love - Obscure Journey

December adventures in Bucharest

Publié le 5 Février 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #life experience, #love, #bucharest, #adventures, #customs, #romanian tradition

You probably wondered what I have been up to during my long absence.. Or not. If you do, I'll present you with the short version. It's not like I've been able to do much anyways.

First off, unlike most of the previous years, this time around we managed to get a Christmas tree. It was a small potted one because we felt bad to bring in a big one that was cut. plus it would have been troublesome and we have cats too.

Among the many things that happened, there were some fun moments too. For starters, we went to a well known Christmas Market before New Years. The Market opens every Christmas for about a week before Christmas, and this year we actually went there too early - the Market preparations were still underway and the place was sorta deserted. Except for the workers, of course, who were suffering the cold to make the place pleasant for the future visitors.

Because of this, we ended in a cafe that was selling mulled wine as well. That was some really good mulled wine. See a pic below. We could sit outside because despite the cold, it didn't snow. The place, like many others that left their terraces open through autumn and winter, had special heaters that also gave off a red light. It was really cozy as we also had blankets to cover with.

Next, you can see a snapshot video of another Christmas market .. again at closing time.

The second time we went we were more lucky, and we got to see most of the attractions we were there for. During this period farmers from all corners of the country bring local products, which include a big variety of cold meats and cheese. Along with that we also saw some of the popular Spanish Churros, fish and chips booths, as well as pretzels shops. Almost each seller also offered mulled wine of different flavors at a price for about $2 euro a cup.

The weather was terribly cold, below 0 C but that didn't stop us from enjoying the show for about 20 minutes (we didn't last for longer haha). In the meanwhile we decided to get some fish and chips and enjoy the hot food and mulled wine... along with a "freebie" cup that stays filled with Pepsi these days. "freebie" because the price for the mulled wine was double.

A stage was placed in the center of the Market where a traditional performance was taking place. This is a popular Romanian celebration that happens every New Years Eve. Called ''capra'' or ''ursul'', which literally means ''the goat'' and ''the bear," respectively. The event features people dressed in bear and goat outfits dancing around and putting up a show. We even saw a ''baby bear'' this year! The "baby bear" was just a kid dressed in a bear costume, but he was really adorable! See below a bit of footage from the Bear Dance performance:

People don't only put on the outfits for this festival, but also walk around the street beating the drums and singing for days before the New Year. A few groups came downstairs on our street and almost stopped the traffic while they were performing haha.

What we really went there for wasn't available - some Hungarian treats called Kurtos Kalacs which are amazing!! These sweet rolls are topped with all sort of nuts, sugar, cinnamon, and even chocolate. Last year we waited in a huge line just to get 2 of these, but this year none of the sellers were there. Such a pity! :(

After we finally had enough of the cold weather we headed over to Second Cup - a Canadian coffee chain for some coffee. We got there about 20 minutes before they closed so I guess that was totally lucky.

mulled wine and disappointing coffees

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LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS TOO

Publié le 11 Janvier 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #friends, #friendship, #life experience, #life lesson, #love, #people, #tips, #Uncategorized

My life has been chaotic the past few months. This is why I haven't updated this blog in such a long time.

Let's just say I had a full time job with a weird working schedule.. it got me exhausted. both mentally and physically. The worst part is that even my cats suffered because of this job. One of them gained a lot of weight even though he didn't eat more than before. [or this is what I think.]

However, talking about this job is not why I'm here, but to mention that I did have friends that saw the effects of this job on me, and they got worried. They told me to quit it or else.. [I will get ill or regret it later..]

Did I listen? NO! of course not! Why would I listen to my friends? Do they care about me, or are worried about me, or even know my needs or desires? Given that they're my friends, the answer should be "yes" for most, if not all the above questions, right?

It turns out they were right.. the job was bad for my body...and mind. Or at least the effort needed to perform the tasks on the job and the long hours were too tiring.

I found the image here.

For instance, I had no physical power and no mental energy to deal with or to think about cooking or even cleaning the house. I could only shower, eat a bit, sleep, and wash a couple of dishes [by hand] ... and that was it. every. single. day. I also didn't manage to get enough sleep either, for some reason or another. Seeing my friends or even close family members was also out of the question: I was too tired in my days off to have visitors or to pay visits to people.

I was leaving home at about 1pm and return at about 1am.. daily. With the exception when I had to be there at 7am and still return at 1am for 2 days in a row.. Good luck with that, superman-me! I did it a few times, until my body was too tired to hear the alarm and wake up at the time I had to be leaving out the door.

So, what did I do in the end? I finally quit this soul-sucking job only to realize just how tired I really was.. just like my friends predicted [or already saw].

This picture was found on a suspended account on the big internet.

My advice for everyone reading this entry is to just listen to your friends, or whoever else you have near you and cares about you when or if you are in a similar situation. Listening to them might just save you from a trip to the hospital, from a situation in which you realize you're completely alone because you prioritized the wrong thing, or even from the day you realize you live in a pig's house instead of a house for humans because you had no time or energy to vacuum.

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Being thankful for what we have

Publié le 25 Mai 2016 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #life experience, #life lesson, #love

How blessed are we to be healthy and 'normal?' How many times are thankful for these blessings? How many times are we thinking about those with special needs, about those who are labeled as 'normal?'

Let me tell you: not enough, or never at all.

Tonight I'm at this café/restaurant place right next to my apartment building. At the next table there are 3 girls, enjoying their drinks. But there is something wrong, very wrong with this picture: only 2 of them are talking and having fun. The 3rd one is just staring, obviously bored. But ... this is not what's wrong with the picture.. Her outfit and appearance is a clear sign she doesn't really belong here ... that she is not 'fully normal.' She suffers from the Down syndrome. This syndrome makes everyone suffering from it look nearly the same.

At first, not seeing her face, I was wondering what is she doing here, as she clearly doesn't belong.. She must have come with one of the other 2 girls.

The 2 girls seem cheerful, talking about their .... whatever they speak about. The 3rd girl doesn't only look bored, but she also seems as if she wants to be part of the conversation. But she's being ignored by her companions.

Am I judging them? you bet I am. it is 11.30 pm, and 2 girls brought with them a person who they completely ignore. The 2 girls are drinking beer, but the Down girl is drinking Pepsi Light. Do I find this fair? not at all.

This whole scene made me realize I'm never truly thankful for what I have - be it material or not. and since I'm never truly grateful, there must be others that are the same as me.

I'm never thankful enough for my health. I'm never thankful enough for the roof over my head, for the clothes covering my body, for the food on my table, for the fact that when I go out with someone I'm not completely ignored and forgotten.

I feel bad for the girl has a disability Down syndrome because she's being ignored and left out of the conversation. Because this syndrome makes others label her as 'not normal' or 'ill.' And there is nothing i can do for her nor for others in her situation.

The only thing i can do is write my thoughts here, for you to read. And then, i can only hope that next time you see someone having less stuff than you do, you're going to be grateful for what you have. You could then point this out to those around you as well. Don't judge them as you don't know their stories. Further more, if everyone was equally healthy/ill or rich/poor, we wouldn't have these notions anymore, and perhaps another type of chaos would arise.

You may not be able to help those with less things than you, but maybe someone else can. This is still a form of showing love and compassion. It's still a form of helping, after all.

"thank you visitor for reading./Thank you god for everything you've given me - good and bad, because I grew into a better and stronger me" [or at least I hope so].

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Thoughts on being a good person

Publié le 6 Mars 2016 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #beauty, #life experience, #life lesson, #love

Hello world.

Today's topic is something we all should think about. Today's topic is one of the reasons I started writing this blog. I'm not a good person, or better said, I'm not as good as I would like to be. However, this is something that defines "being a human, " isn't it?

But, what does "good person" mean?

"Good person" means anything you want it to mean. It can be a person with a kind heart who cares about the pain other people feel. It can be someone who simply wants to help everyone in need, be it a person, animal, plant, cause, insect, alien... you get the point.

A "good person" can be someone who wants to be the best at doing something: their job, a hobby, at school.. the list goes on.

Can I be or become a good person?

This sounds like a really silly question. Of course you can be! Anyone can become a good individual if they so want. How to become a better person is a topic better discussed in a different entry though.

Back to the current subject, now.

What I noticed is that many people are mean these days. And with each passing day they become more and more mean. I wonder why is this happening.. It can't be terrorism. Or not just that.

I think it's because people take for granted way too many things these days, and each of them has the impression they rule the Universe when it's the Universe ruling us. You don't believe me? Just think about who gives birth: the Universe decided only women can give birth. This is just one sign that the Universe rules over us.

Sadly, everywhere I go I see someone bearing hate feelings towards another. I see hate speech, hateful behavior, and a general lack of respect. All of these are proof that people are not "good." A good person wouldn't do all the above.

Ironically, there is a whole group of people that recently emerged. This group of individuals put up an image of "promoting love, kindness, and consideration towards others," .... but by preaching. Preaching is not "being a good person either." Preaching is trying to give the impression the person is loftier than the rest, but they actually aren't because they still use a hateful speech when addressing others. This aspect is easily seen online when people discuss a controversial subject.

Trying to think of alternative ways of saying something can make you a better person. Walking away from a conflict can be a sign of a wiser or better person, and not sign of weakness. Announcing you're walking away from the conflict doesn't make you a better person though: you have to simply walk away and forget about it.

Am I good or better person by saying all of the above? No. What I'm saying here is something I may be doing wrong and I hope to help the readers to avoid making the same mistakes and choose to be better.

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How much do bloggers lie about their life?

Publié le 17 Novembre 2015 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #business, #life experience, #life lesson, #love, #tips

It's been a long time - my offline life changed for a while, now it seems to be back to 'normal.' I just want to share a few thoughts and insights regarding the life of a blogger [or a vlogger].

I'm not going to lie here: I read several blogs and follow several vloggers on Youtube. What's more is that they seem to lead a perfect or ideal life - it most certainly looks better than mine, from my point of view.

But that's just MY point of view.

However, I did notice how others seem to share this impression, but the reality is different.

The internet is everyone's tool and chance to become famous. Or to at least get noticed a little.

Some people are more successful or lucky than others, and they become quite famous online. Some of them use their online fame to make a change in the [offline] world around them.

This is something I also secretly dream of. But I'm not going to put my hopes too high.

In any case, I recently realized that most of us that decided to share our experiences with the world have one thing in common:

We present a chopped, idealized reality.

And we do so because we want to inspire others to be better people and not do the mistakes we make. You could say we are selling dreams.

Except, not all of us are receiving money for this.

The internet is literally a shopping street, and with the right tools, some of us can show you our dreams while earning some money as well.

I did mention before that some bloggers and vloggers share their experiences and opinions as to inspire others as well. Some of them started their blogs and channels from a passion they had - beauty, fashion, gaming - or because they have a rare life-style - married to people from a different culture, living in a foreign country, so on.

Everyone wants to lead a better life, and some people are simply scared to do what it takes to live their dreams.

All bloggers and vloggers took it upon themselves to show the world that it is not impossible to live a [near] impossible dream.

It just takes a lot of hard work, courage, and will power.

They are showing the world no dream is impossible if enough passion is used while working. Some of them managed to start their own businesses through which they do whatever they can to help other people to follow their dreams for a better life.

A blogger's life is not perfect, because they are just humans, and there is no perfect human out there. They might have reached the "star" status, but even so, not even "stars" have a perfect life.

Bloggers choose to show the better parts of their life for two reasons:

life is too short and full of negativity and they [we] choose to spread a positive attitude and energy.
one cannot inspire others into become better and more brave by sharing the bad parts in their life.

I hope you can now better understand why the life of a blogger seems perfect, but it actually isn't.

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On body shaming - stop this behavior!

Publié le 13 Mai 2015 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #bullying, #fat, #fighting, #hatred, #life experience, #life lesson, #obese, #self hate, #skinny, #thin, #tips, #weight, #love

We all have issues with the way we look. We can never be happy with the bodies we got from Mother Nature.

We always want to modify something about it: hair color and type, eye color, get longer legs, bigger boobs or bottoms. Everything can go under the knife. And if we're labeled fat, or anything over that, we have to lose weight. WHY?

Because society got brainwashed by pretty looking images seen in movies and ads in which people on the slender side, were featured. They were portrayed as happy and functional. Now everyone seems to associate "happiness," "being functional," and being "thin" or "slender." Anything else means we failed.

I have an average looking body, and according to my BMI [which apparently isn't enough to determine just how fat a person is, but does help to some extent] I'm a person with a normal weight. I still think I could lose some 10 kg - don't worry, I would still be consider "normal" weight for my height. [In fact, I gained 7 kg in 2 months last year.]

I admit I kinda think poorly of people I see as "fat." I'm not shaming them - or at least I'm trying not to do it anymore. Because I realized I was being mean for nothing: it wasn't MY problem to deal with. THEY are overweight, NOT me. It's not me who suffers more because of extra weight, but them. They surely know it, and they don't need me to remind them of this.

I came to realize some people have health problems that make them gain weight. I get that, and I feel bad for laughing or judging those who fell victims to these health problems. IF you belong in this category, I'm sorry. I was ignorant and mean, but now I know better. Or trying to know better.

Sometime in the past month I read an article about being fat, and some of the problems associated. Well, ok I'm lying as I forgot what the article was about, but one of the comments stood out.

It was hilarious, and I wanted to be able to remember it in the future. You can read it below. Sadly, the author had no name: the author's name was either "Anonymous" or "no name." Their comment is not mean, but it can pass as such. In any case, you decide for yourself, as I copied and pasted as it was written there:

here's a test that involves just 3 steps to determine if you're fat - 1) get naked 2) get in front of a full length mirror (preferably at home but to each their own) 3) take a good look at yourself and ask "am I fat?"
here's a 4 step way to change being fat - 1) only eat healthy food (it's much easier to lose fat when eating nothing but very healthy food) 2) burn more calories than you consume (it doesn't even matter how you burn them, just burn them all day long) 3) get on a regular sleep schedule (this is much more important than many people give it credit for being and will also help with a plethora of other health related issues) 4) buy a year long calendar, hang it on the wall and circle today's date; then accept the fact that it took you a long time to get fat so it's going to take you a long time to get not fat ... but you started down the road to being healthier and that's pretty awesome of you!

Surely this method of deciding if you're fat or not will not always work. Some people have a distorted sight or a bad mirror. Asking others if they think you're fat or not is not helpful either: they will generally say something you would like to hear. Not very nice.

If you're a body builder or some other type of sportsman, getting on your scales to see how much you weigh, they will not tell you anything either. So how do you know if you're fat for real? (Actually you might already know deep in side if you're fat or not. Your doctor and other people might have dropped some hints about your weight.)

You might look at people who have a smaller body frame than yours for the about same height. And when you look at them you might think "how nice must it be to be able to move so fast without getting tired so soon."

But do you know what these thoughts are? Or what they represent? They represent self - body shaming. You're shaming yourself. By doing so, you allow others to shame you for your weight as well.

It is you who needs to stop the self hating and shaming first. Only then you'll feel empowered to demand this treatment from others. But this won't happen now when you read this blog entry, it won't happen overnight [though it would be really nice if it did]. It will happen ONLY when you realize the truth in these words and when you're ready to make peace with yourself.

I don't have a magic pill, but you have the magic pill. Better said, your mind does. They say that God works in mysterious ways, but the mind is possibly 10 times more mysterious.

I think it's time to think a bit about the other people. Those labeled as 'skinny' or even 'underweight.' Do you think it's easy for them to be that way? For some, yes it is, because of their build. And WE ALL need to stop shaming them for weighing too little.

They too have problems, especially those who go on extreme diets: they get easily cold when it rains or in winter. The wind could blow them away - hell, it nearly took me away on several occasions. They can get easily tired because their bodies don't have enough stored energy. The list could still continue, but it will stop here.

It is really NOT OK to laugh at other people no matter how they look. It is really not OK to tell them in a masked way, that because they don't fit into a mold they can't be happy. They can be! Many of them are! Next time, before you engage in laughing and pointing to a fat or skinny person, ask yourself:

"What do I have to gain by pointing their body frame out, especially if I can't use magic to make them look 'better'?"
"How does their weight affect MY life in any way?"
"Will they instantly lose/gain enough weight so they'll look the way I want them to look, so I'll accept them?

I plan on writing some tips on how you can lose weight without an extreme diet or surgery. I also plan on writing about the reason I gained 7 kg too, sometimes soon.

Don't be a mean person, be kind and a better person!

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Dragobete - Romanian Valentine's Day

Publié le 22 Février 2015 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #bucharest, #couples day, #life experience, #love, #lovers day, #romanian tradition, #traditions, #valentines day

Everyone is searching for love. We all need more love in our lives. Love is celebrated in many different ways around the world, however one day in particular stands out: lover's day.

This day may or may not be celebrated everywhere. Lover's day may not be observed on the same day all over the world. For instance, USA has the famous Valentine's Day on February 14th. Similarly South Korea recently marked November 11th as Pepero Day, when people gift Pepero snacks to their loved ones as a symbol of affection. Japan has transformed Christmas into a holiday dedicated to couples.

pic by unica.md [found on instagram]

Romanians also have a holiday dedicated to love and couples. This is the Dragobete on February 24th. I will not copy and paste anything in my post, you can read the short Wikipage about it.

pic by @floorscastle on instagram

The article says that we should go collect snowdrops flowers and to give them to the person we love. Luckily, these days, if we want to do this, all we have to do is to buy them from people selling them on the streets. Walking through Downtown Bucharest is very easy to see old ladies selling snowdrops planted in tiny baskets.

What I would like to point out is the fact that this is a very old tradition, of about 2000 years. This aspect makes me think that humanity was always in search for true and long lasting romantic love. This thought of mine is reinforced by the many legends from various nations involving lovers who have to pass through some tests to prove their love.

What are your thoughts on love? should we all have a single day in which to show and reinforce our feelings for a special someone, or is it better to have different days spread throughout the year for more love in the year?

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Living with animals, defending cats, defending animals

Publié le 2 Juillet 2014 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #animals, #cats, #dogs, #life experience, #life lesson, #love

Hi there~~~

There are 5 typpes of people out there: cat people, dog people, bird people, people who love all animals equally, and people who do not. Honestly I will never understand those who don't love animals or not have pets. (Unless they have allergies, that's different.)

The orange cat is Whiskey, the gray cat is Mickey. The tuxedo one is the foster cat we had, Milky.

The orange cat is Whiskey, the gray cat is Mickey. The tuxedo one is the foster cat we had, Milky.

I am a cat person. Just look at the above fluffiness, how can you not like cats?

People say that cats are evil, unloving, unfaithful, and many other bad things. They say dogs are man's best friend, faithful, loving, and so on. But is it true?

It many be true to some degree, however if you're not a cat person, you can't really understand why does the cat act the way he does.

The first thing we need to understand about cats is that they are choosing a favorite human. It is usually the one who cares about them the most, but of course many exceptions do exist.

The cats purr, dogs can't. Enough said.

somebody's dog.

Have you ever been in the situation where you had to re-home your pet? Or do you know somebody who took in an abandoned animal? Have you noticed that a dog adapts quickly to his new family, whereas the cat not so much? Sure, the cats are more sensitive to changes than dogs are, but there is more than this to it. The cat would not eat nor use the litter for a couple of days in a new home with people he doesn't know. The dog, on the other hand, might cry endlessly at night.

A cat is better at hiding his or her illness than a dog is. On the other hand, the dog can help us spot an illness, and especially cancer in our bodies, early on. Animals can alert us if there is some gas leak, if someone is at the door, they show us what being needed is like. Many of us complain about how our partners don't make us feel special, loved, or needed. We are important in our pets' life because they depend on us for food and a clean potty place. [gosh, I hate the word 'potty']

It's good to raise a pet, especially a dog if you have an active lifestyle. If you're more laid back, a kitty is a better match for you. If you can't have pets at home, maybe you can volunteer at an animal shelter.

I'm also a bird person.. or crow person.

You have no idea how better life is with an animal. Seeing its silly reactions to various stuff they find weird, or simply screaming at you for food, it's priceless. I would never exchange my current life for anything. For the next 10 years I am bound to these animals that fulfill my life. I can't see myself without them.

until next time.

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Is this really true love?

Publié le 29 Juin 2014 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #life experience, #life lesson, #love, #Uncategorized

There are forums which promote self discovery through Love. Being in love can build you up and make you feel like you belong, like you are special, like you are chosen by God and by a certain person.

And if someone is in love and discovers such a place it may give them a feeling of certainty, making them think << I wasn't wrong.. It is true!>> but is it really?

It's a bit similar to fashion so its like we have the avant-garde designers who sometimes take things too far and it becomes "avant-merde." People take things too far to often. It's the case with love, too. Sure love can be a spiritual experience but the Soul-Mate concept only holds truth if shared by the other person. You can get signs from God that tell you he or she is the one And then the truth doesn't match your expectations. And you become very disappointed Because the forums tell you: "You can have it all" Its yours For $0.99 or if you do enough work on yourself.

So you chase the (most often completely unaware) ''partner'' and the more they don't give you what you want, the more you hold on. And you send them 100 messages in 3 days telling them how things are from your POV (aka ''your truth'') ... when you haven't even studied anything spiritual before.. hmmm

People who have issues fall for unavailable people - be it emotionally or physically, but what is a love without the chaos? It's the chaos and the intensity of it all that makes the whole experience worthwhile ... and so 99% of the people have it wrong. Then they wonder why the other person doesn't feel the same

But it's because they never really felt anything or not to that intensity you did, especially if you have borderline personality disorder or bipolar. Or if you're married and you're not happy, it's always easier to live in a fantasy. But when the people close to you, tell you: "You are going to far," do listen to them.

(S)he won't complete you (s)he doesn't love you. Your "love" is delusional and borderline obsession and hating the people in the person's life only shows your own insecurities and denies your ''truth'' of being a Loving Being. Isn't it?

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