt as it was indicated, or perhaps I wanted to make things a bit easier on me. I forgot. This means i cut the back part on the fold, giving me one less seam to sew.
Cutting the panels and sewing them together was very easy, and nothing to write home about. The next step i took was to attach the panels for the buttons and their respective holes.
This was also pretty easy: I sewed pretty sides together, then i sewed by hand on the back (i think). This way, the raw edges were enclosed in the button bands. The next step i took, was to install the waistband. I redid the process, though i do regret not reinforcing in any way the waistband.
Then i had to hem the skirt. i made some sort of maybe bias? tape out of an underskirt i somehow i also found at the dumpster. The original item had nearly the same shade of green as the skirt, as you can see in the next picture.
Buttons and Closure
The skirt is supposed to have real buttons down the front, however due to my fancy-looking fabric, i didn't think this would be the best choice especially since the buttonholes had to be done in the fabric. My next option was to install a zipper, but i'm not that good in this department and i wasn't thrilled by this idea either.
A brilliant idea came to me when i realized i can use snap buttons hidden by fabric-covered but fake buttons. I had some on an old silk jacket, so i undid one of those to see how they're made. I noticed that it had 2 layers of material, one the size of the button and the other one, larger. I then copied the fabric outline onto paper, to make patterns.
Once i had the patterns, i cut out the fabric, and i started covering my buttons. I luckily had some old, ugly, blue buttons that have the same size as the original.
The first step was to stitch a simple row around the edge of the fabric, put the smaller piece on top, then the button, and then pull the thread to close the fabric like a really small sack. The last steps would be to secure the fabric around the button with a few extra stitches and then to attach the new button to the skirt.
Refer to the next pictures for a better mental image regarding this process, along with a comparison to the original button.
It would probably have been easier if, for the smaller pieces, i would have drawn circles directly with the button, but the idea just occured to me now (more than a year after i completed the process).
For the snap closure, i had to go to the haberdashery to buy the snaps. Luckily, i found and they were affordable. They’re the same diameter as the buttons. I sewed the snaps first, then the fake buttons on top and I really like the result! The swish! factor is 'chef’s kiss' 😗
In this picture above you can see the hem of the skirt on the inside. That green band used to be some petticoat maybe? but it couldn't be used anymore - i forgot why. So i cut strips of some 7 cm? (3 inches? about?) and i sewed them together, to form a VERY long ribbon.
I know for sure i didn't cut the fabric on the bias but on the grain line. Then, the very long ribbon i sewed by machine to the very (not even) edge of the skirt, and then i sewed it by hand to hide ALL raw fabric edges. The best part about doing this is that i was able to more or less even out the skirt's hem and the result is rather professional looking - if you ask me.
This year (2022) I decided I wanted pockets in this skirt even if the fabric is fancy-looking. Look, pockets are useful even in a fancy-looking garment, ok? for this, I had to take the easiest route, and that was to open the seams of the skirt. Look it up all you want: seam pockets are the easiest to make, even in already bought garments.
However, this is will require an entry of its own. This one already became too long. What i want to say is that i really like the result and i think it looks BETTER than in the Burda sewing magazine.
This entry will be different compared to most of the ones i shared here. Through this post, you'll get to know me better. As the title suggests, I'll be sharing some memories i have from my early years in this world.
There are many things I remember since I was a child. I’m not sure which memory is the oldest. I want to write these down so I may still remember them.
One of the earliest is of my grandma on my dad’s side, holding me and one of my older cousins. It’s possible I was maybe older than 6 months old at the time. I remember my cousin was reaching out towards me to give me a kiss. All I remember is that I didn’t want to be kissed and I hid my face in my grandma’s chest. It is also possible I also started crying. There is at least 1 picture of that time. Now, both grandma and that cousin are dead. He actually died drowned in a lake probably a few months later than this picture. I also vaguely remember going to a part of his funeral. I remember a generally dark room, lots of people, and him in his coffin, surrounded by lit candles. I didn’t understand what was happening for sure.
When I was 3 years old, my aunt gave birth to another son. I was at the countryside, where my paternal grandparents lived. She brought her new born so that they would meet him. This time around, my new cousin being a baby, he needed to sleep a lot. My aunt and grandma would sit with their legs stretched out, and put the baby on their legs, while trying to rotate the legs from left to right and back. The motion was comforting for the babies back then as we didn’t have any other special crib.
When the baby would fall asleep, the person could slowly separate their legs, and the baby would not realize they’re on the bed. I realized that the motion is pretty easy to perform and so I asked if I could do it. I was allowed to do it, though I’m sure I was supervised. I also remember that despite me being 3 years old, I was still being put to sleep the same way. I remember I liked it so much, I was asking for it, until I was older and too long compared to the legs of the person I was asking.
Speaking of the countryside, many households have their toilet outside in the yard. I can’t remember exactly what type of toilet my paternal grandparents used to have. This is the outdoors toilet my maternal grandparents used to have until recently.
No, they didn't replace it with a modern toilet, just this construction got a bit of a revamp. Out of all my grandparents, just my mom's dad is still barely alive at 90-something years old.
Stick around for more stories coming up in the future.
Life is a journey. Or so I have been told. ObscureJourney is a blog about My life, the things I experience and learn. I hope I can learn from my mistakes. The blog used to known as "TheOwnerTravelsTo" and i had a separate blog called "CookingMyExperience".
The purpose of obscurejourney blog is to share positive ideas and experiences -hopefully- while showing you that you don't need a lot to be happy.
Not all failures mean the end of the world. They mean that whatever you were trying out wasn't meant to happen:
it wasn't your life's journey. We all have a particular life journey, even if we don't discover it from the start. But remember:
You will discover your path! Do you think I discovered mine? Perhaps I did, but I have yet to fully walk it. I know writing is part of it.
All content is created by me, with my silly mobile phone and its camera. Unless otherwise stated, the following applies:
All blog entries are written by me, Charly Cross -this is a pen name, unless mentioned otherwise.
Pictures are mine - especially if I signed them with a (c) and my blog's name (or former name of the blog).