advice

I started writing such small lists down to remind me and to pull me out of the misery i was in after losing Mickey. We still strongly miss him. 

1. GRATEFUL I FOUND AN IKEA TABLE - yes, found at the trash. home with us it came. 

2. GRATEFUL TO THE NEIGHBOR FOR GIVING ME THOSE MATERIALS FOR PAINTING AND OTHER PROJECTS.

3. RATEFUL I HAVE THIS AGENDA/BLOG TO WRITE IN WITH MY FAVORITE FOUNTAIN PEN. 

a. happy we swam a lot at the pool

b. happy i painted the table - i don't care it doesn't look perfect. 

I have a business idea that I'm sure will work out. <3

I hope this blog entry will give you a bit of hope to find small bits of happiness and gratitude in every small thing you encounter. 

I think I'm back for some time. i missed my blog. 

(c) 2013 - present 

Hello there! 

I decided to make this entry as part of blogmas 2022. The challenge is for day 8 and it consists of some gift ideas. There are many ways of making a person happy, but not many think of making animals happy. I wish this would change. 

Several entries ago, i wrote about adopting animals. Read one of them here and read the other one here.

Last year in the summer, my partner decided to take a walk in Carol Park. I wrote about it in this entry, if you're curious. So, we go in the park, on a certain side path. As we walk, we see a white and orange kitty. As we approach, we see the kitty has more brothers. They also had some food and water container that other people filled. We also ran to the store and bought some kitten food. which they ate. 

The white and orange kitty had a white/black brother, a 3 colored sister, an all-orange and stripy sister (we first thought it was a boy), and 3 all-black brothers. We first saw just 1 of the black cats. Then, we saw the 2nd one after some time. And yet, after some more weeks, a 3rd fully-black cat cam. We only realized this because all of them were present at the same time. 

In these 2 pictures, we can only see 3 of the cat brothers, eating well. They were hungry even though they had quite a bit of food. brought to them by other people. 

In some ways, they were lucky because several people were passing by daily to feed them and to give them water.

The first cat that got a family

The first cat that wanted and found a family is the one that appeared in front of us, the white and orange one. he's not seen in the pics above, but below. 

The image is blurry, sadly. I believe this is an iPhone 4 picture. He was maybe 2 or 3 months old at the time, and a bit on the skinny side. 

When we saw him that evening when he got home, he appeared not to feel very well. Clearly, thinking he was sick, we decided we take him home, regardless of the fact that we had no bag or cat carrier on us. 

It didn't matter, because he acted sick all the way to home. Once we 'quarantined' him, he sprang back to life. He was eating, and drinking, and i think he even used the litter box right away. 

We didn't think we can keep him, and personally, i didn't feel much attachment towards him. :( We knew someone who wanted a cat for some time, and we also wanted to rescue as many of his brothers as possible. So, Whuay went to another home where there were no other cats to compete for human attention. 

He did spend some time with us, getting used to life indoors which seemed to be all he ever wanted. I say this because once at home, he started exploring the "quarantine" room right awaya and wanting to make friends with our older cats, Whiskey and Mickey.

As far as we know, he's doing fine, he's loved, and this is what matters. I do miss him now that i looked at the pics i have of him. 

The 2nd cat getting a family

The second cat finding a family is the white and black one seen in the first image. This is because we still went every other day to give the kitties water and food. That summer was brutal, with very high temperatures. 

His current name is Churro, but when we first saw him, we called him Oreo because of his color combination. 

I have basically 2 memories of this kitty in the park, though we saw him more often than that. One time, when we went to feed them, he was up on the tree, trying to sharpen his claws. We knew he is a very playful fella right then and there. He was absolutely adorable.

The other memory i have of him from the park is from one evening when 2 young girls came to feed the kitties. However, this is not all they did: they also left with this kitty but said they'd bring him back. 

Why did they take him, you ask? it's because they wanted to play with him in a safer environment. They couldn't keep him though, as it was their parents who had the last word on the matter. 

We got quite mad with the girls because they gave Churro, at the time Oreo, fake hopes of a home. :( One of the next times we went to feed the kitties, only Churro/Oreo was there, all alone. He looked sad and lonely. We didn't think twice about it, we just grabbed him and went home with him, after leaving food for his brothers.

Look how handsome he is! Sadly, the red bow didn't last for long, but it sure fitted him. However, the surprized face expression persists, and he's just amazing! 

The 3rd cat coming home with us

The 3rd cat that came home with us is probably the black one in the first image. Why do i say probably? Because they were a total of 3 black cat brothers! proof below! The black cat we first saw got named Shadow, and then all the black kitties received the same name because we couldn't tell them apart. 

There are 2 things i need to mention:

• we didn't know there are 3 black cats from the start
• the 3rd cat didn't come home last year like his brothers, but this year

I forgot how many of the kitties we saw the very first time we went. I do remember that we were surprised to see a completely black cat among the others. Then, one evening, we saw a 2nd completely black cat. Again, we were surprised and felt as if someone played a trick on us. 

But, then! a 3RD FULLY BLACK kitty appeared from nowhere! They were there all 3 at once, as seen in the pic above, and all of them were boys. One of them was more scared of us than the others, and another one more friendly. 

Another memory i have regarding these black brothers is that one time, one evening, just 1 of them was there out of all the remaining brothers. Not only this but the one that came to eat was one of the friendlier black brothers. So, i managed to touch him and cuddle him. 

I believe that was the evening he followed us through the park, almost close to the entry point we use. He was also crying/meowing and looking sad. T_T We were certain he wanted to come home with us. We ... just ... thought we couldn't deal with so many cats. We felt really bad and sorry we didn't take him with us that day.

Almost a year passed by. During these months we continued to take food to the kitties. however, sometime in spring, they disappeared. The area where they were being fed was demolished further - it used to be a restaurant type of location that caught fire at some point. 

This led the kitties to scatter, we think, or perhaps someone took 2 of the remaining cats, leaving the 3 black brothers. Then, not even they came to being fed anymore. So, we stopped going seeing that there were no more cats to feed. 

But life is twisted and at the beginning of September '22 we went again just on a whim. And we found Shadow! He recognized us by our voices and came to eat and drink. The next day we went with the cat cage in tow, hoping to find and catch him. And we were lucky! he was very easy to "catch" and now he has a furreverr home and he adapted VERY well to his new environment. 

In the middle, is Scotch the dog that i haven't introduced yet. We currently have 4 cats, a dog, and a crow. Life is stressful with so many pets, but we are very happy to have rescued 3 kitties out of maybe a total of 7 brothers. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Do you want to buy me a coffee? this is a 1-time donation, thank you very much!

... it's that you don't want to do it. There's a difference there.

Hello everyone!

You probably wonder what's this title all about, though it should be self-explanatory. Yet, i need to rant and get angry at certain people and at myself as well, and my blog is the best place and way to do this. 

It's less damaging and maybe, just maybe .... maybe? 

someone [including myself] will understand this, and stop saying "i can't" and just admit you don't *fducking* want to do whatever there must be done. 

Except there's no film to roll back, and i have to explain the situation. if you don't want to read the backstory, feel free to scroll down to the next title. 

This past week [10 to 16 of july 2022] we went out on a very hot day for some beauty treatment. Seeing it was so hot, we decided to have some ice cream, though all we wanted was to drink something.

We found this *NEW* ice cream place uptown that used a chimney cake, aka Kürtőskalács, as the cone for the ice cream. There aren't many flavors of ice cream to choose from, but their names were really cool: fashion vibe or strawberry vibe. This is what they look like: 

As you can (or maybe not so much), the fashion one (on the right), is actually cocoa ice cream with pieces of chocolate, and with the chimney cake covered in cocoa powder. That one was my ice cream. The other one was anna’s and she didn’t want to eat it right away. 

Taking it home was troublesome for this Vibe place didn’t have anything to carry the ice cream in. Luckily, the area has plenty of other options for ice creams and many have containers for takeout.

So, we went to the nearest one, and I asked for one such container. Not for free, mind you. And the cashier says “oh, sorry, I don’t have containers!” They were piled RIGHT behind her! Everyone could see them!

I had to point out that my ice cream was melting and making a mess in her store. That was when she decided to ask her supervisor what to do. This situation turned my into THAT customer that says "can i speak with a manager? :) " 

‘Can’t’ - reserved for very few instances 

These are mental health issues that are difficult to ’cure’ or overcome. They simply incapacitate the sufferer from doing whatever caused them to suffer in the first place. 

Not everyone might suffer to the same degree from the same issue. For instance, I can’t watch scenes with folks trapped in tight spaces: I feel as if I am in their shoes and I start panicking and hyperventilating. Others in the same situation as me might have a different reaction. 

Let's say, you just start learning something new just for fun, or for whatever reason. Someone asks you to help them with a project in your new area of study. All sounds nice, and they even offer to pay for your service.

The problem is when they ask for help on something you didn't get to study yet or is a bit too difficult for you to understand.  

Let's say you might plan on meeting with your friends a few days in advance, but then you forget or something else comes up that needs your urgent attention. 

In such a case, you clearly have to say "I can't, something else came up that is more important." You don't really need to explain more than this unless it's a close friend. 

This usually applies to those with a disability. Let's assume you have to climb some stairs, but you're bound to a wheelchair and there's no ramp available. Sadly, there still are places in such a state. It's not as if you're going to crawl to wherever the stairs go. 

It also applies to doing something that goes against your beliefs. This can be related to consuming alcohol, smoking (anything), sleeping with someone to whom you're not married, etc, etc.

Should any of these be the case, it's PERFECTLY fine and acceptable to say "I can't" and you could explain why as well unless it's visually noticeable. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Do you want to buy me a coffee? this is a 1-time donation, thank you very much!

The first image belongs to Outcast and is shared for educational purposes.

Hello, everyone! 

It’s half-hour to midnight as i start typing this. I wrote several entries before, related more or less to this topic here and here.

Self-love is difficult. I should know because for the longest time i felt ‘i wasn’t enough.’ Enough what, you say? Enough anything. Especially not good enough. 

i know im not the only one feeling this way. Last year i finally accepted i needed help to get out of the dark spot i was in. This was also difficult for me to accept. 

What helped me to finally accept this was Anna. Her support was and still is beyond what words can describe. She’s a blessing to me. 

So, i started ‘therapy’ and treatment, at first for anxiety. The treatment for depression started some 3 months later. I feel MUCH better. The results started to manifest some 3 weeks into the treatment. 

I'm not fully cured or fixed. I don’t know if i ever will, but who knows. I hope i'm getting there or that i'm on the right path. 

No self-love

It’s hard to love thyself when you feel you’re not enough. like i said, I constantly felt this way, even before i showed no signs of bad anxiety or depression. I used to doubt myself, not feel confident enough when going out, and always feel like an impostor even when i was going to buy a bottle of soda. 

The few times i felt better when out and about, was when i was wearing what i perceived as "unusual" clothes. This was related to what the majority wears: office clothing, casual, smart/casual, and sports. 

So, my sense of "unusual" is something that could be remotely associated with subcultures, like for instance goths or rockers. i also like the avant-garde, urban decay, and futuristic styles. 

At home, the "not enough"/impostor feeling, weirdly enough, made me procrastinate. Did i know this doesn't help with anything at all? Logically, yes, of course, i did. However, knowing this didn't and doesn't magically motivate me to become (pro)active. 

At night, i used to have many dark thoughts as well as heavy guilt that was not mine to bear. These dark thoughts and guilt, i don't want to talk about. At least not now. i hope i never will be forced to talk about them. 

How can a person riddled with dark thoughts and guilt, love themselves? I have no idea, because i couldn't. 

I eventually got rid of these thoughts and guilt through prayer. I prayed with a lot of hope and pain. That evening i felt a tall dark human-like figure entering the bedroom and sitting on my bed. i didn't feel any evilness from it, just calmness.

Like a black hole, it sucked all those thoughts away. They never returned, or at least not to that extent. But this was still pretty far from ending everything. The scars are still there. At least one wound didn't completely heal. i don't know if it will ever. 

In time, all these along with other issues, like the water problem, got me in the dark spot of depression. 

it took some time for me to admit this and to accept the treatment. But everything changed once i did. 

Some self-love

The antidepressant made me not care whether i'm enough or not. I don't feel like an impostor anymore, and i feel more self-secure about everything. Well, maybe not about every little thing, but, you know, most things. 

Even more important than this, i can laugh! I can laugh so much more easily. Before the treatment, laughing was some sort of luxury. Everyone could do it but me. And it feels natural, normal ... GOOD! 

So, what does self-love have to do with anything? it does. Almost everything, actually. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. How? if you don't love yourself, or take care of yourself, you can't take care of those who you say you love. 

Why? Because you'll stretch yourself left, right, up, and down, again and again. At a certain moment, you'll stretch too much and snap, if you're unlucky. I was unlucky in '16 but we don't talk about that year this way.  

When you take care of yourself, you won't stretch yourself out to the breaking point. You have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy for your mental wellbeing. Not stretching yourself too much means your chances of snapping are much lower. This means you can be around for those who you love and who love you back, for longer.

…forgiving oneself…

Self-forgiveness is an important part of self love. It’s well known that nobody can criticise you more than you can. We often have the impression that we made some huge and horrible mistakes regarding some small stuff. Others might say otherwise if you were to ask them. 

And you know what? They may be correct at least some 99% of times. So, if there arevery high chances for them to forgive you, why don’t YOU try to firgive yourself? It’s NOT your fault for what happened. Surely you did your best with the tools and knowledge you had. Or you simply didn’t know any better. 

You need to understand that we are just humans and all we can do is trying our best. When we make mistakes, we can apologize, learn from them, and try to fix them. 

This post was written on different days, so now, when I post it I’m not sure what was the original point I wanted to reach. I do hope it will be of some help for some of you out there. 
 

See you next time ~~~~

Sigh.. 

I just can't man, i just can't with people and their narrow minds... 

it's so frustrating these days because almost everyone and everywhere you turn, you're expected to be:

• politically correct 
• be careful not to step on people's toes
• be mindful of what you say because 1 person could get offended. 

1 person!!! GETS OFFENDED!!! 

Dear offended anon, whatever is said has NOTHING to do with you. 

If you think it does, then perhaps there's something wrong with YOUR behavior or the way you perceive things. The only conclusion or advice i can come up with is to seek some help. 

Nobody is trying to insult others for absolutely no reason. 

There are many instances where even a group of people gets offended by history or some ideas or stories depicted in some books. The group decides to BAN the "offensive" books. Read about such an example right here. The ban was due to 8 swear words and some nudity. It’s insane considering that we have TV shows with more profanities and nudity than that book.

This is so tiresome!

Disclaimer: 2 of the pictures here don’t belong to me. 

Most of this censorship is enforced on social media networks like FB, YT, IG, TWR. Some of the censorship is encountered in various online games aimed at either kids or adults. I agree that users of the kids games should be careful with their words. But not to the extent of banning certain words like ’grapes’. If you remove the first letter, you’re left with a violent action for which severe punishment is needed. But what if you really talk about the fruits called that? 

Perhaps banning a word or two isn’t so bad on a kids’ game. But how about that game removes the possibility of user interaction through its forum instead? Child predators can easily create accounts and start ‘grooming’ their innocent victims.

At the end of the day, the banning of some words on this gaming platform has this purpose: protecting kids, and this is understandable, despite the measure being rather silly and pointless. 

There’s a far more concerning situation though, when it comes to freedom of speech. This is in the context of the health crisiss we still have going on, along with the war. 

We all saw or heard from the news that certain countries in Africa refused to get vaccinated or use the mask. The news were saying that the presidents of those countries declared their countries will not adopt the measures. Fair enough, if you ask me. 

However, i’m pretty sure that the statements issued by those leaders meant that the state won’t force its citizens to adopt any safety measures, like most other countries around the world did. 

Now, if we were to walk the streets of some of the main cities, we surely would have seen some masked individuals. Most likely, it would have been a rare sight if the climate of the country is warm or hot year-round. 

Another example would be ‘people from X country eat only spicy food.’ This statement would be classified most likley as racist, even if more races of people lived in that country. 

i believe that the statement is a bit of a blanket/umbrella one. Perhaps the country is known for its spicy couisine. This doesn’t mean every single person would eat it, especially not every single day, 3 times a day. 

What bothers me with the situation above is that, in writing, we have to explain that perhaps ‘the majority in country X eats spicy food,’ or that ‘the cuisine in country X is known for its spiciness,’ or else we’re seen as uneducated ignorants.

Another example is talking ‘bad’ about former employers. Why? If the former employer treated you bad, you should be able to ring the alarm and let others know about it. Maybe, indeed, you were not a good match for that company and another person is. If they hear you speak badly about the firm, they might lose on getting the job they really wanted.

i wonder how often would this be the case, though? Realistically speaking, if your boss treated you badly, there’s no saying they won’t treat others the same manner. If you don’t speak up, their shitty behaviour won’t stop. 

A person acting shitty towards those helping him/her run the business doesn’t really deserve to be successful in this endeavour. I stringly believe mistreated employees have to speak up. The mistreatment isn’t directed at a single person, but everyone keeping the business running -just look at the fast fashion industry.

This is it from me, for now, on this topic. See you next time!

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello everyone... 

I didn't think i'd actually I'd come here to talk about this. Although, the whole point of my blog, this one, was to talk about this topic at least once. 

You see, in almost 40 years of being on this Earth, I did meet a decent share of people. Weird people. I feel I only met weird people. This made me NOT like being around people and instead live in a comfy bubble with my fiance. And you know what? it's not so bad. 

Weird comes in many different shapes and forms. there's one common point though: the type of weird I'm talking about, makes you feel drained, makes you question yourself (you generally shouldn't question yourself, but more about this later - i think), this weird doesn't respect you or your boundaries. This type of weird makes you live a toxic life. 

ok, ok. I'll jump into the meat of the topic because i don't want a longer intro than i need. There's no order to the signs or red flags, but if you see them, RUN! 

they write. a lot 

When a person writes a lot is not always a sign you should run. except for me it is, because I'm an introvert and i rarely can connect with a stranger and just be able to talk about everything under the sun. 

But, let me define this "a lot":

• long and VERY long messages (at least longer than you're used to)
• often - say several times per day if it's an email; or too many texts in a very short period of time
• at odd hours - or what you consider to be odd hours; this applies to text messages

Now, i heard that in some cultures, like in East Asia (South Korea for instance), sending many text messages in a short period of time it's just a sign of caring for the other person. They might think you're already in a relationship if they do this. if you find yourself seeing an East Asian* person who acts this way, you don't really need to run, just talk about it and see if they see you as their partner already. If you're looking or hoping for a relationship, then you probably just got lucky. 

However, if the person is not East Asian, but as we say, a Westerner, you might want to consider ghosting this person, hide, and run.  Why? because the majority of Westerners don't show affection through many and long messages or emails. We mostly use words and objects instead of actions and gestures in a more direct manner, whereas an East Asian person would use more subtle words and actions that could make a Westerner feel suffocated. 

*I have to say East Asian because I'm not familiar (in any shape or form) with the behavior of Asians from other regions of this large continent, sorry. I also want to mention that by East Asian i refer to those who grew up and live in this rather large area of Asia, because i have no idea if people of this descent that grew up in a different part of the world act the same or not. 

they tell you 'stuff' (too soon/fast)

The stuff i refer to here is inappropriate stuff. I'll give you some examples. 

a. If the person is of the opposite gender, and suddenly mentions yours or their relationship status, this could be a red flag and you should probably stop communicating with them. The 'relationship status mention' could be casual and direct "Oh, so do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" But it can also be indirect, but still sounding casual "So, what does your partner think of us talking?" 

Do i need to mention that if you can't trust your partner (if you have one) or if they can't trust you, the 2 of you probably shouldn't be in a relationship? It's true that people cheat. it's also true that once you've been cheated on, it's hard to trust a new person not to do the same. However, this is not the topic I want to talk about today. 

b. Another thing they could say is "i hope you won't tell me things like ...." This is reversed psychology and they actually hope and want you to tell them those things. Don't let yourself be manipulated like this! Nobody should tell you what you can say or not say. 

The only exception here is if you offended them or someone else without knowing/meaning to, and they're asking you to apologize.  

c. They could say "I love you" a bit too soon after the 2 of you met, say in less than a month. "I love you" has a lot of weight. Also, not everyone is comfortable hearing it. There is such a thing as "love at first sight," sure but i believe it's usually reciprocated. If you don't feel the same for the other person, perhaps you should run away. 

Now, you'll have to pay attention to the background of the person too. People living in different cultures will approach a new relationship in different ways. They also may perceive those from a different culture in a certain light (usually stereotypes), and I'm sure you do so too. Stereotyping is not ok, it's just what we're exposed to the most. if you're not searching for a partner, make this clear to the person from a different culture you just met. 

they don't understand hints

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. This is a long one to explain and can turn into a dangerous situation. I'll try and be as brief as possible. 

Clearly, we all want to be liked and be seen as good people. This makes us act nicer than usual towards those we just met. i call this "testing the waters" to see what kind of person the other one is.

However, sometimes we meet new people and we simply don't like them. We can't like everyone and not everyone will like us. This is normal life. Yet, the other person might actually like us, even if we don't like them. 

At a certain point, we realize we receive unwanted attention, but because we don't want to be the bad guy, we're trying to be diplomatic about it. This could be avoiding spending more than 2 minutes alone with them, making up excuses for leaving faster/not meeting up, trying to suggest to them to leave, and a bazillion other things. The result? they still linger around, making the situation awkward. By this point everyone else knows how you feel towards the new individual and how that individual feels towards you. 

Seeing that these hints don't have any effect, it's time to be more firm and clear about how things are. Tell them directly you're not interested and have someone else around as well, and have the 3rd wheel (so to speak) talk in your place. 

If this also doesn't work, perhaps simply ignoring them and not replying at all, might work. Depending on the situation, you might want to change the environment in which you met this pest. in other words, run and hide. 

they might talk about a single topic

Or something you aren’t interested in, and they might talk A LOT about it, to the point of repeating everything, several times.

Talking about a single or a limited number of topics can be a sign of some mental issue or illness - i forgot the correct term, sorry. Here I mean people who are on the autistic or Asperger's spectrum, have Dawn syndrome, and a few others. 

Being involved with such a person can be difficult without the proper training or exposure. Not even all therapists can treat/counsel these individuals.

This is a touchy/sensitive topic to talk about, and again, this entry is not the right one for it. i also don't have the proper knowledge to write about it. at least not for now. i want to make it clear that I'm not looking down on these individuals, as i think I'm also on the Asperger's spectrum.

What I'm trying to say is that dealing with such individuals requires certain patience and empathy. Not everyone has these, hence the Mother Theresa mention. I've seen 'normal' people getting quite annoyed with someone who mentioned they're autistic. The annoyance came from how the autistic person was talking about a certain topic, not because of the "autism mention" itself. i hope this makes sense? 

If you feel or know that you can get easily annoyed by certain mentions or behaviors, and you notice them in someone you just met, it could be best if you stayed away from them. 

they don't say they're sorry

not even half-assed when they should. 

Let's say they say something offensive that is not directed at you. Or they could say something that disturbs you a great deal. This could be any kind of insult, sexist, racist, or homophobic words/opinions. I'm not here to teach you WHY such language/behavior is NOT OK. If you use such language, you stink, and I don't want you reading my blog. 

You let them know how you feel about what they said, why isn't ok, while trying to be as clear as possible. 

Except, they don't (or refuse to) understand, and as such, they don't say "I'm sorry" but instead they search for excuses and explanations. This is NOT OK. 

Furthermore, they might add more offensive/upsetting statements or might try to turn the tables around, in an attempt to blame YOU for feeling the way you do. Such "explanations" could be anything really, and they usully start with "OH, but you don't know XYZ from my past."

In this regard that person is correct: you are highly likely that you don't know XYZ from their past. Yet, it is THAT PERSON'S job to overcome whatever injustice they faced and be a better individual, teach others that what happened was not acceptable. The "others" in "teaching others" includes those who performed the unjust act, if they didn't die. 

The person who does something wrong towards another, should at the very least apologize. If they do not, they're a bad person, a monster. 

This song says quite a lot of the stuff i mentioned above. So i thought it's relevant. You should look up the lyrics and translation as well, if you can't understand what they say. 

Some Sort of a Conclusion

The above are the main red flags about a person that you should stay as far as possible from. Most of these come from my personal experiences with "weird" people over the years. These signs are for both genders. 

The worst is that usually, it's rather difficult to get rid of. Some might become obsessed and turn into stalkers. Stalkers are some of the most dangerous kinds of individuals out there.  

And on a similar note, being a Stan is not a cool thing. Look up the video "Stan" by Eminem. Still relatively relevant for this topic. 

Have a lovely February! 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello!

It's already December, and this means it's Blogmas time! if you don't already know, last year i participated in the blogmas challenge that my blogging platform set up. :D You can read last year's blogmas at this link! 

If you're wondering why I wasn't present for the past few months, I'll clarify (a bit) after i complete the challenge for the day. 

As you can see, this is day 2. For the first day, we had to enter a contest for a premium account. Which i did but did not win. It's OK, I hope there will be other occasions. 

For the 2nd day, our "challenge" is to write a list of ideal gifts for this year's Christmas. This should be really easy, for anyone. 

Including for me. Or is it? Well, here it goes, in no particular order, though some are more important than others:

• A new phone
• The laptop's back to be repaired
• A bottle of Chanel no 5 perfume
• To fix my first sewing machine
• A pair of old/vintage tailors shears
• A premium account for my blog and site {will be live again starting January ;)}
• My geraniums to bloom more, the ones in water to grow roots
• My kalanchoe to bloom again

If you're curious if last year i had a wishlist challenge, I did. You can read it here. And for the curious, I had 5 wishes, and 3 of them came true :) Spoiler alert, not the serger or the "enough money to buy a house," but it's better than nothing. 

 And if you were curious as of why I went MIA ... I was extremely busy. and depressed. I started therapy and treatment.

I'm getting better and i hope to be more active from now on. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

A few months ago I came across a post on Instagram, that made me think of this issue. I'll share the post with you later, in a different entry. 

Well, i thought about it before, but I somehow didn't have the right muse around me to write about it. I think the time is better now. 

Many types and shapes of plastic

I won't dive into what plastic is made of. We all know there are many different types and forms of plastic out there, and i believe this wiki page is only an opener for a whole can of worms on the topic.

Here, in the images below, you can see some types and shapes plastic can take:

• the hard shell of a mouse and of a regular pen
• the soft-cover protecting the wires of a mouse, 
• the faux-leather cover of an agenda (that i use as a planner AND mousepad),
• my home-pants made of 100% polyester that you get a small snippet of as well (flowery blue, in the lowest part of the image) 
• a pencil - the green one (the blue pencil is made of the traditional wood)

In these images, most of the mentioned plastics can be used just once. Granted, they can be used for a VERY long period of time. I have to find a recycling program for the mouse, and I'll most likely keep the agenda -as I recorded some memories in it as well. 

The plastic pencil is both useful (when writing or drawing) and wasteful (when sharpening), but it has just 1 life as well. When it becomes too short to still sharpen/write with, I'll have to somehow discard it. 

I got the pants as already worn, but they were still in a good shape. When I'll be done wearing them, I can turn them into something else, until the fabric can no longer be used. 

Speaking of clothes, I have 2 more types of plastics to show you. Well, one is a repeat, while the other is not. 

The vest is made of faux-fur and the coat of faux leather and has a polyester lining. These items too, can be used for an extended period of time. Additionally, they can somehow be reused when they can no longer be used as clothes. 

So, overall, this type of plastic is a tiny bit less problematic.  

Soo ... single-use plastic bags?

I'm not sure where in the world you live, and what the situation is with single-use plastic bags over there. In Romania, these are seen everywhere, especially when you go do your groceries. just look here:

This is a typical plastic shopping bag. It used to be free of charge, now it costs a few cents, depending on the store. They say this bag is single-use. Well, it is not really, unless it breaks. 

I often reuse these when shopping and sometimes as trash bags, when they become a bit too worn out. This particular bag is filled with other plastic bags, and many households across the country have a big plastic bag filled with other (smaller) plastic bags.  

The irony is that most single-use plastic shopping bags of certain compositions have been banned. They have been replaced with "bio" single-use plastic bags. I'll show you one below:

This bag is for fruits and vegetables. it's very soft to the touch, breaks easily, and I'm not 100% sure, but i think it disintegrates quite rapidly once it gets punctured. Currently, shopping bags are very similar to the touch to this 'bio' bag. I still re-use these for lightweight trash, if they didn't already break. 

I made 1 bag for fruits and vegetables, but as you can expect, I forget to bring it with me when shopping. And it's not even guaranteed I'll buy such goods. 

Now, the biggest offenders

I'm not even done, because these previous items can be re-used or have prolonged use if you care to spend less and have a creative spirit. 

Now, I'll show you the biggest offenders of plastic products. 

Cling film is indeed a pretty decent invention for covering foods when putting them in the fridge, or for the sandwiches you make for your lunch break. It probably has other uses that I'm not aware of. 

Regardless, this item should be banned! Or people should stop buying this product altogether! It can be replaced with at least 3 other items:

1. casseroles with lids: These can be used to store food in the fridge and to take your lunch in. These can easily be washed and reused. I wouldn't recommend the ones made of hard plastic, but it's not very convenient to carry glass stuff around. Maybe metal containers can do the trick here, but I'm not sure they still exist. 
2. lids or plates used as lids: These can be used only in the fridge. These are more accessible to those who don't always have a fridge full, and they can occupy more space. 
3. zip-lock bags: Yes, they're still plastic, not great, but if we carefully handle these, they can serve for a long(er) period of time compared to cling film. 

This bottle held apple cider vinegar. When you walk into any store, you'll see hundreds if not thousands of plastic bottles: for beer, oil, sodas, milk, laundry and dish wash, and on and on. 

These are BIG one-time plastic use offenders. Granted, some of these products cannot be sold in a different type of container. 

I think that all stores should request buyers to come with the old/empty bottles when buying a new product of the same type (regardless of brand), or else be forced to pay more. The empty bottles should be collected and recycled. 

I know some people re-use plastic bottles for various things, mostly instead of a traditional pot for plants. This is great, but not everyone has a green thumb or is creative enough. 

There are SO many items packaged in plastic! Above you can see a bag of frozen mixed vegetables and 3 small containers (I'm not sure what to call them), for milk for coffee. 

The bag above is a single-use bag that should be banned. it's too small to be reused and breaks quite easily when not careful. The only re-use i can think of is for the above-mentioned lunch if it comes as a sandwich. I must admit, I'm not sure what can it be replaced by, and therefore it can be spared for some time. 

I saved the worst for last and i don't even know what to say here. We literally buy these bags to throw them away! Make this make sense because it doesn't make any sense to me!  

As far as i saw here, these rarely have a 'bio' version. And even then, they're way more expensive than 'regular' trash bags. It's also not a guarantee those 'bio' bags last for less time in nature. 

P.S.! 

I know there are also single-use plastic plates, glasses, straws, and cutlery, however, i don't own any such items anymore. Precisely because of their single-use attribute. Additionally, it's not healthy to eat out of re-usable plastic plates either - plastic can leech into the food. This is akin to slow poisoning.  

I don't think paper is a good alternative to plastic, especially not the plastic/paper combo we see on some products. We need to cut trees to make paper, and we need trees to breathe cleaner air. Also, many animals rely on trees to survive. 

I think that paper could be recycled easier than plastic and it decomposes faster when left out in the open. Maybe we could make packaging out of bamboo instead? 

I didn't watermark these pics as I didn't see the need to, but they were taken by me in june/july of this year (2021).

See you next time! 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello everyone. 

This is a rather sad entry. I'm not in a very good mental state right now. 

I think I started battling depression a few years back. I haven't been to any therapists until this year. I will soon start some treatment for this. I just need to go wait until my next appointment in about 3 weeks. 

I also suffer from anxiety and I'm pretty sure I have some BPD traits as well. Click here if you don't know anything about BPD. In any case, from a social point of view and as far as employment goes, it's not a very good thing to have a paper saying you have BPD or any other issues that could mean you're not emotionally or mentally stable. ok, moving on now. 

Almost everyone struggles. And everyone who struggles makes an effort to hide it. of course, depending on the severity of the problem, some hide it better than others. Some simply can't hide it. Some lose battles with themselves.

For me, things went really bad in 2020, when the shit hit the fan with the virus and we were all confined in our homes, and businesses closed. When the martial law was implemented illegally, about a week in - I forgot how long it's been, maybe 2 weeks? a month? i considered jumping out the window. 

i was very close to doing it. Living on the 5th floor, with granite tiles on the sidewalk downstairs. But also some metal things for shade for the shop space on the ground floor. I'm not sure what survival chanced i'd have. i probably would have been stuck in a wheelchair if I did survive. 

Luckily for me, anna was here and I could call her and talk to her ... and she managed to at least calm me down. I'm crying again, now thinking of that evening. I'm truly blessed with her. 

i don't want to hear "oh, but others...." fuck others! I'm not others, and others don't think of me either. I'm not others- I'm ME! I'm tired of these hurtful comparisons!

when you compare a child to other children, you ARE ONLY HURTING your own child and boosting the ego of the other kid. 

when you tell your partner "oh, but the spouse of so-and-so...." you are HURTING AND INSULTING YOUR partner! you make them feel miserable! and they wonder why are you with them if you think the other person is better. and the thing is, you can't even know the real face of the other person who you think is better. 

Sorry, I went off a tangent here. but people do that when they try to explain their feelings. i suppose. it makes it easier for them. 

so, around Christmas, I started feeling a bit better, and it lasted for a while. Though PMSing started being too much like a rollercoaster. anna couldn't take my crap anymore and insisted I seek professional help. and so I did, and about a week or so ago I started taking Xanax, as the therapist prescribed. And my anxiety went down, which is great because it was almost crippling me. 

the downside of taking Xanax was that while I was no longer anxious, but i started feeling the depression more. and it was maybe more intense? blank mind, foggy brain... Actually, the fog was almost there, all white and fluffy, around not only my head but my torso as well. i could almost see it with my eyes. 

And then, this site i was playing, suddenly bans me for having multiple accounts! when they already knew there's 2 of us playing there, on 2 different accounts! they knew this for almost 11 years! it's just unbelievable! we apparently broke a rule about exchanging too many items... 

I didn't even know there's such a rule.... well, ok, there is, we broke it indeed. but this is not the point. the point is that the ban-hammer was triggered at a bad time when i was feeling very low and foggy, and that site felt safe in the morning when i was drinking my coffee.  

I've been talking to an admin, but i don't put my hopes too high for getting my account back. Now, i don't care so much anymore. I'll need another morning habit. or just use this as a reason to procrastinate less. 

To be continued...

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Well, hello there.

We are well into the month of April and I know I haven't finished the March challenge. However, due to how this platform works, I can post this in March. ;) 

The thing is - I won't finish this challenge. Below we can see the remaining challenges.

March 27 - National cheese day

This is a French platform, run by French people. I suppose the stereotype that the French love their cheese is true if they dedicated a day to celebrate it. 

Personally, I don't live in France, so I have no idea if there is such a day celebrated, or if Cheese Day is every day. 

So, what is my favorite type of cheese? I do like cheese, so I have a favorite. 

I ate blue cheese a few times - I didn't find it bad, but also not something to eat daily, or even very often. I used to really like the Romanian telemea cheese, but not so much anymore. 

Of course, you may not or don't know what telemea is, so here is more about this cheese, from Wikipedia. 

Lately, I like Italian mozzarella cheese. Smoked yellow cheese is another type of cheese I like. This type of cheese is called Kashkaval and I can't recall seeing any that is white in color. Most of these are off-white or some shade of yellow.  

This type of cheese melts nicely on pizza, and any other dish you may want melted cheese on. 

March 28 - World day against endometriosis

I wish all women dealing with this problem, a lot of health. 

I wish everyone else who is not aware of this health problem, to learn about it. Also, please stop asking women "When will you get married?" "When will you have children?". 

It's none of your business. Unless YOU plan on being the 3rd wheel in the relationship or taking care of the baby with your own money and time. Not all women want to be wives or mothers. 

And women suffering from endometriosis may even have a hard time conceiving, even if they want to have babies. So, again, I repeat: Not your body, not your problem! You can ask questions and give advice only when you're very close to the person and you're concerned about their health and overall wellbeing. 

March 29 - Cinema spring

I have no idea what this means or what am I supposed to write about. 

In any case, keep an eye open and stalk my other site for at least one movie review, The Taming of the Shrew, an Italian movie. ;) I think it's a good movie for spring.

March 31 - World day of personal data protection

I think this is what it means. If this is what it means, I'll have to remind you to change your passwords often, keep them written down -in an agenda, diary, cookie jar, whatever. Do not share them with anyone under any circumstance. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.