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Some money saving tips

Publié le par Charly C.

Recently I started watching videos on finances and minimalism. I'm not good with money and I'm not a minimalist either ... well, not really. I guess, I decided to start learning about the mistakes I could be faced later on, or how to fix the ones I already made [and I'm too embarrassed to talk about].

However, I realized that in a way I can be described with both epithets depending on the situation. Now, I decided to share with whoever reads this blog, some possibly new [and some definitely old ways] in which you can spend less money.  

yes, doing this saves me some money

yes, doing this saves me some money

"hacking" my clothes

Some of you might remember my post in which I shared how I added a pocket to my sweatpants that didn't have one. 

How does it save money? I didn't have to go buy another pair with pockets [not that I would have found something I liked] and I didn't pay someone else to do it for me. Of course, for this you have to know how to sew [by hand or with the machine]. 

To do this, you'd have to sacrifice some time. For this project I wasted a bit more time than I was supposed to, because of extra steps that proved not needed.

I have a similar project going on for a bag. Hopefully I can post it soon enough.

old stuff to rags

If you were to calculate how much you spend in a year for certain cleaning supplies - mop replacement, kitchen sponge, dust cloth, whatever else you use, how much do you estimate that would add up to?

Honestly, I didn't calculate myself because I'd have to keep track of how often I need to replace them. But my wallet is a bit happier I didn't have to buy kitchen sponges anymore - for like a year. 

Instead I use old kitchen towels that I cut into smaller pieces. Most my kitchen towels used to be bath towels that got too worn to still use as such. Yes they were that old. 

By doing this not only do I produce less waste and pollution, but I also save a bit of money. Why are kitchen towels so expensive? 

How about the clothes I mentioned, you say? Depending on the fabric type, I cut those into the shape and size I think I need, and use the rags to clean windows and their sills, doors and their frames, dust the few horizontal surfaces I have, or the tiles in the kitchen and bathroom. Cleaning the toilet with those rags is a good idea because once that's done, I can throw away the rag feeling less guilty about pollution. 

I have to mention that as long as I don't clean the toilet with said rags, I can wash them in the laundry machine, and re-use them until they can no longer be used. 

Some towels make an even better mop than the one I have, so why not taking advantage of that? Not to mention that once the dishes are done, I can rinse off the piece of towel I used, and hung it to dry - it's more hygienic than a sponge in this regard.

Tshirts, sweat pants and matching sweat-shirts are the best candidates here. I find this a really good idea for when cleaning due to moving

This is especially do-able for those who don't have a charity or some other place where to go donate or sell old clothes. Let's just say, towels are not a thing to make others use.

Some money saving tipsSome money saving tips

by cooking

Cooking can save you some money as oftentimes the ingredients are cheaper or add up to 1 meal at a restaurant, depending on what you order. Let's not forget that usually cooking means you get several servings of the food you make, and if you really like what you make, that's always cheaper and better. 

What I cook is usually sweets, soups, and stews. I can't really find the stuff I prepare at home in the store. Even if I did, the taste is not the same, and may have ingredients I want to steer away from (garlic, onions, preservatives, food coloring) from a health related perspective.

If you want to prepare a meal that is not really specific to the country you live in, the ingredients can cost quite a lot. You might actually save money if you went to have a serving of an "exotic" dish at a specialized restaurant. You'll also realize whether that food is really worth trying to make at home or not. 

 

eating directly from the pot

"Whaat? that's gross, weird!" - it's what you may be thinking. 

And you're right when you cook for a whole family and not just yourself. It's also not really gross if you just warm the food on the stove, in a small enough pot to hold 1 serving of whatever you eat. 

How does it save money? indirectly: you have only 1 container to wash, not 2. You save water and dish washer because you use less of both. Of course, this works only if you do the dishes by hand. If you use a dish washing machine, you might actually want to use a separate plate to eat in. 

I have to say that these machines are not very common in Romania yet, though they can be found in stores. Younger families are more likely to own them, than older generations. They are more likely to be found in newer or renovated apartments. We don't own one.

Each household is different, of course, and what works for me might not work for you. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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some thoughts on moving to another country

Publié le par Charly Cross

Moving to another country is not what many people expect it to be. Sadly. 

It can't happen overnight - unless you're very rich, or maybe don't care about going into a big debt. To avoid this, you could sell everything you own of value - but what if you don't own anything at all? This is perhaps one of the first things to keep in mind especially if you're older and a school exchange program can't be applied to you.

You should choose a country where a language you know is spoken. In case you'll be interested in getting a job, having a diploma, degree, certification, or experience, will help greatly. Any of these attributes will help you secure decent employment. You do have other ways of generating income, and as a woman you could even get married to a rich man from that country - a practice frowned upon.

But I'm nobody to talk about those topics. As you know, we plan on moving to France, and it's not an easy process. We want to learn more about the life there, but there aren't many people writing or making videos about it. Following Youtube France ... I only get suggestions for comedy channels with pranks, or challenges. Not helpful at all, but we still try.

We're also trying slowly improving our grasp on French. We luckily learned some in school, but it's been so long ago. We do know that the quality of life in France is far better than over here, so why shouldn't we want to move there? After all you don't want to move to a country where you don't have access to running water or electricity, do you? You also want to have enough money from your paycheck to be able to have some fun as well.

The political atmosphere of the country is important. While I'm sure there are some people who would like to live in North Korea, they will never outnumber those who want to live in USA, Sweden, France, the UK, Japan, or any other country where people are free to say and do whatever as long as they don't hurt others. Not many people want to live in a very corrupt country either - Romania is one of the most corrupt ones out there.

some thoughts on moving to another country

Some countries have a more accepting attitude towards foreigners than others. This is why Canada is a place where foreigners are very welcomes, but countries like Japan, China, Switzerland are very enclosed and rejecting towards them. Sure there are reasons, however it is quite difficult for many people going to those last countries to feel at home, welcomed and accepted.

It is well known that some products or services you might need or like, are not available in other countries. For instance, Europeans going to USA won't be able to eat or even buy Kinder eggs, or that internet is heavily censored in China and that many sites are blocked over there. We're going to France, so I'll be missing some foods that I'm pretty sure I won't find there, unless I can find Romanian shops there. What's more, some stuff will shock you - maybe the so many vending machines in Japan qualify ...? Or that all the shops are closed on Sunday in France, Germany, and Switzerland - or this is what I heard.

Your safety is important, especially if you're a woman. You will want to know just how safe it is to walk down the street at night, or even in the daylight. Bucharest is rather safe, plus you definitely don't risk getting randomly shot because we don't own guns. We don't need them. Having thieves breaking into your home is relatively rare, as far as I know, especially since most buildings now have an intercom system, sometimes even a guard downstairs, and cameras.

What do you do if you have pets, like we do? You of course have the option to re-home them, but if you're like us, you probably think the pets are part of the family and can't imagine anyone else taking better care of them. Plu you'll be missing them a LOT. We decided to take 2 of them with us [we have 3], and to return for the 3rd one at some point when we become more stable with the money. But the pets need passports, vaccines, microchips, and I forgot what other documentation. What's more, is that we need money for all these vet visits and paperwork.

Then, we'll need more money for plane tickets, food while we're there till we find employment, and so on. Not to mention the time we need to invest in all of this. Just the pets' stuff might take up to 2 months. I always thought I can just pack my bags and be out the door, but I never really put much thinking into all these aspects that can be scary at times. Remember you can't succeed with fear in mind: you have to be somewhat brave.

I may have been a dreamer, and still am. There is nothing wrong with that as long as I'm aware of the effort needed to make my dreams come true, and being willing to do the work. And A and me ARE preparing to turn those dreams into reality.

In conclusion, if you too wish to move to another country, get as informed as possible about your destination to ease the process, and then start doing the work for it. Don't forget that sometimes it just takes more time than expected. Good luck!


©2013 – present. Charly Cross. All rights reserved.

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Stuff I wish I knew before re-branding

Publié le par Charly C.

As some of you know, I recently moved my blog and I also re-named it. All this trouble can be called re-branding! YAY!

So my rebranding consist of:

  • new hosting platform 
  • new blog name
  • new author name 
  • new blog and author logo - that I designed

In case you're wondering, the old version of the blog still exists, still on the platform I was using before, however it is being hidden from the public. 

Like many other people that try new things for the first time, there are some things I wish I knew before doing this step. Well, to be completely honest, I did no research on what rebranding or moving a blog so it's partially my fault. In any case, if you want to learn a few things, or think you might need a few tips in the future, please read on. 

Backing up pictures

Not everyone posts pictures along their blog entries. You'll see some of my own entries with no pictures whatsoever - they're not always relevant. 

However, if you do have pictures on your blog, you might want to back them up. From the start. The same goes for your videos. 

When I rebranded, I noticed several posts [this is just one of them] had broken images, and I was really scared I didn't have them anymore. But thanks to the hoarder that I am, I did find them. 

You might want to edit them and have them bear your new brand if you watermark them. I didn't do this, but maybe I should. The thing is I am not 100% sure I still have the originals or that I want to waste even more time for that. 

that entry was deleted before rebranding, as i changed my mind about it since the time i wrote it.

that entry was deleted before rebranding, as i changed my mind about it since the time i wrote it.

Edit / delete posts / entries

Rebranding usually has something to do with having changed your mind about the purpose of your blog. This means you'll have to go back on your posts and see if there is anything that doesn't fit your new perspective. Rebranding is similar to a face-lift so to say, so you'll have to do this.

I had to delete some entries that for some reason or another were blank. Originally those were re-blogs on my other platform, but perhaps the original poster also deleted the entries or something weird happened. Blank entries look weird and unprofessional, so in the bin they went.

At the same time, you might want to delete or add new pages for a better organization of your entries. Editing them [their content] is also a good idea, to breathe in some fresh air. 

Check and fix your URLs

My URLs were a mess after I moved my blog. It took me several days to go through all my entries and fix them. As a curiosity, they read something like: "http://www.obscurejourney.com/http://theownertravelsto.wordpress.com/missing-entries-on-my-blog" - WordPress is my previous blogging platform. This type of URL looks complicated, not functional and very unprofessional. My old blog is still there, but it's hidden from the public: it's my way of backing up my site. 

Not only did I have to fix the ugly URLs, I also had to fix any links I had in any post as well! My links were directing the visitor towards my previous blog and therefore the links appeared broken. I hope I did well and managed to fix them all. 

Learn about your new host

This should be a no-brainer. But, I jumped on this new platform without reading too much about it. I still hope I won't regret it, haha. 

You should learn about your new host because you want to go LIVE as soon as possible, so learning about the host - how to post entries, customize the appearance of your site, so on, should be done beforehand. 

For instance, WordPress and over-blog work differently when it comes to creating new pages. In WordPress you create a new page and it appears at the top, by default. On over-blog, you have to create the menu yourself. Each method has its own advantages - and i like that here, on over-blog if i want to change what a page says, i can just change the URL of the old one [if I want to keep it] and create a new entry with the previous link. It sounds a bit complicated, but it's really easy. 

Let's just say it took me a while to realize a few things, and only because I didn't properly study my new host.

Matching social media

I decided I should make social media accounts that match my new brand and identity. This is because I want to appear more serious and more professional. however, don't expect to see me on those accounts too much for they make me anxious, and it's close to a panic attack. But, if you want to show your support, you can do so there, if it's easier for you. Send me a private message or a public one, and i'll make sure to reply to it [sooner or later]. 

Before I was "the owner of the blog" or "the owner travels to" or something weird like that. Now I decided to take on a pen name [yea, sorry this is not my ID name - I don't connect at all with it] and a easier to remember URL. 

I therefore created "matching" social media accounts: on twitter and on facebook, and I connected both to this platform. I also have a "matching" email account on gmail [4charlycross [at] so on]. There's also an instagram account by the same name - you have higher chances of seeing me active here. 

You don't have to be very active on all of these platforms, but it's nice I guess to give people options to get in touch with you, other than through your blog [or youtube channel -yes I have one of those as well, for when I think stuff are easier to show through a video rather than pictures and writing. but don't expect 4K HD quality or anything as I'm just an amateur]. 

the logo that i made myself in MS Paint.

the logo that i made myself in MS Paint.

Logo

As you can see, I also have a "logo" that I use "everywhere." It's like a virtual signature for easy recognition. 

Use the logo across your social media accounts or wherever you want to be recognized. You can use a picture of yourself, if you're ok with it [i'm not u_u] or the same handle across all your accounts [as I tried doing]. 

This idea came to me, after seeing a vlogger i was watching, renaming her Twitter, and now her old handle belongs to a random guy who will benefit from her hard work. Her new handle is difficult to write and pronounce, and doesn't really have a connection with her life, except slightly. I try not to make that mistake and you shouldn't either.  

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Rapidly gaining weight - a nightmare

Publié le par Charly C.

Some of you might remember one of my past entries in which I talked about losing weight, and you can read it here. At the time I promised I'd talk about how I also gained weight. 

It wasn't very easy for me to talk about gaining weight, and the only reason I can find is that this is something a bit hard to think about. Right now, I passed through 2 periods of rapidly gaining weight. 

First time of weight gain

The first time happened after we rehomed a puppy we found on the street. There's no secret that owning a dog makes you go out a lot, and sometimes walk a lot. Owning a dog is great if you need an excuse to go for a walk to either stay in shape or lose some weight. Best results are when you find a dog that needs long walks, that is full of energy. 

Sadly, such a dog is not really happy in an apartment with other pets, or with people who are more lazy than active - such as myself. 

As you know, Kali [the puppy] found herself a home with a dog-loving family [we're more of cat people], and this meant I had no reason to go out and walk as much. This lack of exercise translated into extra 7 kg for me [about 15 pounds]. 

I gained this much weight in about 2 months. Sadly, I can't remember my before or after weight. 14 pounds in 2 months seemed a lot to me, but it really can be worse, like the second time around. 

Second time of weight gain

The second time when I gained weight happened at the beginning of 2017 after I gave up my job as a supermarket cashier. I haven't talked about this job because it needs a separate entry, and I'm not ready for that yet. You can read about other jobs I had though, if you're really curious. 

A bit of background info

Working in a supermarket as a cashier is close to working for the devil himself. And giving up that job was both a good and a bad thing for my health. If you ever worked in a supermarket, you'd know what I'm talking about. 

This place was opened from 7 am to 11pm and we were supposed to work only 2 shifts! i was very "lucky" [can you sniff the sarcasm there?] to work mostly the afternoon shift ... and this meant I'd get home at 1 am [because of random "duties" we were supposed to perform after the store closed]. 

This messed up my sleeping hours, that I tried hard to fix [I used to go to bed at about 3 or 4 am, and managed to make myself sleep quite early at midnight. with my new job, i'd go to bed at about 2 am]. A poor sleeping habit also means poor quality sleep, therefore not getting the rest I needed. Especially for the weekends I had to be there the whole day, from 7 am to about midnight. yes, you read that right - 2 days of 14 hours in a row, meaning on Saturday [make that Sunday morning] I'd sleep 2 or 3 hours? 

Of course, this further led to stress and having a breakdown at work and almost fainting. I also started to feel my overall health impoverishing as my diet was all over the place, not getting enough nutrients from my food. The breakdown and near-fainting happened after a couple of months on the job [wow, that was fast]. At that point I decided my health is far more important, so I decided to quit.

The aftermath

As soon as I finished working there, on New Year's Eve, I went into a sort of coma for 2 weeks straight. I'd sleep for 22 or 23 hours of the day straight with whatever breaks for restroom and food. A lot of it. All of it. Can you imagine what food with no working out does to the body? 

Before starting the job from hell, I was about 59 - 60 kg [so about 130 - 132 pounds]. While on the job [for some 3 months] I went down to 56 - 57 kg [123 - 125 pounds]. When I finally started to need less sleep I noticed i reached 70 kg! [154 pounds].

Gaining some 13 kg [28 pounds] in 2 weeks is insane if you're not pregnant! This happened in January of 2017. Only in October I managed to start losing a little bit of weight. Now, in April I'm about 67 kg [147 pounds]. I'm trying to work out as often as I can, and of course I'm eating much less. 

some advice:

If your job is too demanding and you can barely get any rest, it might be better to give it up, unless it's your dream job. In my opinion, no job is worth risking one's health because health is something we take for granted, but it has no price when we have it. As soon as we get sick, we start shelling all the money we have and don't have, just to get better. 

 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Being a hoarder

Publié le par Charly C.

Hello there!

My partner would label me a hoarder - at least in some regards. I totally fit the bill of "don't throw that away as you don't know when you might need it!" In recent years I started to tackle this and I generally stopped trying to keep every little thing. 

As some of you might know, I recently changed the platform I blog on. I used the well known WordPress but I think over-blog might be a better option for me. The blog on WP is still there, but hidden from the public. [as a back up >.>] 

During this move, I had to look at all the past entries and see if the images are still there, to check the links, and other stuff. To my shock, some pictures were completely gone! Luckily, I still had most of them on my computer, on tumblr, and even on a DVD. 

However, one blog entry in particular still had some pictures while others were nowhere to be found! DISPAIR! 

So I started to search for them everywhere. And I mean everywhere. The only place I didn't look until the end was a folder called "COPY." Lo and behold! The pictures I thought I lost forever, were there! The ONLY copy I still had of those pictures!

I was quite happy to discover them. I edited them as fast as I could and I put them in the blog entry. 

This is not the only time I kept something "for later use" and it was actually useful. But I have a hard time recalling the other times, at this point. I really don't know if I could get similar pictures if I didn't find them, so I'm thankful for being a hoarder. 

Piece of advice: You don't really need to keep 5 items of the same type, generally 1 is enough. 

How about you: Are you a hoarder? Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you wish you kept something you threw away only to discover it would be useful for X situation? Or did you at some point need something you knew you kept and were happy you did keep that thing?

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. 

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My offline work experience

Publié le par Charly Cros

For the past 7 years I've been working online as a ghost writer. I love this job, even though I'm not always the best at it.

However I did have several jobs that can be labeled as 9-to-5, therefore full time employment. I will talk about 3 of these jobs in this post, as they're in the same field - sales. I've been a sales assistant in a shoe shop and in 2 clothes stores, and this is where my worst experiences came from.

After reading this, you'll probably say that I should have sucked it up, and bear it ... but that's just not me. My brain is wired differently, and as a result I can't act the way the norms of society tell me to act - plus I'm still a rebel and I'm prone to disobey the rules. But that's for a different entry.

"Romanians find products made of genuine leather to be of a better quality, and looking better, and will prefer it."

I'll now talk about my experience working in a shoe shop. This store - or better said its name - is a well known Romanian brand. its products are made of real leather, and this includes shoes, bags, and belts. How they source their leather, I don't know, and I'm not here to discuss whether this is an OK practice or not. [I will however tell you that Romanians find products made of genuine leather to be of a better quality, and looking better, and will prefer it. This is especially true for those over the age of 35, as younger generations are more influenced by the animal rights movement.]

At this store, I worked 2 weeks in one location, then they moved me to another location. I hated working there -not sure why- and I also didn't understand what was I supposed to do there. They expected me to learn more than 100 products by heart, in a couple of days. Before getting hired, I thought that working in a shoe shop is easy - wrong!

This was my first ever experience working with so many products, clients, and high amounts of money. Despite my lack of experience, they wanted me to check the products on the register - when selling, and to so unsupervised. [So they'll have someone to blame should money be missing, I assume.] They might have shown me how's done, once or twice, but it was super fast, and didn't learn it - I learn at a slower pace.

The other girls didn't seem to like me, and I also disliked them. I remember having to obey weird rules such as standing in one spot if the store had no clients. However, when I did that, they would call the store and tell me to move around. So, am I a statue or not? make up your mind, people. I got fired after those 4 weeks. And you know what? I don't regret it one bit. I wouldn't advise anyone working for this company.

"The main job there was to convince the clients they needed those rags."

At the clothes shops, I also spent 1 month in each, but this was many years after the shoe store happening. I worked for the first clothes store back in 2015. That was another unpleasant experience that mostly messed up my feet. The items sold there were ridiculously expensive but made on the cheap - well, maybe there were a few exceptions, but too few to matter. The main job there was to convince the clients they needed those rags and to make sure we each sell of a certain amount of money each day, to get the sales commission.

That's because here, sales assistants get a fixed salary and a percentage of the total sales made in a month - usually the month before the payday. This store had a sales target per person, per day, equal to the fixed salary. So, if your monthly paycheck was 2000, you had to make sure you sell every day, merchandise worth 2000. Impossible? Well, maybe selling 2 dresses each day, was enough. Except there are not so many people needing a [fugly, elegant] dress every day.

What happened? I failed, and got fired. But I was happy because I had to lie to the clients - something I'm bad at, and dislike doing. Plus some people can tell quality from trash, and can buy the same product for a fraction of the price, from some other place. I also think the other chicks didn't like me as I wasn't as fake as them. I don't have the energy for that.

"The other girls here seemed nice to me."

Working for the 3rd store, was another fail story. I was supposed to receive a full uniform there - they only provided a top. And then they asked me why don't I have normal pants like the other chicks working there - take a guess, Einstein! Just like the first store, this one is another Romanian brand, and their designers are sisters - I had no idea of this before getting hired. Maybe this is why they fired me from here as well.

The worst part of working there, was the CEOs were checking the cameras at all times, not having alarm system, making it easy for people to shoplift. The other girls here seemed nice to me, but I learned they gossiped about me behind my back. I would assume none of the colleagues really liked me was because I didn't want to tell them all my life story from day one.

NOT a sob story nor asking for your pity

So this concludes the story of me working as sales assistant for 3 different shops. I'm not seeing it as a sob story, I don't need to be pitied or anything like that. I just want to point out that working a full time job outside the house is not something made for everyone.

And I wish society accepted this already, and the governments made it easier for people like me to make a living in different ways, not just the "traditional" way.

I still have some stories related to old-fashioned type of employment, but in different sectors. And the experiences there were still unpleasant from my point of view.


(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Missing entries on my blog

Publié le par Charly

I have to come clean guys.

Recently I watched a video in which the author [sorry, can't remember who it was] was talking about people that get paid to write or film FAKE reviews for items, services, and so on.

This video hit home, quite hard, because I'm a freelance writer and I did get paid for that as well. However, once I was shameless enough to post that review on my blog, and have you [who reads this] believe that I actually know what I'm doing or talking about.

This blog was started as means for me to explore my creativity, share my life lessons, try and spread some more common sense to some who lack it [now that I matured a bit since I started I realize this is a near impossible task].

Back to my topic. Back when I posted that entry, I did feel guilty about it - I don't think I even mentioned I got paid for that entry. I remember I was rather happy I have something to post, since at that time I wasn't posting as much as now.

Today I'm coming 'clean,' I deleted that post, and will also have to further brush through my past entries to see what else doesn't fit in my blog anymore.

WordPress admin view. my previous blogging platform.

WordPress admin view. my previous blogging platform.

I deleted this entry a while back, but I wanted to show you guys proof that I did delete it, and that this post did exist at some point. I currently have another entry removed. Once I figure out which entries still need removing, I will probably take another screen capture of my trash folder and update this entry. Maybe, I don't know for sure for now.

Do know this is a slow process simply because I move slow. From now on I will only post things that happen to my partner and me, or just me. I may have my partner or other people write entries for me in the future, but until then, it will only be me posting. As stated earlier, I will only write about stuff that happens to me, that interest me, or my thoughts.

Wanted to clear things out, and assure you guys that the missing posts were intentional and not some sort of Mandela Effect.

If you read to here, WOW! you deserve a cookie! Have a good day!


© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Quotes can make you look wiser

Publié le par Charly C.

It is highly possible to have heard your parents or grandparents citing various things to you that became like a mantra. You probably never understood them and felt almost like an idiot - I know I did. However, most people like to recite very famous quotes, and while you should know who said what, it is time you created a little booklet of quotes of your own, to sound smarter and wiser.

Today's quotes are by Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee. But this is something he didn't really want to be remembered as. He wanted to be his own person, apart from his famous father. Sadly, somehow this is now a bit impossible to achieve, simply because he died way too soon.

Quotes can make you look wiser

"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times. And a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive your life without it? Perhaps 4 or 5 times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless."

"You only have the burdens on you that you choose to put there."

"God knows the times I have found myself in absurd situations."

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."

"A fight can express things people might not be able to say with words."

"Believe me, nothing is trivial."

"If you've ever found yourself pushed to the limits of your tolerance... you find yourself doing some things that, from the outside, can be seen as quite insane."


Most likely these quotes will mean something different to everyone. But all of them have something to teach us. They make us smarter and wiser. If we pay attention to some of these words, we might even avoid making some huge mistakes later on.

I'll see you again on Sunday.

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we're all parrots

Publié le par Charly C.

This may sound like a weird title or subject to write about, however, when you really thinking about it, you'll see this is true.

As adults we might think that parroting is something of an insult, but honestly this is how we learn things! Everything we know is more or less parroting others and their knowledge.

Think about it: when we're toddlers, how do we learn how to talk? by parroting our parents, or whoever is around us. How do we learn how to write in primary school? By imitating and drawing the letters we're shown. Later on, many learn how to apply makeup or to style their hair by imitating others - these days "others" simply means beauty gurus on YouTube and other platforms.

The same goes for singing or dancing. Any type of singing or dancing.

So, why do we take so much offense when we're told we're just imitating what we saw or heard? Why are many people so offended when told they lack imagination, that they're not original?

People have been roaming the planet for tens of thousands of years. It is VERY difficult to come up with something new and original.

Even this blog is imitating other blogs. Why do I think it is original? because in a way it is all over the place. But, then again, so are other blogs and even books.

That is all I had to say for now.


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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RIP Chester [Linkin Park]

Publié le par Charly Cross

RIP Chester. I wish you found peace. Sadly you'll never get to read this. :( This entry is beyond serious. Depression goes hand in hand with suicide. These two topics are generally taboo. But we need to talk about them, we need to learn how to read the signs. And we need to be more understanding of those suffering from these ... I'm not sure how to call them.

 

If you're like me, you probably have no idea what depression is. Or how does it feel. How it REALLY feels.

 

Sometime last year I read about a woman who went to a hair salon wanting to buy some hair products: her hair was a rat's nest, all tangled up. Poor woman thought that by getting expensive hair care the tangles will magically go away: they would not. Only a careful hand with a comb can do something about that. One of the employees stopped her from shopping and instead invited her for a de-tangling session. The woman only managed to show up a few weeks later after several attempts at making an appointment and then canceling or not showing up. the woman was severely depressed. so much she didn't care to wash or comb her hair.

 

Depression is also walking down the street and not realizing a car is about to hit you, or not caring if it does [this happened to me, but I think it was a mistake since i was really upset that day]. Sometimes I get the blues, and it can last for some days. But then it passes.

 

But you know what? Depression is like a weed that keep growing back, like some mold you don't notice because it forms behind some furniture. And it spreads slowly. slowly but steady. And when you finally see it, the only solution is to completely remove the wall.

 

Depression is like a worm in an apple, in a way: you can't know the apple is rotten until you cut it open. Depressed people are similar because depression is not only tired eyes and black eyeliner. But there are signs. Signs that a trained eye - or another sufferer- is able to see. Fake smiles, flimsy happiness that doesn't last more than a few hours.

 

I know depression because my partner is depressed. What scares me the most is that they have almost the same mannerisms as Chester in this short clip. Not to mention a very similar way of talking, intonation and all.

 

I just watched a few Linkin Park videos. In the end for instance, clearly describes depression and even suicide. I still have a difficult time realizing he's gone: it's unreal. He didn't really mean anything to me, but ... I can't realize what it is.

 

I even have a confession to make. I knew he would die - just didn't know how. I have some sort of a 6th sense, or psychic abilities, if you will - that's why I started posting tarot interpretations. Sometimes I just KNOW things. A few months back I started watching their Breaking the Habit video. In the middle of one session I heard a voice telling me he will die. I brushed it off. I am not sure I would have been able to prevent it. But those close to him could have!

 

People NEED to start learning about depression more. To recognize it, and also how they can help those suffering from it. Depression doesn't pass with pills - they just might make things bearable. A therapist doesn't always help - because they're also human, and they're not always good at being a therapist.

 

What could help more is for friends and family:

  • not to push the sufferer into unpleasant situations, by saying "oh, come on, come with us!" Instead something like "if you change your mind, we're at...."
  • not to act condescending, by saying "oh, you'll get over it!" NO they wont! it's not the blues, not just sadness, but deep shit. so deep your brain can't comprehend it. A "hang in there" or "i'm here" is sometimes much more helpful. this attitude gets them One Step Closer to the edge..
  • check on the person 24/7, like on an infant, like first time parents do.
  • read forums about mental disorders: they generally talk about depression as well. they can learn more about how sufferers hide it, how to deal with it, and so on.
  • understand that for a depressed person, ANYTHING can be a trigger for suicide - it doesn't matter how small it is in their peer's eyes. It could be as small as a Papercut.
  • not to blame the depressed person. see the point above.  telling them calmly something is wrong, but that it's not serious and it can quite easily be fixed is a better approach.
  • thanking the depressed person for everything they do: joining them for breakfast, for a group activity, or anything they have a really hard time doing.

 

Please, if you know someone depressed, DO NOT laugh at them, do not tell them they're weak or cowards when they 'casually' talk about suicide. Most definitely DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tell them to 'just do it" because in that moment you just took their life away! YOU killed that person! Morally, it won't be a suicide anymore, but an act of taking another person's life! If you think you can live with that hanging on your conscience, then you're a psychopath and you're a danger to society, and need to be locked up!

 

All those people complaining Linkin Park's music changed, THEY KILLED Chester. and sadly, I saw MANY people lately acting the same way: laughing at various popular people, and thinking of themselves they're better than said popular people.

 

I hope Chester's family and friends are strong enough to get over this tragedy.


(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. all rights reserved.

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