life experience

As I write this, 2017 is almost over. Clearly I must draw a line and summarize what happened this year. I should also create a sort of bucket list or New Year resolution at the end of the post. I posted a half-year conclusion in July or so, therefore one at the end of the year is a must.

One of the first things to happen to me, was to realize that full-time employment is not for me. And it's not as if I didn't try. See, I have a creative brain/ mind, and for me this translates into a difficulty to stick to a routine, to do what others [AKA bosses] tell me to do. I can do it but just short-term. Not to mention the effects full-time jobs had on my body and on the relationship with my partner.

We decided to focus our energies we know we can do, do them well, and try out new things. This basically means concentrating on the tasks and projects from the clients, this blog, and even starting a proper YouTube channel. I already uploaded a couple of videos there, and I only have a few views.

Another good thing that happened was for me to see a popularity increase for this blog. Again, it's not much, but seeing it has been viewed daily at least once, is a start. I started to post several times a week, I even have a "cultural" day, and things seem to be going well, even considering that now I'm technically on a break until I move the site. I'm also really excited about the short stories that will appear on the site.

On a personal level, my partner and me are now closer, we always hold hands when we go out, not to mention we're also almost always together. Can't tell you how happy I am, and not to mention less lonely. We got to experience many new thins this year, to visit new places - like the National Village Museum, try new treats like this ice cream. We even went on a ghost-hunt before Halloween, but we failed at seeing any ghosts.

I also started cooking more, though I don't really have what to show for, except these "artsy" crepes. I also started bullet journaling, however it evolved more into a planner kind of thing. In any case, it seems to help me stay more organized, and to show me that I am doing things, and not just waste my time. It also seems I managed to keep a more clean house when compared to last year. I don't know if it's thanks to planning, but I'm pretty sure it's related to actually being home.

From a financial point of view, 2017 wasn't the most abundant, but we were together and this mattered more than the money. I rather be poor and with my partner than being rich and without her. <3

I'm also proud of myself for studying more Mandarin, for proving to myself I can even complete DIY projects. Of course this is not much, and other people are much more advanced than me, but I have to start somewhere. I'm proud and happy because I feel my creativity reached new levels I didn't think possible, and I feel more worthy.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?

I never did something like this before, so I don't really now how to start.

• workout more - make a habit out of it
• walk more
• cut the amount of swear words from my daily vocabulary
• stop talking badly about others (ooops, I have a bad habit)
• communicate more
• continue with Mandarin (at least twice a week)
• be less lazy
• be less envious of others

I'll have to incorporate these into my planner somehow. I hope you had a good year, I pray the next one will be better, and for health for everyone.

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. 

Pictures belong to their makers.

For the past 7 years I've been working online as a ghost writer. I love this job, even though I'm not always the best at it.

However I did have several jobs that can be labeled as 9-to-5, therefore full time employment. I will talk about 3 of these jobs in this post, as they're in the same field - sales. I've been a sales assistant in a shoe shop and in 2 clothes stores, and this is where my worst experiences came from.

After reading this, you'll probably say that I should have sucked it up, and bear it ... but that's just not me. My brain is wired differently, and as a result I can't act the way the norms of society tell me to act - plus I'm still a rebel and I'm prone to disobey the rules. But that's for a different entry.

"Romanians find products made of genuine leather to be of a better quality, and looking better, and will prefer it."

I'll now talk about my experience working in a shoe shop. This store - or better said its name - is a well known Romanian brand. its products are made of real leather, and this includes shoes, bags, and belts. How they source their leather, I don't know, and I'm not here to discuss whether this is an OK practice or not. [I will however tell you that Romanians find products made of genuine leather to be of a better quality, and looking better, and will prefer it. This is especially true for those over the age of 35, as younger generations are more influenced by the animal rights movement.]

At this store, I worked 2 weeks in one location, then they moved me to another location. I hated working there -not sure why- and I also didn't understand what was I supposed to do there. They expected me to learn more than 100 products by heart, in a couple of days. Before getting hired, I thought that working in a shoe shop is easy - wrong!

This was my first ever experience working with so many products, clients, and high amounts of money. Despite my lack of experience, they wanted me to check the products on the register - when selling, and to so unsupervised. [So they'll have someone to blame should money be missing, I assume.] They might have shown me how's done, once or twice, but it was super fast, and didn't learn it - I learn at a slower pace.

The other girls didn't seem to like me, and I also disliked them. I remember having to obey weird rules such as standing in one spot if the store had no clients. However, when I did that, they would call the store and tell me to move around. So, am I a statue or not? make up your mind, people. I got fired after those 4 weeks. And you know what? I don't regret it one bit. I wouldn't advise anyone working for this company.

"The main job there was to convince the clients they needed those rags."

At the clothes shops, I also spent 1 month in each, but this was many years after the shoe store happening. I worked for the first clothes store back in 2015. That was another unpleasant experience that mostly messed up my feet. The items sold there were ridiculously expensive but made on the cheap - well, maybe there were a few exceptions, but too few to matter. The main job there was to convince the clients they needed those rags and to make sure we each sell of a certain amount of money each day, to get the sales commission.

That's because here, sales assistants get a fixed salary and a percentage of the total sales made in a month - usually the month before the payday. This store had a sales target per person, per day, equal to the fixed salary. So, if your monthly paycheck was 2000, you had to make sure you sell every day, merchandise worth 2000. Impossible? Well, maybe selling 2 dresses each day, was enough. Except there are not so many people needing a [fugly, elegant] dress every day.

What happened? I failed, and got fired. But I was happy because I had to lie to the clients - something I'm bad at, and dislike doing. Plus some people can tell quality from trash, and can buy the same product for a fraction of the price, from some other place. I also think the other chicks didn't like me as I wasn't as fake as them. I don't have the energy for that.

"The other girls here seemed nice to me."

Working for the 3rd store, was another fail story. I was supposed to receive a full uniform there - they only provided a top. And then they asked me why don't I have normal pants like the other chicks working there - take a guess, Einstein! Just like the first store, this one is another Romanian brand, and their designers are sisters - I had no idea of this before getting hired. Maybe this is why they fired me from here as well.

The worst part of working there, was the CEOs were checking the cameras at all times, not having alarm system, making it easy for people to shoplift. The other girls here seemed nice to me, but I learned they gossiped about me behind my back. I would assume none of the colleagues really liked me was because I didn't want to tell them all my life story from day one.

So this concludes the story of me working as sales assistant for 3 different shops. I'm not seeing it as a sob story, I don't need to be pitied or anything like that. I just want to point out that working a full time job outside the house is not something made for everyone.

And I wish society accepted this already, and the governments made it easier for people like me to make a living in different ways, not just the "traditional" way.

I still have some stories related to old-fashioned type of employment, but in different sectors. And the experiences there were still unpleasant from my point of view.

(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Everyone makes mistakes, even me with my blog, and the things I post here. You can read about one such mistake here, if you're curious.

It's not my place to judge people, but I think that if we want G-D to give us something, we must pray the right way, and to try avoid making some mistakes.

Several years ago I decided I should be more spiritual, to pray more, be kinder, less negative. I took a notebook and wrote in it some guidelines for "how to pray." Surely I found this guide somewhere on the internet, but for the love of what's good, I can't remember.

This entry is an adaptation of that info - simply because I didn't agree with everything in there, and I also think some other stuff should be added.

Matthew 6:7-8 New International Version (NIV)

⁷ And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Prayer is a highly personal experience

For me this is true, as you could probably tell from this blog entry.  Everyone whose prayers have been answered will probably tell you the same thing. This is not something that can be explained.

What I can say is that the prayer is a tool helping us to attune and communicate with G-D - or whatever other Higher Being or Creator you believe in.

 Don't pray just in time of need

I find this to be wrong, though it can be effective if you pour all your soul into it. I think that if you want to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life, trying to pray on a more regular basis is [or works] better.

You can compare this to a person whose teeth look perfect - surely they visit their dentist quite often, brushes and flosses their teeth twice each day.

Be thankful while praying

Forgetting to thank G-D for everything positive in our lives is something many are guilty of. Including those that pray on a regular basis.

What can you be thankful for? The clothes on your body, the house you live in, the neighborhood you live in [if you like it there and feel safe], the food on your table, your job [especially if the income is acceptable], for having people that care about you in your life, for being able to have pets [if you have them], and so on.

These were just examples and are the things I'm generally thankful for while praying. Every little thing does matter and you should be thankful for, including your health, looks [if you consider yourself pretty, or you particularly like something about yourself like your eyes or hair], talents [like cooking, baking, drawing, fashion style, applying make-up].

Some of these attributes sound vain to be thankful for, but I can guarantee there is at least one person out there that wishes they had what you have - material or not. You can walk, talk, see, read, sing? Be thankful for all of those since there are folks that can't perform these actions.

What to pray for

You can pray for everything or anything, including for world peace. For better and higher chances of the prayer to be answered, just ask for small things and one thing at a time.

For instance, you lost your job [or were forced to quit?] when praying, thank your Divinity for all the jobs you had in the past and ask Them to help you find another suitable one quickly.

We can even ask for help in becoming mentally stronger, better people [less negative, less critical of others], in finding a new hobby, a new partner, in overcoming problems that seem very complicated, or even forgiveness.

We can pray for forgiveness for ourselves or for others. Maybe you lied to someone and now you feel bad, but still don't have the courage to confess to them? Ask G-D for forgiveness, but try not to lie anymore in the future. If someone did something hurtful towards you, you probably can't let go of those negative emotions so easily. Ask the Divine to help you with that, and ask the Divine to forgive that person's mistakes.  [I did this and it felt liberating.]

 Acknowledge you're wrong or sinful

This segment goes against Christian teachings of confessing and stuff. We all do things we're very ashamed of later on [what? it's just me? hmmm]. Sometimes those actions feel too heavy, and we're too embarrassed to confess them to a priest [if that's part of your belief system].

Telling G-D during a prayer about those things can be liberating. Not many people know what you did, but G-D DOES know. The Divinity knows everything about you. Admitting that doing this or that was wrong and asking for forgiveness can help. [It did help me, I felt less tormented].

When and where to pray

You can pray at any time, in any place. It is however better to find a quiet time and place to do so. For instance, you could pray while showering or taking a bath, right before falling asleep, when everyone else is asleep or away.

The most important thing to try and remember is that you should not be disturbed. You should silent your phone too, if you receive too many texts, calls and notifications.  You don't have to be in a church [or similar type of building] to pray. You don't even need a picture of your Deity around you.

Faith is crucial

No mater who you pray to or what for, you must be certain 100% that They hear you and that They will answer. It's not enough to say "Oh, my god's name is this, and they DO exist... blahblahblah." No! You must feel with every cell of your body that that Creator exists and that They love you and will send you what you ask for.

When you start communicating with Them, you have to be aware of Their presence in and around you: you wouldn't be here without Them, and you wouldn't have everything you own without Them.

May God look over From His Holy Dwelling and may he strike all those who hate His People with a wink of an eye

Behold here is the Lord rising and standing on a plumb-line Giving them a cup of poison but not wine

Pronunciation:

Yash'kef Elohim mima'on kod'sho veyach kol sonei amo keheref ayin

Hineh Hashem kam venitzav al anach yash'kem lechos ra'al aval lo yayin

I have no words to express how much I like this song, and how well it helps me get into a praying state of mind. It also helps me be more aware of G-D and His presence in my life.

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. The song and lyrics belong to Sagiv Cohen.

I have to come clean guys.

Recently I watched a video in which the author [sorry, can't remember who it was] was talking about people that get paid to write or film FAKE reviews for items, services, and so on.

This video hit home, quite hard, because I'm a freelance writer and I did get paid for that as well. However, once I was shameless enough to post that review on my blog, and have you [who reads this] believe that I actually know what I'm doing or talking about.

This blog was started as means for me to explore my creativity, share my life lessons, try and spread some more common sense to some who lack it [now that I matured a bit since I started I realize this is a near impossible task].

Back to my topic. Back when I posted that entry, I did feel guilty about it - I don't think I even mentioned I got paid for that entry. I remember I was rather happy I have something to post, since at that time I wasn't posting as much as now.

Today I'm coming 'clean,' I deleted that post, and will also have to further brush through my past entries to see what else doesn't fit in my blog anymore.

I deleted this entry a while back, but I wanted to show you guys proof that I did delete it, and that this post did exist at some point. I currently have another entry removed. Once I figure out which entries still need removing, I will probably take another screen capture of my trash folder and update this entry. Maybe, I don't know for sure for now.

Do know this is a slow process simply because I move slow. From now on I will only post things that happen to my partner and me, or just me. I may have my partner or other people write entries for me in the future, but until then, it will only be me posting. As stated earlier, I will only write about stuff that happens to me, that interest me, or my thoughts.

Wanted to clear things out, and assure you guys that the missing posts were intentional and not some sort of Mandela Effect.

If you read to here, WOW! you deserve a cookie! Have a good day!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Today's entry was supposed to be something different, but it's not done, and it can't be done today. Plus I have some other stuff I need to take care of, and there are just too many things to do and too little time.

So, instead, I'm going back on memory lane. I actually have a dream journal I wrote in since 2009, and I want to share some thoughts I had back then, as well as some events that took place before this particular entry dating back to December 16th, 2009. As you can tell, I didn't have a blog back then, and I wasn't even thinking about getting one. On, with the entry!

Whenever I dreamt I'll get something, found a treasure [containing money, jewelry], I'd pick it up, hoping I'll have it when I woke up [current thoughts: was I aware I was dreaming?] But this never happened; instead the general situation became worse. A said it was quite the opposite for her: she does get the item. I wonder if she ever dreamt of a treasure...

I have to mention the dreams I used to have like 10 years ago after granny died. I remember I asked her [soul] to come in my dreams because I couldn't cope with her death. And... she did.  Man, was she scary at times! Other times she was angry or mad at me [current thoughts: of course she was: she wanted to move on, not be stuck between here and there, DUH!].

Most of the times she didn't say a word. I would just see her and at times she was with grandpa [who died 7 years before her].  He was calm and he also gave me the impression he didn't know who I was.  The strange[r] part here is that when he died, granny said she wanted to still live for 7 years, so she could be buried in the same grave as him. Just as she finished saying that, I felt a wave of something running through me and I knew it would come true. Over the 7 years, I forgot about that.

There  was this one time when granny was so scary and she almost asked me to let her go. However I didn't want that in the beginning. Because I would wake up crying like crazy each time, [in the end] I did beg her to go find her peace. Soon after she didn't appear in my dreams anymore.

The dreams in which granny was calm were surreal and I wasn't aware I was dreaming. Usually later on I would realize it's a dream, and things would change. In one of them I remember both [grandparents] had a new big [Romanian] country[side] house with a big yard with lots of livestock. They also seemed happy and healthy.

A. saw the ghost of a dead singer from Japan. He was scary, much like granny was. I'm sure  we both saw real ghosts, even though mine was in a dream. 

No important dreams lately, and that makes me sad. Granny still visited me at times. I also dreamt about my dead uncle, but I don't recall anything important. I barely remember anything about these dead relatives, from the time they were alive.

Ok, so this was the entry. I had to edit it a bit to make the ideas flow more naturally. This written record has no ending, making it a bit surreal in my opinion.

Do you have such strange dreams? Have you even seen a ghost? Or dreamt about dead people?

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

I hope this entry inspires you to pray, be a more grateful and kind person. I want to mention that while I do mention God from the Bible, I will NEVER force anyone to share my views. Atheists might be the only people who see no need for praying and I am nobody to tell them otherwise.

 

I started praying a few months back. I was tormented by various nightmares that would pop up when I felt more anxious or stressed. One evening, I decided that I had enough of these terrors, and I started praying to G-D, as in the Bible. To my surprise, my prayer has been answered ... on the spot. I instantly felt at peace, loved, not alone.

My only worry is the dark figure I felt and nearly saw coming to my side that evening. I don't want to jump to conclusions, and say it was this or that, but said figure took away whatever was tormenting me, and now even if I want to think of those things I can't. Not for more than 5 seconds.

In any case, this happening gave me the push I needed to start praying more. And to actually to way of G-D's presence in my life. Even before that evening I was trying to see the side the side of the glass everyone thinks is full [though the glass is ALWAYS full. But this theory is for another time]. This thinking is also encouraged by those who use a bullet journal - it is recommended to have a gratitude's section for every month you're using the journal.

how do i pray

I usually pray at night, before going to bed. Sometimes when I wake up. Praying throughout the day is more rare. Before telling you how I pray, you must know the purpose of prayer: it is meant to renew our awareness of the Being we pray to, and it is meant to also help us attune more with said Being [in my case, G-D].

I try to find a quiet moment [when I consider nothing will interfere with the process]. I start reciting Lord's Prayer - and I use the 1928 English version because for some reason I do this in English. I try to use the Latin version too, but I have a hard time remembering the words, and I don't always want to read it - well, in time it will happen.

When I finish Lord's Prayer, I start by thanking G-D for all the things I possess [I try to call Him Father, but it doesn't always work. I also use words like G-D and Lord, but I feel the distance grows, and I want to avoid this]. I'm giving thanks for the clothes I wear, for the roof over my head, the food on the table, my skills and abilities, and so on.

Then I ask for forgiveness for my wrong-doings as well as those of other people. Asking Lord to forgive other people makes me feel at peace the most. At this point I also try to remember that Jesus died for our sins, and that if we truly believe in Him, we will be saved. This is why I ask for forgiveness.

I'm being truthful and trying to "confess" my sins, directly to G-D. If He hears my prayer he will hear my confession as well. And let's be honest here: some of us are utterly embarrassed by some of their past actions. Priests are not supposed to judge you, but how can we be sure they won't? Even if they're not supposed to reveal to anyone whatever you confess. Maybe I'm paranoid and committing a sin by thinking this way. I trust G-D, humans not so much.

how did prayer help me

First of all, it helps me be more aware of my actions. For instance, I personally see no point in asking for forgiveness for something if the next day I do the same thing I wanted to be forgiven for. Just like with other people, if you're sorry for having done something, prove it by not repeating it. It really is as easy as that - no excuses.

It also helped me be more tolerant with others. When others do something that is generally seen as bothering [or it only bothers me], I start telling myself they don't know what they're doing. This simply means the person doesn't realize or is not aware of the consequences of their actions.

I also feel more happy and at peace with myself and everything and everyone around me. This means conflict is minimized. Of course, accidents do still happen, but we generally have a peaceful home.

I also have more faith that more good things will come my way in the future. I might jinx this, but I'm sure I will get the physical things I desire. I also know that whatever difficulties i encounter are not more difficult than what I can handle - my Father made sure of this.

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

It is highly possible to have heard your parents or grandparents citing various things to you that became like a mantra. You probably never understood them and felt almost like an idiot - I know I did. However, most people like to recite very famous quotes, and while you should know who said what, it is time you created a little booklet of quotes of your own, to sound smarter and wiser.

Today's quotes are by Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee. But this is something he didn't really want to be remembered as. He wanted to be his own person, apart from his famous father. Sadly, somehow this is now a bit impossible to achieve, simply because he died way too soon.

"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times. And a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive your life without it? Perhaps 4 or 5 times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless."

"You only have the burdens on you that you choose to put there."

"God knows the times I have found myself in absurd situations."

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."

"A fight can express things people might not be able to say with words."

"Believe me, nothing is trivial."

"If you've ever found yourself pushed to the limits of your tolerance... you find yourself doing some things that, from the outside, can be seen as quite insane."

Most likely these quotes will mean something different to everyone. But all of them have something to teach us. They make us smarter and wiser. If we pay attention to some of these words, we might even avoid making some huge mistakes later on.

I'll see you again on Sunday.

So, as mentioned in last Sunday's entry, today I will post a vlog video, with a little explanation.

I think YouTube is messing up the audio of the videos. So, if you don't hear well, blame both the beginner me and YouTube. You get to see glimpses of Bucharest that you don't usually see in travel blogs and magazines, along with random Romanians going about their way. yay?

As I'm trying to explain in this video, my friend ordered a product online, and she was supposed to go pick it up. I went along and recorded the adventure. It took us some 45 minutes to the [mini]mall where the place [called eMag] was. We were told to wait in line, and after some half an hour they said their server crashed O.O and that it would probably last some 45 minutes to fix it.

And so we waited, as we hoped it would be true. So we tried out this café place with a really nice view. I had a sandwich as I was starving - and it was pretty good. Don't ask about its name as I forgot it and I don't even remember seeing it posted anywhere.

My friend went back to the store - we then realized it was a showroom only, and the server worked for some 5 to 20 minutes and crashed again. Some 20 minutes before closing time! (at 9pm - most other stores close at 10 pm) We still stayed, as we weren't the only people needing to pay for stuff. Of course we waited in vain.

The video ends with me complaining about their customer service and just how generally uncool this [mini]mall was. They were supposed to call her the next day, but didn't. As expected.

While this shopping trip seemed like a failure, it was actually a disguised blessing. Some days later we found the product she wanted at another store and the full price wasn't even the one eMag mentioned! They said they were selling it for 50% off - full price being some 190 Lei? The store we found was selling it for just 120 Lei full price [tax included, as in Romania the prices shown on the shelf includes the sales tax].

My friend ended with getting another similar product that was on sale, from the second store. Happy ending!

What I didn't mention in the video was that while we were waiting in line the first time around, we decided to get a mouse as well - it was pretty cheap. Except the guy told me I would have to go back the next day or the day after to pay and pick it up: they didn't have it in stock!

© Charly Cross 2013-present. All rights reserved.

You can now buy merch inspired by this experience, from here. There are more types of items available, not just the tote bag I made as default.

RIP Chester. I wish you found peace. Sadly you'll never get to read this. :( This entry is beyond serious. Depression goes hand in hand with suicide. These two topics are generally taboo. But we need to talk about them, we need to learn how to read the signs. And we need to be more understanding of those suffering from these ... I'm not sure how to call them.

If you're like me, you probably have no idea what depression is. Or how does it feel. How it REALLY feels.

Sometime last year I read about a woman who went to a hair salon wanting to buy some hair products: her hair was a rat's nest, all tangled up. Poor woman thought that by getting expensive hair care the tangles will magically go away: they would not. Only a careful hand with a comb can do something about that. One of the employees stopped her from shopping and instead invited her for a de-tangling session. The woman only managed to show up a few weeks later after several attempts at making an appointment and then canceling or not showing up. the woman was severely depressed. so much she didn't care to wash or comb her hair.

Depression is also walking down the street and not realizing a car is about to hit you, or not caring if it does [this happened to me, but I think it was a mistake since i was really upset that day]. Sometimes I get the blues, and it can last for some days. But then it passes.

But you know what? Depression is like a weed that keep growing back, like some mold you don't notice because it forms behind some furniture. And it spreads slowly. slowly but steady. And when you finally see it, the only solution is to completely remove the wall.

Depression is like a worm in an apple, in a way: you can't know the apple is rotten until you cut it open. Depressed people are similar because depression is not only tired eyes and black eyeliner. But there are signs. Signs that a trained eye - or another sufferer- is able to see. Fake smiles, flimsy happiness that doesn't last more than a few hours.

I know depression because my partner is depressed. What scares me the most is that they have almost the same mannerisms as Chester in this short clip. Not to mention a very similar way of talking, intonation and all.

I just watched a few Linkin Park videos. In the end for instance, clearly describes depression and even suicide. I still have a difficult time realizing he's gone: it's unreal. He didn't really mean anything to me, but ... I can't realize what it is.

I even have a confession to make. I knew he would die - just didn't know how. I have some sort of a 6th sense, or psychic abilities, if you will - that's why I started posting tarot interpretations. Sometimes I just KNOW things. A few months back I started watching their Breaking the Habit video. In the middle of one session I heard a voice telling me he will die. I brushed it off. I am not sure I would have been able to prevent it. But those close to him could have!

People NEED to start learning about depression more. To recognize it, and also how they can help those suffering from it. Depression doesn't pass with pills - they just might make things bearable. A therapist doesn't always help - because they're also human, and they're not always good at being a therapist.

What could help more is for friends and family:

• not to push the sufferer into unpleasant situations, by saying "oh, come on, come with us!" Instead something like "if you change your mind, we're at...."
• not to act condescending, by saying "oh, you'll get over it!" NO they wont! it's not the blues, not just sadness, but deep shit. so deep your brain can't comprehend it. A "hang in there" or "i'm here" is sometimes much more helpful. this attitude gets them One Step Closer to the edge..
• check on the person 24/7, like on an infant, like first time parents do.
• read forums about mental disorders: they generally talk about depression as well. they can learn more about how sufferers hide it, how to deal with it, and so on.
• understand that for a depressed person, ANYTHING can be a trigger for suicide - it doesn't matter how small it is in their peer's eyes. It could be as small as a Papercut.
• not to blame the depressed person. see the point above.  telling them calmly something is wrong, but that it's not serious and it can quite easily be fixed is a better approach.
• thanking the depressed person for everything they do: joining them for breakfast, for a group activity, or anything they have a really hard time doing.

Please, if you know someone depressed, DO NOT laugh at them, do not tell them they're weak or cowards when they 'casually' talk about suicide. Most definitely DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tell them to 'just do it" because in that moment you just took their life away! YOU killed that person! Morally, it won't be a suicide anymore, but an act of taking another person's life! If you think you can live with that hanging on your conscience, then you're a psychopath and you're a danger to society, and need to be locked up!

All those people complaining Linkin Park's music changed, THEY KILLED Chester. and sadly, I saw MANY people lately acting the same way: laughing at various popular people, and thinking of themselves they're better than said popular people.

I hope Chester's family and friends are strong enough to get over this tragedy.

(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. all rights reserved.

I like painting my nails these days. It's relaxing and fun. I tried challenging myself to see for how long can I keep my manicure. The answer? not too long.

I suspect it may have something to do with using cheap polishes, or not being a professional, or even with the fact that I use my fingers and nails a little too much.

In any case, this entry will have quite a few nail pictures, with little explanations.

FIRST ATTEMPT - remember I'm not a nail professional. days 1 through 5

Oh the horror, the chipping started. Challenge aborted. LOL

SECOND ATTEMPT

These are days 1 through 4. I guess, I really couldn't do more...

They must have started chipping, or I forgot to take pictures. I forgot why I aborted this attempt. 

THIRD ATTEMPT

This is where I gave up. One of the reasons I gave up was that I forgot to take pictures of my nails.

BONUS PICTURES:

And if you want to see more pictures, that don't have nails in them, checkout my instagram account!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.