Publié le 30 Juillet 2017

RIP Chester. I wish you found peace. Sadly you'll never get to read this. :( This entry is beyond serious. Depression goes hand in hand with suicide. These two topics are generally taboo. But we need to talk about them, we need to learn how to read the signs. And we need to be more understanding of those suffering from these ... I'm not sure how to call them.

 

If you're like me, you probably have no idea what depression is. Or how does it feel. How it REALLY feels.

 

Sometime last year I read about a woman who went to a hair salon wanting to buy some hair products: her hair was a rat's nest, all tangled up. Poor woman thought that by getting expensive hair care the tangles will magically go away: they would not. Only a careful hand with a comb can do something about that. One of the employees stopped her from shopping and instead invited her for a de-tangling session. The woman only managed to show up a few weeks later after several attempts at making an appointment and then canceling or not showing up. the woman was severely depressed. so much she didn't care to wash or comb her hair.

 

Depression is also walking down the street and not realizing a car is about to hit you, or not caring if it does [this happened to me, but I think it was a mistake since i was really upset that day]. Sometimes I get the blues, and it can last for some days. But then it passes.

 

But you know what? Depression is like a weed that keep growing back, like some mold you don't notice because it forms behind some furniture. And it spreads slowly. slowly but steady. And when you finally see it, the only solution is to completely remove the wall.

 

Depression is like a worm in an apple, in a way: you can't know the apple is rotten until you cut it open. Depressed people are similar because depression is not only tired eyes and black eyeliner. But there are signs. Signs that a trained eye - or another sufferer- is able to see. Fake smiles, flimsy happiness that doesn't last more than a few hours.

 

I know depression because my partner is depressed. What scares me the most is that they have almost the same mannerisms as Chester in this short clip. Not to mention a very similar way of talking, intonation and all.

 

I just watched a few Linkin Park videos. In the end for instance, clearly describes depression and even suicide. I still have a difficult time realizing he's gone: it's unreal. He didn't really mean anything to me, but ... I can't realize what it is.

 

I even have a confession to make. I knew he would die - just didn't know how. I have some sort of a 6th sense, or psychic abilities, if you will - that's why I started posting tarot interpretations. Sometimes I just KNOW things. A few months back I started watching their Breaking the Habit video. In the middle of one session I heard a voice telling me he will die. I brushed it off. I am not sure I would have been able to prevent it. But those close to him could have!

 

People NEED to start learning about depression more. To recognize it, and also how they can help those suffering from it. Depression doesn't pass with pills - they just might make things bearable. A therapist doesn't always help - because they're also human, and they're not always good at being a therapist.

 

What could help more is for friends and family:

  • not to push the sufferer into unpleasant situations, by saying "oh, come on, come with us!" Instead something like "if you change your mind, we're at...."
  • not to act condescending, by saying "oh, you'll get over it!" NO they wont! it's not the blues, not just sadness, but deep shit. so deep your brain can't comprehend it. A "hang in there" or "i'm here" is sometimes much more helpful. this attitude gets them One Step Closer to the edge..
  • check on the person 24/7, like on an infant, like first time parents do.
  • read forums about mental disorders: they generally talk about depression as well. they can learn more about how sufferers hide it, how to deal with it, and so on.
  • understand that for a depressed person, ANYTHING can be a trigger for suicide - it doesn't matter how small it is in their peer's eyes. It could be as small as a Papercut.
  • not to blame the depressed person. see the point above.  telling them calmly something is wrong, but that it's not serious and it can quite easily be fixed is a better approach.
  • thanking the depressed person for everything they do: joining them for breakfast, for a group activity, or anything they have a really hard time doing.

 

Please, if you know someone depressed, DO NOT laugh at them, do not tell them they're weak or cowards when they 'casually' talk about suicide. Most definitely DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tell them to 'just do it" because in that moment you just took their life away! YOU killed that person! Morally, it won't be a suicide anymore, but an act of taking another person's life! If you think you can live with that hanging on your conscience, then you're a psychopath and you're a danger to society, and need to be locked up!

 

All those people complaining Linkin Park's music changed, THEY KILLED Chester. and sadly, I saw MANY people lately acting the same way: laughing at various popular people, and thinking of themselves they're better than said popular people.

 

I hope Chester's family and friends are strong enough to get over this tragedy.


(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. all rights reserved.

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Publié le 23 Juillet 2017

I like painting my nails these days. It's relaxing and fun. I tried challenging myself to see for how long can I keep my manicure. The answer? not too long.

I suspect it may have something to do with using cheap polishes, or not being a professional, or even with the fact that I use my fingers and nails a little too much.

In any case, this entry will have quite a few nail pictures, with little explanations.

FIRST ATTEMPT - remember I'm not a nail professional. days 1 through 5

 

My failed Nail Polish ChallengeMy failed Nail Polish Challenge
My failed Nail Polish Challenge
My failed Nail Polish ChallengeMy failed Nail Polish Challenge

Oh the horror, the chipping started. Challenge aborted. LOL

SECOND ATTEMPT

These are days 1 through 4. I guess, I really couldn't do more...

nailpolish by WJcon cosmeticsnailpolish by WJcon cosmetics
nailpolish by WJcon cosmeticsnailpolish by WJcon cosmetics

nailpolish by WJcon cosmetics

They must have started chipping, or I forgot to take pictures. I forgot why I aborted this attempt. 

THIRD ATTEMPT

oh, I need glasses. I'm short sighted.oh, I need glasses. I'm short sighted.

oh, I need glasses. I'm short sighted.

This is where I gave up. One of the reasons I gave up was that I forgot to take pictures of my nails.

BONUS PICTURES:
these weren't part of challenges.these weren't part of challenges.

these weren't part of challenges.

And if you want to see more pictures, that don't have nails in them, checkout my instagram account!

 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Rédigé par Charly Cross

Publié dans #beauty, #grooming, #life experience

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Publié le 16 Juillet 2017

Sadly, this is not a recent occurrence. It happened in January of 2015, most likely on the 1st, maybe 2nd. I apparently didn't write about it right away, but I can't be sure why. This entry is an identical reproduction of what I wrote in my handwritten diary/dream journal - yes, i record in it both dreams and various daily life that affected me in some way. Here it goes:

 

I believe this was the date. It was pretty late at night and I went to buy some stuff we still needed.

 

On my way home, when I was passing the street across [note: at the traffic lights, with no incoming cars], I suddenly lost sense of time and place. Reaching the other side I realized I had no idea where I was, what time it was, nor what was I doing there. It felt as if several centuries passed by me in matter of seconds. 

Reaching home, A. told me she felt the same.

 

I'm disappointed I didn't write more regarding what happened, however I have a rather vivid memory of that night. So what happened was this:

 

I was in the middle of the street when suddenly I couldn't move my body, everything started spinning, and I SAW how the night turned into light, people walking by me, cars too, and everything was happening so-so fast. Whatever I saw was passing by me so fast, I felt like in a tunnel - everything and everyone was warping around me. It also felt like a HUGE amount of time warped..

 

Gotta mention that it was a snowy January that year, and it snowed since December the previous year. While time was warping the snow was also gone, the cold sensation wasn't there anymore [as if the snow was fake, like in a dream]...

 

And when I made it to the other side of the street everything seemed "back to normal" but I'm not sure it was or that it is. I wonder why did I have that short memory loss? I couldn't even figure out who I was, nor my surroundings, nothing at all. 

 

I was lucky there was no incoming traffic, like mentioned earlier, though most likely they would have honked or detour me.

 

The warping tunnel was not going back in time, nor going forwards in time... maybe more like a repetition of everything that happened till that moment?? And if we see time like a straight street along which we walk, what i saw was more like a street to the right that we suddenly decide to take to reach a street that is parallel to the one we were walking on - and on this side street we decide to walk like crabs instead of walking like humans. (I'm not sure if this makes any sense.)


 

I wrote this entry because I experienced the Mandela Effect - we all know now he died in 2013, but I remember him dying back in the 1990s (maybe in the 1980s, in prison), either way not in 2013.

 

For me, the title of the movie is "Interview with A vampire." I can't talk about anything else that people usually associate with the Mandela Effect because I wasn't exposed to them. I didn't have books with those Bernstein Bears [note: my auto-correct suggested this spelling, I'm not sure which one is the correct one with "a" or with "e"), I didn't watch Star Wars, nor Forrest Gump, and I wasn't exposed to any products, events, or commercials others include in ME.


©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Rédigé par Charly Cross

Publié dans #Mandela Effect, #ME, #reality change, #time slip

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Publié le 9 Juillet 2017

If you read my last few post, you might remember I'm trying to bullet-journal, and to also introduce some workout sessions in my life. Of course, since I'm notoriously lazy and sometimes I have projects to work on, working out daily is impossible.

And that's OK.

And it you also want to work out more, you came to the right place, because I will try my best to encourage you on your journey. I'm not a trainer, nor a health guru - but you already know that. I'm just sharing my experiences to help others that also struggle like me.

The biggest mistake I noticed I made was to expect myself to workout daily, the way I have the impression others do. Others, in this context, are various bloggers and vloggers I either follow or sometimes stumble upon. And you know what? I'm pretty sure this is wrong,  because we sell dreams. While my intention is NOT to sell dreams, I can't know who will come across my blog one day, reads it, and thinks "oh, I wish I was more like this author" [I secretly hope for this, to be honest]. Personally, I wish my writing style was more funny, similar to that of the guy behind My Crazy Chinese Family blog - but now I'm going off topic. Let's return.

WHAT ARE MY RESULTS SO FAR

Last month I managed to workout during 11 days, out of 30. I'm not really impressed, but I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to do it at all.

This month I only worked out 2 days so far. I want to improve the number, but we'll see how things go.

My workout sessions lasted about 30 minutes and less. I get out of breath very fast, my heart pumps like mad, and I have to stop or else I feel like fainting. It's OK to stop your routine when you feel like fainting! You also don't have to work out for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time!

Most importantly, when I was done, I would feel happy and proud of myself. Something to do with my body releasing more endorphins. Feeling more happy can motivate a person to keep at this new found routine.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WORK OUT?

There are many reasons for people to be interested in starting this journey: to get back in shape, to prevent weight gain, to participate in a marathon, to simply change their lifestyle, for health related reasons, and even because they think they should.

So, how about you? Me, I could subscribe to all the reasons above, except the marathon. I simply can't run it makes me feel like veins and nerves are breaking in my brain, I can't see well anymore, and faint. It's really bad. [on a side note, I see many people running downstairs, back and forth. in a way I feel I should do the same, and I feel guilty because I can't. How silly is this? it's not like anyone knows...]

My advice to you is not to compare yourself to others, because everyone is unique. And if you feel fine without working out, nobody can tell you otherwise.

Challenges you might face

Starting and getting into it is the most difficult part. Also, having a busy schedule can make you feel like you don't have enough time for this. These are my 2 main reasons why I only worked out for 11 days last month. I hope to change this.

Having to wear appropriate clothing that you don't own. Sure, it's better to work out in workout pants, but honestly, as long as your clothes allow you to make any movement you need to, then it doesn't really matter. you could be working out naked, but please do so only in the privacy of your house.

Speaking of where to workout, many think it can only be done at the gym. Or they think a gym subscription will motivate them into visiting it. Truth is, this is unlikely. Instead, stretching a bit after you wake up right beside your bed is perfectly fine. There are countless routines that can be done at home or even outdoors.

Now, if you want to have more muscles, you'll want a gym membership and to be strict abut visiting it. A personal trainer will be very helpful as well.

WHY DON'T I SEE RESULTS?

Results don't appear overnight. We're somehow programmed into thinking results appear instantly, but this is the biggest lie we could ever believe. 11 days of working out and a reduced amount of food consumed in June [mostly because the heat took away my appetite] made me lose 1kg. It's not a lot, but slower results seem to be the ones that stick more.

So results will appear only if we're consistent. Also it depends on why we start, on our somatic body type, and the type of routine we try. My somatic body type is the one that gains weight the easiest and has the hardest time losing it - and I forgot what's called. oops.

CONCLUSION

Whether you decide to exercise more or not is fine! whatever you will wear to do so is fine as long as you're free to move as you like. Not doing what others do, is also perfectly fine and OK. Don't do something just because you think you must: you don't.

I hope you'll feel more inspired to live your life as you please because sometimes it takes courage to do so.


© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

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Rédigé par Charly Cross

Publié dans #advice, #health, #tips, #working out

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Publié le 2 Juillet 2017

You might already know I own 2 cats, but I will talk about the younger one for he likes me a little more than the older one. You want to know a secret? You can also make your cat like you more than the rest of the family [if you have a cat, that is].

DISCLAIMER: this method is not 100% foolproof, and is more successful on kittens. It is still worth giving a try - hopefully your cat is not a the spawn of the devil and can be [gently] handled. i credit expert cat owners with the discovery of the method.

I hope everyone planning on getting a new cat or kitten will find this short entry a bit useful. If you dislike cats, I hope you will change your mind about them a bit.

So this is Mikey, the younger cat - he turns 6 years old on July 4th. I cannot tell you how attached to me he is.

in january 2016in january 2016

in january 2016

To put it into perspective, he knows when I arrive home, he doesn't let his older brother come to me, he makes sure to leave his scent on me whenever he can [even when I'm in the bathroom], and he cried a lot last year when I would be gone to my 9-5 jobs. That's not all, he also gained a lot of weight last weight: it seems he ate his feelings [and i feel bad for it].

One of the ways he showed his affection was by 'cleaning' me while i slept - my face, hands, arms, hair, whatever he could. His older brother never did it. He also loves sleeping next to or on top of me.

November-December 2015November-December 2015

November-December 2015

So, how come he prefers me?

You must know I got him when he was a kitten, and I basically stole him from his family and mother. I don't think he was fully weaned, but he was eating cat food.

When I got him, I had to act like cat-mom, and make him relieve himself. This is easily done by holding the cat over the litter and gently rub her behind with a damp towel - it should have the same texture as a cat's tongue. Your cat will believe it's her mother taking care of stuff, and in a way will think you're said mother - your scent is all around after all, and her mother's scent is not. It's almost natural that you'll be replacing her mom at this point.

There is one more important step you should not ignore, when going through this process: "burying the gifts" AKA the cat pee and poop. Gently grab one of the cat's front paws [or hands if you prefer] and move it from the front towards the back, while touching the sand [or litter bed. we use a special type of sand.. bentonite, clay? I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I recommend silica type because it disappears, so you throw away less stuff.] The movement should imitate the one the cat does when she covers her waste.

cat sand we can find in Romaniacat sand we can find in Romania

cat sand we can find in Romania

This paw movement should be done right after wiping her behind with the damp towel, even if she doesn't relieve herself. This is one of the best methods to teach a cat where 'the toilet' is, no matter the age. It is especially useful when changing houses and getting a new cat.

If for some reason you consider changing the type of litter, make sure to do it gradually, so that the cat will get used to the new type slowly - or better said so she won't realize. if you change it all of a sudden [because you couldn't find the one you usually get] try this method I described above.

Cats can be and are just as loving as dogs, perhaps even more so. This is why an older cat will take some time to get used to new humans, if re-homed. She might act distant with her first humans, but maybe she's generally more distant. Remember that not all cats are the same, just like not all dogs are the same.

I hope you found this article a little helpful.


© Charly Cross 2013- present. All rights reserved.

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Rédigé par Charly C.

Publié dans #animals, #cats, #cleaning, #life experience, #pet training, #pets, #tips

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