So this entry has to be a bit longer, than what i wrote in this diary, so 2 entries are coming your way.
my blog my rules, so ... i don't know what to tell ya.
august 25th
1. GRATEFUL I HAD ENOUGH ENERGY TO CLEAN THE FLOORS YESTERDAY.
i had a period when i was feeling very tired. maybe it was the depression controlling me.
2. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY I HAD THE INSPIRATION TO PAINT OVER A LARGE PRINT.
- sidenote: i found these 2 large prints from IKEA. I like one of them more than the other. i decided to turn the one i liked less into an actual painting, by painting over it.
of course, this wasn't done in one evening, but still. I used mixed media to cover the original image. this is an attempt for me to curb my controlling tendencies. long story that i don't think I'll talk about.
the painting is not finished yet, as i type this (feb. 14th, 2024) ... and yes, i can post in the past. yay, internet.
3. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY I FINISHED THE TASK EARLIER THAN I WAS SUPPOSED TO.
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september 4th
1. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY WITH (BECAUSE OF) THE YELLOW SKIRT WE GOT ON SATURDAY.
that day we went out to check out some second hand stores. i forgot what exactly what else we found, but that skirt is really pretty and spring-like. i don't think it still fits me because i gained some weight. maybe I'll lose the extra kgs until the time comes for the skirt time.
2. GRATEFUL ANNA TOOK THE DOGS OUT THIS MORNING.
i suppose i was really tired that day. it is helpful to sleep for longer at times.
3. GRATEFUL WE GOT A NEW TASK A FEW DAYS AGO.
this needs no more explanation.
july 2022
A\happy we went to the pool twice last week.
B\ happy i found some paper, net, and a traditional bowl. it's very cheerful and beautiful.
as you can see, the entries are posted in between the 2 days of gratitudes. this seems better for me than posting for one day or the other.
the ice cream has nothing to do with going to the pool. unfortunately. it's just a dessert we had back in july 2022. I suddenly remember that the place selling this dessert didn't have anything to carry them home. the day was very hot and they were melting quite fast, and we were FAR from home.
i had to go to a different ice cream place and demand for a container. oh, the drama i had there until the manager decided to take the money i was offering for the container. I was pretty upset and worked up over these incidents. almost 2 years later and this doesn't matter anymore. funny how life is.
but seriously, if someone offers you money, as a store, you take it: it's in your best interest.
Hi. These are blog entries that i wrote in some agenda. In an attempt at decluttering, i will digitize whatever i can, so here we go.
1. GRATEFUL AND HAPPY i FOUND A SACK FILLED WITH SHEETS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE IN A VERY GOOD CONDITION - don't get me started with consumerism, shopping, etc.
2. GRATEFUL WE CAN WORK FROM HOME - this one will forever stand.
3. GRATEFUL WE HAVE A PLACE WE CAN CALL "HOME" FROM WHICH WE CAN WORK. ;P
A. happy with the two small cacti we bought. - i managed to kill one by drowning it. the other survives. I don't have a picture of the cactus, so i used an image of yellow tulips in a vase.
I decided to make this entry as part of blogmas 2022. The challenge is for day 8 and it consists of some gift ideas. There are many ways of making a person happy, but not many think of making animals happy. I wish this would change.
Last year in the summer, my partner decided to take a walk in Carol Park. I wrote about it in this entry, if you're curious. So, we go in the park, on a certain side path. As we walk, we see a white and orange kitty. As we approach, we see the kitty has more brothers. They also had some food and water container that other people filled. We also ran to the store and bought some kitten food. which they ate.
The white and orange kitty had a white/black brother, a 3 colored sister, an all-orange and stripy sister (we first thought it was a boy), and 3 all-black brothers. We first saw just 1 of the black cats. Then, we saw the 2nd one after some time. And yet, after some more weeks, a 3rd fully-black cat cam. We only realized this because all of them were present at the same time.
In these 2 pictures, we can only see 3 of the cat brothers, eating well. They were hungry even though they had quite a bit of food. brought to them by other people.
In some ways, they were lucky because several people were passing by daily to feed them and to give them water.
The first cat that got a family
The first cat that wanted and found a family is the one that appeared in front of us, the white and orange one. he's not seen in the pics above, but below.
The image is blurry, sadly. I believe this is an iPhone 4 picture. He was maybe 2 or 3 months old at the time, and a bit on the skinny side.
When we saw him that evening when he got home, he appeared not to feel very well. Clearly, thinking he was sick, we decided we take him home, regardless of the fact that we had no bag or cat carrier on us.
It didn't matter, because he acted sick all the way to home. Once we 'quarantined' him, he sprang back to life. He was eating, and drinking, and i think he even used the litter box right away.
We didn't think we can keep him, and personally, i didn't feel much attachment towards him. :( We knew someone who wanted a cat for some time, and we also wanted to rescue as many of his brothers as possible. So, Whuay went to another home where there were no other cats to compete for human attention.
He did spend some time with us, getting used to life indoors which seemed to be all he ever wanted. I say this because once at home, he started exploring the "quarantine" room right awaya and wanting to make friends with our older cats, Whiskey and Mickey.
As far as we know, he's doing fine, he's loved, and this is what matters. I do miss him now that i looked at the pics i have of him.
The 2nd cat getting a family
The second cat finding a family is the white and black one seen in the first image. This is because we still went every other day to give the kitties water and food. That summer was brutal, with very high temperatures.
His current name is Churro, but when we first saw him, we called him Oreo because of his color combination.
I have basically 2 memories of this kitty in the park, though we saw him more often than that. One time, when we went to feed them, he was up on the tree, trying to sharpen his claws. We knew he is a very playful fella right then and there. He was absolutely adorable.
The other memory i have of him from the park is from one evening when 2 young girls came to feed the kitties. However, this is not all they did: they also left with this kitty but said they'd bring him back.
Why did they take him, you ask? it's because they wanted to play with him in a safer environment. They couldn't keep him though, as it was their parents who had the last word on the matter.
We got quite mad with the girls because they gave Churro, at the time Oreo, fake hopes of a home. :( One of the next times we went to feed the kitties, only Churro/Oreo was there, all alone. He looked sad and lonely. We didn't think twice about it, we just grabbed him and went home with him, after leaving food for his brothers.
Look how handsome he is! Sadly, the red bow didn't last for long, but it sure fitted him. However, the surprized face expression persists, and he's just amazing!
The 3rd cat coming home with us
The 3rd cat that came home with us is probably the black one in the first image. Why do i say probably? Because they were a total of 3 black cat brothers! proof below! The black cat we first saw got named Shadow, and then all the black kitties received the same name because we couldn't tell them apart.
There are 2 things i need to mention:
we didn't know there are 3 black cats from the start
the 3rd cat didn't come home last year like his brothers, but this year
I forgot how many of the kitties we saw the very first time we went. I do remember that we were surprised to see a completely black cat among the others. Then, one evening, we saw a 2nd completely black cat. Again, we were surprised and felt as if someone played a trick on us.
But, then! a 3RD FULLY BLACK kitty appeared from nowhere! They were there all 3 at once, as seen in the pic above, and all of them were boys. One of them was more scared of us than the others, and another one more friendly.
Another memory i have regarding these black brothers is that one time, one evening, just 1 of them was there out of all the remaining brothers. Not only this but the one that came to eat was one of the friendlier black brothers. So, i managed to touch him and cuddle him.
I believe that was the evening he followed us through the park, almost close to the entry point we use. He was also crying/meowing and looking sad. T_T We were certain he wanted to come home with us. We ... just ... thought we couldn't deal with so many cats. We felt really bad and sorry we didn't take him with us that day.
Almost a year passed by. During these months we continued to take food to the kitties. however, sometime in spring, they disappeared. The area where they were being fed was demolished further - it used to be a restaurant type of location that caught fire at some point.
This led the kitties to scatter, we think, or perhaps someone took 2 of the remaining cats, leaving the 3 black brothers. Then, not even they came to being fed anymore. So, we stopped going seeing that there were no more cats to feed.
But life is twisted and at the beginning of September '22 we went again just on a whim. And we found Shadow! He recognized us by our voices and came to eat and drink. The next day we went with the cat cage in tow, hoping to find and catch him. And we were lucky! he was very easy to "catch" and now he has a furreverr home and he adapted VERY well to his new environment.
In the middle, is Scotch the dog that i haven't introduced yet. We currently have 4 cats, a dog, and a crow. Life is stressful with so many pets, but we are very happy to have rescued 3 kitties out of maybe a total of 7 brothers.
tiredness through the roof, I dream of a world others do not know exists.
long blonde locks can soothe my soul in times of crisis.
You'll never find a more supportive and kind person in your life.
Their generosity is limitless, and so is their patience.
one thing they can't do, nor anyone else can is
To take your pain away.
Sometimes i feel like i'm in a dream.
The pain reminds me that all this is real.
Buddhist beliefs don't ring with me, but it doesn't mean they're not real.
Mental wellbeing is overlooked and not taken seriously.
If you feel in a dark spot, at the bottom of the bottle or the barrel,
or even at the bottom of the Eye of London, hang in there.
It can't rain forever, and things will soon change.
We're stronger than we think.
All we need to keep on going is just one person.
Not more. one person who believes and supports us and what we do.
anyone else is irrelevant.
Perhaps normal folks don't have breakdowns.
Maybe this makes us not be normal.
But we shouldn't care: we're all unique.
no, not snowflakes. unique.
Is there something wrong with you?
Do you want to change and improve it?
that's fantastic. if not, that's fine.
Back in the dark bottom. not seeing anyone around. feeling all alone.
cold and wet. unable to move a muscle or articulate a single word.
my throat is scorching dry, unable to think of speak.
plop! ... plop! ... plop! ...
water drips in the distance.
too far for either of us to reach it.
500 lashes on the back mean nothing at this point.
they minimize the pain in the chest.
I'm sharing these images because i'm wondering why did they stop printing cards with such pretty art?!
Unfortunately, i don't have all the court cards from both decks. I took pictures of the cards i found, and i'm sharing them with the world. There was only one ace too. The aces also used to have really nice art back in those days.
... it's that you don't want to do it. There's a difference there.
Hello everyone!
You probably wonder what's this title all about, though it should be self-explanatory. Yet, i need to rant and get angry at certain people and at myself as well, and my blog is the best place and way to do this.
It's less damaging and maybe, just maybe .... maybe?
Outcast - Miss Jackson video still; copyrights belong to the creators/band
someone [including myself] will understand this, and stop saying "i can't" and just admit you don't *fducking* want to do whatever there must be done.
rollback film to what started this rant
Except there's no film to roll back, and i have to explain the situation. if you don't want to read the backstory, feel free to scroll down to the next title.
This past week [10 to 16 of july 2022] we went out on a very hot day for some beauty treatment. Seeing it was so hot, we decided to have some ice cream, though all we wanted was to drink something.
We found this *NEW* ice cream place uptown that used a chimney cake, aka Kürtőskalács, as the cone for the ice cream. There aren't many flavors of ice cream to choose from, but their names were really cool: fashion vibe or strawberry vibe. This is what they look like:
As you can (or maybe not so much), the fashion one (on the right), is actually cocoa ice cream with pieces of chocolate, and with the chimney cake covered in cocoa powder. That one was my ice cream. The other one was anna’s and she didn’t want to eat it right away.
Taking it home was troublesome for this Vibe place didn’t have anything to carry the ice cream in. Luckily, the area has plenty of other options for ice creams and many have containers for takeout.
So, we went to the nearest one, and I asked for one such container. Not for free, mind you. And the cashier says “oh, sorry, I don’t have containers!” They were piled RIGHT behind her! Everyone could see them!
I had to point out that my ice cream was melting and making a mess in her store. That was when she decided to ask her supervisor what to do. This situation turned my into THAT customer that says "can i speak with a manager? :) "
‘Can’t’ - reserved for very few instances
1. PTSD or phobias
These are mental health issues that are difficult to ’cure’ or overcome. They simply incapacitate the sufferer from doing whatever caused them to suffer in the first place.
Not everyone might suffer to the same degree from the same issue. For instance, I can’t watch scenes with folks trapped in tight spaces: I feel as if I am in their shoes and I start panicking and hyperventilating. Others in the same situation as me might have a different reaction.
2. Lack of knowledge
Let's say, you just start learning something new just for fun, or for whatever reason. Someone asks you to help them with a project in your new area of study. All sounds nice, and they even offer to pay for your service.
The problem is when they ask for help on something you didn't get to study yet or is a bit too difficult for you to understand.
3. Other plans
Let's say you might plan on meeting with your friends a few days in advance, but then you forget or something else comes up that needs your urgent attention.
In such a case, you clearly have to say "I can't, something else came up that is more important." You don't really need to explain more than this unless it's a close friend.
4. You're simply unable to do something
This usually applies to those with a disability. Let's assume you have to climb some stairs, but you're bound to a wheelchair and there's no ramp available. Sadly, there still are places in such a state. It's not as if you're going to crawl to wherever the stairs go.
It also applies to doing something that goes against your beliefs. This can be related to consuming alcohol, smoking (anything), sleeping with someone to whom you're not married, etc, etc.
Should any of these be the case, it's PERFECTLY fine and acceptable to say "I can't" and you could explain why as well unless it's visually noticeable.
Hey dear readers [is there anyone reading this, though?]
I sadly have to inform you that this week there will be no posts. :( I have some tasks to work on, and I ran out of time to prepare anything at all for the blog.
I may post something on Sunday, but don't hold your breath.
Life is a journey. Or so I have been told. ObscureJourney is a blog about My life, the things I experience and learn. I hope I can learn from my mistakes. The blog used to known as "TheOwnerTravelsTo" and i had a separate blog called "CookingMyExperience".
The purpose of obscurejourney blog is to share positive ideas and experiences -hopefully- while showing you that you don't need a lot to be happy.
Not all failures mean the end of the world. They mean that whatever you were trying out wasn't meant to happen:
it wasn't your life's journey. We all have a particular life journey, even if we don't discover it from the start. But remember:
You will discover your path! Do you think I discovered mine? Perhaps I did, but I have yet to fully walk it. I know writing is part of it.
Credits?
All content is created by me, with my silly mobile phone and its camera. Unless otherwise stated, the following applies:
All blog entries are written by me, Charly Cross -this is a pen name, unless mentioned otherwise.
Pictures are mine - especially if I signed them with a (c) and my blog's name (or former name of the blog).
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