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Good thrift store finds (summer 2020)

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello all!

As you guys know, this year started off on a meh side.. well, at first, Australia was on fire. Then the 'Rona happened, and now everyone is more or less confused about things. 

In Romania, the stores, restaurants, and other places have been closed for 2 months. Once they opened, we went shopping again. Of course, I feel like we went a bit overboard with some stuff, but let me tell you that 2 months is a long time. And some other places around the world were closed for longer, or had to reclose. And that's sad. Depending on when in time you read this, you most likely already know all this.

So, back to today's topic. If you don't already know, a thrift store is also called a second hand store; it's a shop where people buy items that have generally been already owned and used by other people. In some cases, the items can be in a 'like-new' condition, may even have the original tags attached, or simply broken or well-used, and i have no idea why they're being re-sold. 

With all of that to be kept in mind, you can find some really good deals or treasures in these shops, and today i want to brag about a few of the things we found. 

Two Pairs of Shoes

Personally, i try not to buy used shoes. I recently realized that i feel a bit icky about people's feet in general - especially touching them (i imagined a situation in which i'd have to give a pedicure to a stranger). My partner's feet are the only ones (besides my own) that i feel comfortable enough to touch. 

As you can see from these pictures, these shoes are in quite good or very good condition. The sandals look as if they haven't been worn at all. The shoes have been worn a little bit, but the top and the heels look very good. 

These shoes are not my purchases but given their condition and since they're under the same roof with me, I thought i'd share them. Let's just say these cost much less than what they would sell for on eBay or other sites. 

The pumps are leather all around, and this means that they can easily be repaired if needed. And if we find a good place that offers such services. 

I will not be wearing these as they don't fit me and aren't my style, but Anna will. And she says they're very comfortable and easy to walk in. 

Vintage Pyrex (approx. 1977)

These casseroles (?) are made by Pyrex England. This pattern is the JAJ Sunflower pattern. When looking it up, you'll see there are at least 2 designs called Sunflower. This is the "less popular" one? 

I blame the MadGirlsVintage youtube channel for this purchase. She has an impressive Pyrex collection, in generally 2 colors only: pink and aqua. She has a few pieces in other colors as well, as she tries to "complete" her sets. 

Well, I don't want to reach that level of collecting Pyrex items, but these 2 pieces made me pretty happy. They are also pretty useful in the kitchen as I actually cooked in them, in the oven. 

These Pyrex casseroles are round. I probably wouldn't have bought them if they were oblong. Most likely because I already have a heat-resistant glass oblong casserole, from the Borcam brand. 

Decorative Plate

I'm not sure what color you see, but this is a rather pale pink or pale red? I'm not sure. The plate itself is rather thick. Its design is clearly supposed to be in the style of the well known Spode Blue Room china sets. 

To be honest, I always liked those plates, I never knew who made them, nor did I know their price. I did think they are ancient plates and vases from China, which are very expensive. I just didn't know that companies reproduced and reinterpreted them. I was much younger, and now I do know those things. 

I purchased this plate because I thought it might be valuable for resale or something. Well, I don't plan on re-selling this plate any time soon, but use it instead. In any case, if I do decide to re-sell it, I would make a bit of money off of it. 

I want to buy more plates in this style. I'm hoping to find them in black or green, preferably blue. This pink doesn't look appealing enough to me. I find pink to be a difficult color. To match, wear, use...  In any case, I will have to see if I still find anything at all, as well as if I like the design and the color. 

These plates were sold in a book outlet. And I didn't buy any. I wish I did get a few. But In a way, I thought it's a bit ... hmmm ... offensive in a weird way.  

All in all, I'm happy with these finds. I will keep on searching for such treasures in the second-hand stores. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Going in the park. Take 2

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello everyone!

As you all know, Romania was in the State of Emergency, aka martial law for about 2 months, because of 'Rona. This meant we couldn't go out anywhere, especially not in the park. 

I talked in this post about exploring the Carol Park in Bucharest, last year. I posted pictures only of the Mausoleum, which is probably the best attraction in this park. 

However, as I was explaining there, there are a few other things that visitors should check out. Some visitors were checking them out, but I have a feeling they were all locals. And i think tourists and other foreigners should also check these features out. 

I found it on an alley on the right of the way leading up to the mausoleum. 

Don't ask me who this is, as I forgot, and I didn't take any closer picture or one in which his name would appear. Sorry about that. I guess he was a scientist of sorts.. I thought the statue was pretty impressive on its own, so i took a picture. 

There are many statues scattered across the city both in parks and outside of them. 

Walking a bit more, we found this fountain.

And we weren't even allowed to get close to it, sadly. The security came to chase us away right after I managed to snap this picture.  It's sad that the authorities don't try to take advantage of this gem of architecture, more: promote it, charge $1 to get close, something...  

They did let a newly wedded couple to take pictures there, and they weren't even alone.

I was impressed by it in person. Even the air around it seemed different, magical? for some weird reason. I can't explain it. 

These 3 photos belong together. I'm not sure what this abstract art is supposed to represent. They remind me of Communist mosaic art. It just has that feeling. You can see the mosaic dating to the Communist times from the fountains downtown in this post - the mosaic has been replaced as the fountains were revamped.

It's just sad that the pieces haven't been maintained because i find them stunning. Surely they'll be removed at some point, just like the art in the fountains has been removed during the renovation/revamping works. 

Sure the fountains and the park needed/need some love and upkeep and the Communist era is something most Romanians want to leave behind, in the 20th century. 

This was another water fountain it seems. It didn't work and I had to be quick in taking this picture because I didn't want to be chased by the security anymore. 

The design of this fountain is very interesting and doesn't really seem like something they would like more than 100 years back - asymmetry. 

I'm not sure what this asymmetry was meant to express, but it looks good and still quite fresh since we're used to seeing generally symmetrical buildings. If they're not symmetrical, they're somehow made to look like 1 piece. This is a puzzle: pieces of various sizes and shapes, taken from who knows where and made to fit together. 

How cool is that?!

As you can see from the image, this was taken in 2017. You can still find these gigantic pots at the main entrance of the Gradina Cismigiu. Yet again I'm not sure what these pots are meant to represent as I actually didn't pay attention to see if there's an explanation for them or not. 

Yes,  Gradina Cismigiu is a different park and not very close to Carol Park. I wanted to include these pots as an example: almost no matter which park you go to, you're likely to see something unique, even if boring at first, but that can be removed at a later point in time for a reason or another. 

I think there might be a 3rd entry as well, as I have yet to talk about the creatures you can see in these parks. 

See you soon! 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Little Update - May 18th, 2020

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello, readers!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I signed up for the Amazon affiliate program. 

Through this program, i can put links to various items/products i'm talking about in my blog entries, and IF you decide to make a purchase through the link i post, I'll earn a little reward, but you will not be charged extra.

All entries in which i will use these affiliate links will have the following disclaimer, somewhere at the top of the entry: 

DISCLAIMER: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. I used these affiliate links to give you the option to check the book out, for yourself, if you so wish, through a well-trusted seller. While I will be very glad if you buy any of the linked items, the decision to do so or not, belongs to you. Thank you for reading!  

Nobody is forced to buy anything if they don't want to, if they feel it's too expensive, or whatever other reason. 

While i did sign up today, I have to wait for approval - 180 days. 

For now, this site only makes money through the copyrights, and so far i have yet to see a single physical euro/dollar, as i didn't reach the minimum allowed for withdrawal. in fact, i'm very far from that. 

On my site with reviews, BeingObscure.com, i'm even farther from that goal, as it barely starts to pick up views. 

I want to be as transparent with everyone, as i am able to. i won't disclose figures, as i believe that's against some rules somewhere. i also don't want to make people feel bad - i make so little money, they HAVE to help out, or they make so little compared to me, that i'm greedy. 

Again, if you like the items i link to, feel free to buy, not buy, seek alternatives. 

I want to point out that i will only link to items, if they somehow relate to the entry. I also added links to some of my past entries, with the disclaimer in place. 

Little Update - May 18th, 2020

If you stayed with me so far, thank you! 

If you decide to buy through my links, thank you again! 

Soon i hope to post a new recipe, more sewing stuff, and the second part of us visiting the Carol Park in Bucharest. In no particular order. 

Stay safe and see you soon!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Being a minimalist can be a bad idea in a crisis

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello! Don't take this post that seriously. Really don't. 

I am well aware I posted a few entries talking against consumerism: here - here - here

I basically was wrong in that post, at least to some extent, because we need to consume things in order to survive. 

I am against buying more than we need, I am against always buying the latest releases of anything, and against buying things simply because so-and-so promotes the item. 

Minimalism is the other extreme. There is a whole niche on youtube related to minimalism. 

I started writing this entry on the 18th day of the martial law instated in Romania. At this point, it is unclear when this "protectorate" will end. The other day they said after mid-May. we'll see.

I'm posting this a week before the martial law is supposed to ease.

The thing is, we're not allowed to go out without a pass - we can write it ourselves. who we are, where we go, why, carry the ID, and heaven forbid the paper is wrong. All the stores and malls are closed. Supermarkets, drugstores, emergency dentists, hospitals are the only operating "businesses." And also places like home renovation and pet stores. Other businesses that still operate, the post office, taxis, public transportation, delivery companies. If you need anything else, like clothes, craft supplies, you have to order online. if you have $$. 

Can you see how being a hoarder is now useful? Can you see how being a minimalist is not/was not a good idea? 

Living in a city is also not a good idea. But living in the countryside, in Romania, usually means no running water. See the image below, for a better understanding - seen first in this entry.

In any case, in the countryside, we'd be able to go out of the house, in the yard to attend to the animals, to the food we grow, to the toilet (as in most cases it's separated from the main house where we'd be living). 

As I was saying, as a minimalist, you're probably missing many things you wish you had. As a hoarder, you're probably feeling pretty secure you're not missing anything you might need. 

As a hoarder, you might have:

  • Enough food to last you at least a month
  • Enough cleaning supplies to last you through the lockdown
  • An excuse to use them all up, clean the space and become more of a minimalist
  • Various games to keep you busy and entertained
  • A variety of tools that you can use to learn a new skill or make the things you wanted but didn't have the time.

As a minimalist, you might have:

  • A lot of empty space in the house
  • Not enough food
  • Not enough supplies
  • Just computer or smartphone games
  • No tools for a new hobby
  • A hard time finding in the supermarket what you need
  • An excuse to go buy some things that occupy space, but are needed during an emergency situation
Taken on August 31st, 2019 by me.

Taken on August 31st, 2019 by me.

This "pandemic" taught me that: 

  • Minimalism is not for me
  • Hoarding is not that bad - just make sure not to go out of control
  • You can be more sustainable as a hoarder as you have more items in the house to reuse and repurpose, and you dispose of fewer things, overall. 

Now, these are just some observations. I'm not attacking or praising any lifestyle or choices. 

You might hoard lots of plates and cups, but may have just 4 pairs of shoes and 5 pairs of jeans. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. 

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Exploring Bucharest - Carol Park (Mausoleum)

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello. This is part 1. Part 2 will soon follow.

So with all this pandemic, scamdemic, going on and having to stay indoors, all we want is to go out. But we can't. 

This reminded me that last year, or so, we went to Carol Park in Bucharest, and I took LOTS of photos. You can read more about this park on its wikipedia page, which has decent info about it. 

So, in 2004, this public park was designated a historical monument, as it is currently 120 years old (it was created in 1900 by Édouard Redont). The park is also the place where the Mausoleum dedicated to the Unknown Soldier is found. The structure is pretty tall and probably is one most people in Bucharest would recognize. 

There are a few other attractions in the park, as you can read on the wiki page, but you can't really approach any of them. I don't think Romanians really know how to take advantage of their treasures. What a shame.

When we visited, on May 25, 2019, they were organizing a lights event on the steps leading up to the Mausoleum.

We were hoping to see the lights on, but we went there too early. When we got in the park, there didn't seem to be many people. But by the time we left, maybe an hour and a half later? There were many more people coming. 

In case you're wondering about the Mausoleum itself, You can't visit it. 

You can just go near it, take a few pictures, and this is it. There are guards there with guns, who make sure people don't go too close to the monument. 

I was mindful not to take pics of the guards, but this sign pretty much says "no tress passing." I'm not sure if we can go up to the sign or not as i didn't feel like trying my chances of getting shot. I'm fairly certain the guards would have tried to stop me verbally first, then physically, and they'd most likely try to shoot as last resort. 

These signs are on both sides of the Mausoleum, and there's also an eternal flame burning. Or there is supposed to be one. I can't remember it, and it doesn't seem like I took a pic of it either. 

There are also 2 of these war guns on each side of the monument. At least 2. 

Curious as i am, i went up to them and took a closer look and touched them. Even snapped a picture of part of the control mechanism.

It was smelling like heavy machinery oil. I didn't try to operate this thing, though it was pretty fascinating to be close to it. I could almost hear it in my head. I could almost see soldiers around me, trying to operate it, defend their country, and trying their best to keep the enemy at bay. 

Of course, the area around the Mausoleum is no playground, and at least 1 plaque tells you so. Just in Romanian. 

Needless to say, there were plenty small children and their parents, running around and playing. 

The view from the monument is beautiful as well. Sadly, I only have something partial, taken from a side. It's still pretty though.

And only just now I realized that the Palace of the Parliament can be seen in the distance. In all fairness, this park is not that far from the Palace. 

Next entry about the park will have a few snippets with the various structures and attractions found in this park.

Stay tuned!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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5 things wrong with Easter!

Publié le par Charly C.

As I type this, Catholics celebrated Easter yesterday. Here, in the East of Europe, we'll celebrate on Sunday. 

The Jewish people started to celebrate/ovserve Passover/Pesach, on the 8th of April, in the evening. 

Muslims will start to celebrate or better said, observe Ramadan later in the month. However, Ramadan has nothing to do with Easter/Passover, as far as I know. I also don't know much about this holy month so, I can't talk about it. 

I only mentioned them because they say they believe in the same God. I don't know about that, I don't want to go into a discussion about this, not right now. I just wanted to acknowledge them. 

5 things wrong with Easter!

If you celebrate Easter, chances are you're going it wrong, if you do the following:

1. Eating chocolate

I have no idea where the idea to eat chocolate for Passover came from. It's probably something some chocolate maker decided to try and convince the public to do, in order to keep on selling chocolate. and it worked. 

I honestly don't have the power to search the reason why at this moment, but i might in the future. 

2. Rabbits ... eggs....Passover?

There is no connection between rabbits and Passover. Rabbits don't even lay eggs. I can't even say rabbits are a symbol for life.

Speaking of eggs, i have no idea why you have to search for them either. It is fun, yes, but this is a bitter-sweet celebration, for both Jews and Christians, if you ask me. 

If anything they could symbolize fertility because rabbits can give birth to many babies. Fertility has nothing to do with Passover. 

If you think the celebration is about rabbits or fertility, you might be celebrating Ostara instead, a Wiccan/Pagan celebration. In this case, you shouldn't call yourself a Christian, anymore, sorry. :(

3. Where is the Ressurection?

It appears that when Jesus was crucified, this happened during the Pesach observation. And Jesus was a Jew and he was killed by the Jewish priests, or something. Go read the Bible to know more. 

Please, don't go attack any Jewish person over this aspect. You better go thank them instead. Think about it: if Jesus didn't die for (y)our sins then, we'd be living in a different world. 

According to the Christian Bible, Jesus resurrected on the 3rd day.  And this is what you're supposed to celebrate, not the stupid rabbits. 

4. lambs are connected to Passover

Lambs are connected to this celebration because the Bible says (more or less) that Jesus was sacrificed like an (innocent) lamb. 

In fact, here in this Easterrn country, lamb is the traditional Passover meal/meat. It's rarely eaten outside of this celebration, and i don't why, and i don't mind it. 

5. "Easter" and not Passover or Resurrection

Easter is most likely related to Ostara, see above. 

As a Christian, you should probably use the term Resurrection for this celebration. If instead you want to be closer to the Jewish roots, you should use the term Passover. 

Jesus died to free us from sin. Passover commemorates the time the Jewish people spent in the desert, after being freed from slavery. This is the real connection between these holy days. And also the time at which Jesus was crucified, as mentioned earlier. 

5 things wrong with Easter!

If you're Catholic and already celebrated "Easter," try not to feel too bad about it. There's at least one reason this entry appeared today and not earlier: old habits die hard. HAd you read this before "Easter," your mood would have been ruined. 

Everyone has to stay at home, and most likely searching for chocolate eggs and eating them was the highlight of this nonsense going on, until we can go out again. 

You can't even cancel some things just because you just learned they're wrong. Lifestyle changes happen in time, if you want to change some things. Reading this article now, gives you 1 year to prepare for the next Passover in a more appropriate way. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Pumpkin soup -vegan!

Publié le par Charly C.

Is it Halloween? No, it's the lent before Pascha (or Easter, depending on who you're asking), and pumpkin soup is a vegan dish. We're supposed to eat vegan dishes during lent. 

It's also one of the easiest dishes I came across! And honestly, i have no idea why I waited for so long to make it! No, I do know why: I thought it's sweet, since I associate pumpkin with the pie. I was wrong, or at least this soup didn't turn out sweet. 

INGREDIENTS:

  • pumpkin
  • carrots
  • salt
  • powder black pepper
  • water (of course)
  • the tool to mash potatoes (in this case, pumpkin)

METHOD:

You need to peel the carrots and dice them. 

Throw the carrot cubes in a large enough pot, with water and salt. Place the pot on fire. Carrots cook slower than many other vegetables, hence it's ok to have them on the fire for a little longer.

Cut the pumpkin in smaller pieces, and remove the skin. I used my knife for this part. You might want to cut the pieces even smaller, to help with the cooking time.

Throw your smaller pumpkin pieces into the pot as well. Hopefully you can tell the pumpkin pieces in the pot are smaller than on the cutting board.

Turn the heat up, and make the whole think boil for some 20 minutes. You might want to adjust the time, depending on the quantity. You have to make sure the pumpkin is cooked. It has to be soft when you poke it with a fork.

Now you want to take the tool you use for mashing potatoes, and use it to mash the boiled carrots and pumpkin. 

When you're done, you might want to add more salt, and some pepper. You can serve hot or cold.

Bon appetit!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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How To Enlarge a Tshirt - DIY, Upcycling, Color-blocking

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello!

Today I have a solution for old clothes that don't fit anymore, and thus they sit in the closet, collecting dust. This solution will save your wallet, give a new life to both your clothes and wardrobe, and create a unique personal style, because YOU ARE unique!  

Most clothes that we buy come in standard sizes. They assume that if your hips measure 100cm, then perhaps your waist is around 80 or 90 cm. This is not always the case. they make clothes in standard proportion, but our bodies are not always proportionate. 

My body for instance, is as much as an hourglass as it can, hence there's a significant difference between my waist and bust, and waist and hips. However, if it wasn't for my chest, i could fit into tops that are sized Small because my rib cage is pretty small. 

So, back to topic. I had these 2 tshirts you can see below, but i can't wear them. The light green one is too transparent for my tastes :( The other one was extremely tight. 

How To Enlarge a Tshirt - DIY, Upcycling, Color-blocking

I liked the beige one more than the greenish one, so i wanted to wear that one But i had to be larger.

I measured it against a tshirt with a fit that I liked. In my case, i needed about 32cm more fabric.

The idea was to find strips of fabric that were 16cm wide, cut the side seam on the beige tshirt, and attach the strips to the new edges. 

This is where the greenish tshirt came in handy. It provided it side seam, already had hems, and was a very similar fabric to the other one. At least in weight -very light weight, and feel - very soft and comfortable, breathable. 

I measured, marked, cut and proceeded to sew. the pieces in. I measured 8cm on each side of the greenish top. Since it's already folded, 8x2=16, 16x2=32. 

I think i should have used straight strips of fabric, and not the seam sides of another tshirt with a different cut. It turns out, the greenish fabric was somehow loner than the beige tshirt. I had to create some pleats, to make them match. 

How To Enlarge a Tshirt - DIY, Upcycling, Color-blocking

When laid flat, the new tshirt looks off, but on me, it looks ok. 

So, to make it easier, the steps are:

1. find out how much room you need - measure your top and measure your body, and see the difference. OR, measure the smaller top against another one that fits good. substract the smaller from the bigger, and that's how much fabric you need (it's width). 

2. the easiest method would be to insert strips at the side seams. divide the width from above by 2, since there are 2 side seams in a top - the ones going from the armpits down to the waist and to the elbow/wrist. 

3. find a similar weight fabric or texture, and cut 2 strips equal in width - the value from point 2. Add some extra for seam allowance. Ideally, these strips would be the same length as your top, but feel free to be creative here. Don't forget about the hem on the lower part and at the sleeve, so they might need to be longer than your top. 

4. cut the side seams of your tshirt. 

5. sew the strips of fabric to the open edges of your top. And you're done!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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3 Romanian cakes

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello World! 

The title says it all: today i want to show you 3 Romanian cakes. These cakes can be found in any cake shop and even at the supermarket. Or this was my experience so far.

If you ever find yourself in Romania, I think you should try these cakes, but try and make sure you buy them from a cake shop: they taste better there, for some reason, compared to the ones in supermarkets. Ana Pan is where you'll probably find the best tasting cakes, at least in Bucharest. 

i should mention that we do have many other types of cakes available, but i'll present the ones that are specific to Romania, and not imported. 

Ok, enough rambling: on to the cakes!

 

3 Romanian cakes3 Romanian cakes

Cartof Cake

This is a pretty simple cake, and easy to recognize: it looks like a cocoa ball. It's also covered in cocoa powder and sits prettily on muffin-like baking paper. 

Besides cocoa, it also contains raisins, rum, butter, and of course sugar. It has a moist texture on the inside, though it looks dry on the outside. 

"Cartof" actually means "potato" in Romanian, so i suppose the cake is meant to look like a potato, but it's just a ball. 

You can eat it with a spook or fork, or even directly with your hands, but holding it through the paper it sits on. 

I vaguely remember seeing log-like cartof cake. Besides the shape, there's no other difference. 

3 Romanian cakes3 Romanian cakes

Savarina Cake

This cake is pretty similar to choux-a-la-creme, I guess. 

This cake has a pretty big chunk of sponge-like cake as the base. I think it is baked in a muffin shape, given that it has some ridges on the upper part.

As you can see, they partially cut a slice on the upper part which they cover with a red jelly. They then use a huge amount of syrup, and then they add a good dollop of whipped cream. 

Unlike the choux cake, this one doesn't have any other cream nor pudding inside. 

While it also comes on some paper or cake cardboard, it's best eaten with a teaspoon or fork, off a plate. Some place now sell them in a small but deep enough plastic container, to avoid the syrup leaking everywhere. 

3 Romanian cakes

Excelent Cake

This is another chocolate cake. This layered cake has generous amounts of chocolate cream layers.

This chocolate cream is made with butter, and thus it can be quite heavy for the stomach.  

It's best using some tool like a fork or teaspoon to eat it, though eating with the hands is also possible. This is because it is also served on that specific cake paper. 

The chocolate cream on top and bottom is a different type. The one on top is probably ganache. The slices are about as thick as 2 fingers. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Victim blaming needs to stop!

Publié le par Charly C.

!!!!Trigger warning!!!!!

Please, if you are a victim of any type of abuse, AND the subject triggers you, it's best you stop reading now. The main type of abuse I will touch on is ra-pe. :( oh, and i dislike censoring myself.

I will add a picture to separate more the main/triggering part of this entry from this intro/warning.

 This article was triggered by the attitude/words/comments of a Youtube user who will stay anonymous

The subject of the video was neutral, peaceful, related to some degree to fashion. The user agreed with the video, but it was because of a wrong mindset, as the title (might) suggest. But perhaps you should not read further?

The letterboxes in a VERY creepy looking, old building in the Old City Center.

The letterboxes in a VERY creepy looking, old building in the Old City Center.

It's -September 2019- scratch that. January 2020 is here now because i didn't have enough power to write this to the end.

I didn't post in a very long time. And I honestly I can't believe I have to type this title in 2019. 

The truth is that there are still people out there that STILL blame the victims for what happened to them. 

As you already read I was watching a video on why it's important to wear modest clothing. The subject was in the right spot, nothing wrong with it -from what I could tell, nothing triggering. The author was saying BOTH men and women should wear modest clothing. There was no judgement passed towards those who don't. I literally can't recall anything wrong with the video - I really want to make this clear.

The idea was that non modest clothing gives away information about your body that others can use against you, usually through insults and body shaming. the author continued to say that insults make people feel bad (you don't have to be a genius to know this), and feeling bad can easily lead to sadness or depression and other bad stuff. On the other hand, modest clothing hides these flaws, people doesn't have such info to use against you, and will have to rely on other stuff, for instance your knowledge, personality, personal belongings, skills, so on. 

The idea is that the body is very personal and intimate, and this is why only our partners usually sees us naked - we're most vulnerable when naked. Many of us feel vulnerable in front of the doctor as well, hence some hospitals have those robes/gowns, to protect our privacy as much as possible. 

 

Whiskey at the age of 9, judging me.

Whiskey at the age of 9, judging me.

The user who triggered me was someone who answered to a comment whose author simply said they noticed how differently they (she) were (was) treated when wearing modest clothing VS when wearing more revealing outfits. I personally noticed a similar change, and i'd like to challenge those reading, to try dressing more modestly when going out or to work. 

The 2nd user came to say basically that when a woman dresses in a revealing manner, it means "she's asking for it." I honestly can't believe i just wrote that. It was 2019. it's 2020. i can't believe there are still people out there who STILL think this way. 

Men AND women are STILL guilty of thinking like that, and teaching their children to think the same. This is why the majority of sexual abuses go un-reported. How come are women thinking this way? I have no idea, but they do. Not believe me? just research the case of the 2 female tourists in Australia who almost got killed and one raped, but managed to escape and the culprit also got arrested. The judge was a woman, she found him guilty on several accounts, except rape! WHAAAT...? HOW??? 

There are some countries where society is still very conservative, and perhaps the citizens can't think outside the box. Romania is one of them, sadly. But this is not a good excuse. It will never be an excuse. 

Victim blaming needs to stop!

I want to make something clear:

The only thing people are asking for when putting clothes on, revealing or not, and then going out, is to be left the heck alone. not to be cat-called, followed around, flirt with or worse.  

There are the older generations who think like that, and i can accept we can't really change their way of thinking. But we can change the mind-set of the younger generations. We also have means of getting informed or of informing others. 

Both conservative men and women should understand once and for all that nobody wants to be abused. in any kind of way.

especially not sexually.

And you know what? men also get sexually abused -by women or other men. these abused men surely didn't ask for it, and some of the ones abused by other men, are not even gay.  

Victim blaming needs to stop. it needs to go back to where it came from because the 21st century doesn't need it. it doesn't belong here anymore. 

If you have a child, or know someone younger than yourself in your family, try and show and tell them that it is not OK to blame the victim for what happened to them. Nobody wants bad things to happen to them. Tell them it's also not OK to catcall or try and flirt with someone just because they dressed in a revealing way. Try to tell them that when they grow up, they should try and help those who are being harassed or pestered in any way. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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