On body shaming - stop this behavior!
We all have issues with the way we look. We can never be happy with the bodies we got from Mother Nature.
We always want to modify something about it: hair color and type, eye color, get longer legs, bigger boobs or bottoms. Everything can go under the knife. And if we're labeled fat, or anything over that, we have to lose weight. WHY?
Because society got brainwashed by pretty looking images seen in movies and ads in which people on the slender side, were featured. They were portrayed as happy and functional. Now everyone seems to associate "happiness," "being functional," and being "thin" or "slender." Anything else means we failed.
I have an average looking body, and according to my BMI [which apparently isn't enough to determine just how fat a person is, but does help to some extent] I'm a person with a normal weight. I still think I could lose some 10 kg - don't worry, I would still be consider "normal" weight for my height. [In fact, I gained 7 kg in 2 months last year.]
I admit I kinda think poorly of people I see as "fat." I'm not shaming them - or at least I'm trying not to do it anymore. Because I realized I was being mean for nothing: it wasn't MY problem to deal with. THEY are overweight, NOT me. It's not me who suffers more because of extra weight, but them. They surely know it, and they don't need me to remind them of this.
I came to realize some people have health problems that make them gain weight. I get that, and I feel bad for laughing or judging those who fell victims to these health problems. IF you belong in this category, I'm sorry. I was ignorant and mean, but now I know better. Or trying to know better.
Sometime in the past month I read an article about being fat, and some of the problems associated. Well, ok I'm lying as I forgot what the article was about, but one of the comments stood out.
It was hilarious, and I wanted to be able to remember it in the future. You can read it below. Sadly, the author had no name: the author's name was either "Anonymous" or "no name." Their comment is not mean, but it can pass as such. In any case, you decide for yourself, as I copied and pasted as it was written there:
here's a test that involves just 3 steps to determine if you're fat - 1) get naked 2) get in front of a full length mirror (preferably at home but to each their own) 3) take a good look at yourself and ask "am I fat?"
here's a 4 step way to
Surely this method of deciding if you're fat or not will not always work. Some people have a distorted sight or a bad mirror. Asking others if they think you're fat or not is not helpful either: they will generally say something you would like to hear. Not very nice.
If you're a body builder or some other type of sportsman, getting on your scales to see how much you weigh, they will not tell you anything either. So how do you know if you're fat for real? (Actually you might already know deep in side if you're fat or not. Your doctor and other people might have dropped some hints about your weight.)
You might look at people who have a smaller body frame than yours for the about same height. And when you look at them you might think "how nice must it be to be able to move so fast without getting tired so soon."
But do you know what these thoughts are? Or what they represent? They represent self - body shaming. You're shaming yourself. By doing so, you allow others to shame you for your weight as well.
It is you who needs to stop the self hating and shaming first. Only then you'll feel empowered to demand this treatment from others. But this won't happen now when you read this blog entry, it won't happen overnight [though it would be really nice if it did]. It will happen ONLY when you realize the truth in these words and when you're ready to make peace with yourself.
I don't have a magic pill, but you have the magic pill. Better said, your mind does. They say that God works in mysterious ways, but the mind is possibly 10 times more mysterious.
I think it's time to think a bit about the other people. Those labeled as 'skinny' or even 'underweight.' Do you think it's easy for them to be that way? For some, yes it is, because of their build. And WE ALL need to stop shaming them for weighing too little.
They too have problems, especially those who go on extreme diets: they get easily cold when it rains or in winter. The wind could blow them away - hell, it nearly took me away on several occasions. They can get easily tired because their bodies don't have enough stored energy. The list could still continue, but it will stop here.
It is really NOT OK to laugh at other people no matter how they look. It is really not OK to tell them in a masked way, that because they don't fit into a mold they can't be happy. They can be! Many of them are! Next time, before you engage in laughing and pointing to a fat or skinny person, ask yourself:
- "What do I have to gain by pointing their body frame out, especially if I can't use magic to make them look 'better'?"
- "How does their weight affect MY life in any way?"
- "Will they instantly lose/gain enough weight so they'll look the way I want them to look, so I'll accept them?
I plan on writing some tips on how you can lose weight without an extreme diet or surgery. I also plan on writing about the reason I gained 7 kg too, sometimes soon.
Don't be a mean person, be kind and a better person!
©2013 - present Charly Cross. All rights reserved.