life experience

Hi all. Long time no sign. Sorry about that. 

This entry appeared back in 2015 on my first ever blog that i deleted. 

It's a very short entry, and most of the story is told through a drawing. We all know that a picture speaks a thousand words. 

This is a true story. It was quite normal back then for this to happen. It didn't happen i recent times anymore.  This is because I started using a timer to avoid this from happening. 

Whenever I want to toast some bread I have to be really careful. Or else my bread will turn to ashes.

I don't own a toaster and so I have to toast my bread in the oven. My oven works with gas and real fire, but the machine itself is so old it's not even funny.

At some point after that, we changed the cooking stove. But it still works with gas and fire, and I still managed to burn the bread meant to be toast. 

I also often forget I'm making toast, so I have to set up an alarm for when I think the toast might be done. When using this method, my toast is under-done. Basically, this means the bread is not golden-brown the way you see in commercials and stuff.

This was a rather upsetting event at the time. I even manage to burn water, if you know what i mean. 

Can anyone else relate to this?

My eyes are supposed to be green. [in case you were wondering]. Because that's my real eye color. 

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello all!

It's been a while since i posted. Well, i do blog for fun, not really for money, and I'm a freelancer, so this makes sense. 

We all know what happened in 2020. the lockdown wasn't easy and hit Romania in mid-March.
I don't think I need to explain what the lockdown means - we all know at this point. The only open places were supermarkets, drugstores, hospitals, along with some restaurants that do deliveries, such as pizza places. 

Walking the dog, taking a short stroll around our buildings, especially those with dogs, and helping the elderly were the main activities that we were allowed to partake in. It goes without saying that buying groceries, meds, or doctor appointments were also allowed but had to be restricted to the minimum. Going to work, for 'essential workers' was also allowed, of course. 

The times were hard on everyone. How hard was it for me? read here -link to post 1 of struggles. 

We also had to write a document stating where we went and why. This was a nightmare in itself. Why couldn't we just send a text or something to some call center or I don't know, somehow make things easy like in South Korea? Those without the paper risked heavy fines. 

When restrictions lifted, things became more bearable. clothes stores opened later than restaurants and cafes, of course. Even these places opened only if they gave food/drinks as a takeaway. 

the streets were eerie and empty the first time we ventured further away from home for a coffee:

The city looked beautiful, despite it being deserted. It looks as if the zombie apocalypse just hit or ended. The messed-up sidewalk is a sight to behold. Welcome to Bucharest, baby!

These two images are the 'entrance' so to speak, of the Old Town. Everyone gathers here during the weekend, but not only. When there's no pandemic or restrictions, of course. 

Of course, not everyone dared to go out just yet. I like the image above the most. It is also in the BEST area in the country to own property (aka an apartment). Some 5 years ago it used to look different. The blue building on the left didn't even exist.

This is another area of the city, across the street from the University of Bucharest. There are maybe 4 statues there? of various important historical people. 

These 2 images are from the Old Town. It'd obviously the same street from 2 different points.

The coffee we got was from Tedd's. I remember it as being just meh, but after 2 months of confinement, it felt like some sort of luxury. 

That's not the only place where we could find something to drink. Somewhere close to the University of Bucharest, there's a small bar called Rainbow. It serves cocktails and coffees, and not only. Most of the stuff they serve is take-away. 

I believe this is the first time we found it and we had to order something. A frappe, a fresh fruit juice, and a mojito, i believe. Drinking in public is allowed in Romania. You could get in trouble if you're getting very drunk/wasted. Besides, it's difficult to tell what the transparent drink is - perhaps some tonic water with lemon/lime, ice, and some mint for kicks, haha. 

The fresh juice is of catina (Seaberry?). It's apparently rich in Vitamin C and this helps fight this virus that messed up our lives. It' one of the best fresh juices I tasted, and it's amazing on a hot summer day. 

We couldn't sit at any table, just on benches or wherever else we could. 

I remember ordering some food from this fancier restaurant, Van Gogh. Here are some pics of the place:

Cases started increasing as soon as people were allowed to go places and do things, due to the rules relaxing further. 

One of the first things we purchased after the lockdown, was a VERY cute backpack. It's cute in my opinion, at least.

In July, we were allowed to sit at terraces with appropriate distancing. We had a raspberry gin tonic i believe and a very traditional Romanian dish.

The dish is polenta mixed with cheese, bacon, and eggs. I forgot if it had anything else added. It was delicious, rather a large portion and I was barely able to finish it. Polenta is rather filling, to begin with. 

Over the winter, most restaurants were again closed for the most part, as well as the theatres. There were no events taking place either. Especially not the Christmas market. We thought we might have it at first, but then it was confirmed they canceled it. 

As the weather improved this year, the authorities started allowing more and more businesses to restart their activities as well. Even events started to slowly take place. 

We finally went and sat at cafes this year, after getting vaccinated. We had both cocktails and coffee-based drinks, just like before.

I missed this matcha latte! I only found one other place that makes it, Handsome Monk. I did order it from there once, but it sucked. :( 

I just don't understand why they don't bring napkins anymore, now that they started having customers again. The napkins you can barely see in the picture above with our drinks? I had to ask for them! 

One of the most exciting things we did this year after everything opened, was going to see a movie! 

The movie we saw was The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. 

At the movies, there was just one more couple. This place didn't run any ads before the movie, and it was pitch black. Also quite cold inside. I started shaking and not out of fear. I was actually not really scared.

There are a few other things I want to share in the (hopefully near) future, such as the visit to the City Hall. OOOH!

The entry will come maybe next week or in 2 weeks. 

until next time, bye~~~

©Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. 

Hello everyone. 

This is a rather sad entry. I'm not in a very good mental state right now. 

I think I started battling depression a few years back. I haven't been to any therapists until this year. I will soon start some treatment for this. I just need to go wait until my next appointment in about 3 weeks. 

I also suffer from anxiety and I'm pretty sure I have some BPD traits as well. Click here if you don't know anything about BPD. In any case, from a social point of view and as far as employment goes, it's not a very good thing to have a paper saying you have BPD or any other issues that could mean you're not emotionally or mentally stable. ok, moving on now. 

Almost everyone struggles. And everyone who struggles makes an effort to hide it. of course, depending on the severity of the problem, some hide it better than others. Some simply can't hide it. Some lose battles with themselves.

For me, things went really bad in 2020, when the shit hit the fan with the virus and we were all confined in our homes, and businesses closed. When the martial law was implemented illegally, about a week in - I forgot how long it's been, maybe 2 weeks? a month? i considered jumping out the window. 

i was very close to doing it. Living on the 5th floor, with granite tiles on the sidewalk downstairs. But also some metal things for shade for the shop space on the ground floor. I'm not sure what survival chanced i'd have. i probably would have been stuck in a wheelchair if I did survive. 

Luckily for me, anna was here and I could call her and talk to her ... and she managed to at least calm me down. I'm crying again, now thinking of that evening. I'm truly blessed with her. 

i don't want to hear "oh, but others...." fuck others! I'm not others, and others don't think of me either. I'm not others- I'm ME! I'm tired of these hurtful comparisons!

when you compare a child to other children, you ARE ONLY HURTING your own child and boosting the ego of the other kid. 

when you tell your partner "oh, but the spouse of so-and-so...." you are HURTING AND INSULTING YOUR partner! you make them feel miserable! and they wonder why are you with them if you think the other person is better. and the thing is, you can't even know the real face of the other person who you think is better. 

Sorry, I went off a tangent here. but people do that when they try to explain their feelings. i suppose. it makes it easier for them. 

so, around Christmas, I started feeling a bit better, and it lasted for a while. Though PMSing started being too much like a rollercoaster. anna couldn't take my crap anymore and insisted I seek professional help. and so I did, and about a week or so ago I started taking Xanax, as the therapist prescribed. And my anxiety went down, which is great because it was almost crippling me. 

the downside of taking Xanax was that while I was no longer anxious, but i started feeling the depression more. and it was maybe more intense? blank mind, foggy brain... Actually, the fog was almost there, all white and fluffy, around not only my head but my torso as well. i could almost see it with my eyes. 

And then, this site i was playing, suddenly bans me for having multiple accounts! when they already knew there's 2 of us playing there, on 2 different accounts! they knew this for almost 11 years! it's just unbelievable! we apparently broke a rule about exchanging too many items... 

I didn't even know there's such a rule.... well, ok, there is, we broke it indeed. but this is not the point. the point is that the ban-hammer was triggered at a bad time when i was feeling very low and foggy, and that site felt safe in the morning when i was drinking my coffee.  

I've been talking to an admin, but i don't put my hopes too high for getting my account back. Now, i don't care so much anymore. I'll need another morning habit. or just use this as a reason to procrastinate less. 

To be continued...

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello all! 

I don't know what to make this entry. I might change the title in the future if I can find a better title. 

This blog entry is probably a boring one for most of you. Unless you like to see cups and plates made of porcelain. 

Here I want to somehow list my china collection. There's a  second part coming related to my collection of plates/cups made by ARPO Porcelain, a now-defunct Romanian company that was making dinnerware, decors, and other stuff out of porcelain.

I can make a 3rd entry about the plates and cups I have only 1 of. 

All these entries are designed more for me, I suppose unless you're curious and like porcelain collections as well. 

And it just occurred to me that I have some pairs of glass items as well. I'll include them here, as somehow one pair started everything. 

These plates are the oldest in the collection. 

They are modern, as the colors can tell. I'm not familiar with the brand and I don't know what else to say about them. They were given to us at some point. 

These cups followed at some point. I like these cups because they can go in the microwave oven, if I need a bit of water warmed up quickly. 

They came with a 3rd cup that has the same shape and size as these ones, but a different design and color scheme. 

These plates are rounded-squares if that makes sense. I believe they're from MIL. They might also have been received before the cups above, but who can remember anymore? 

These plates are larger. They're best used for putting a cake on, the Salad à la Russe, pancakes, or anything that you cook more of and can be stacked.

Currently, one of the plates serves as a tray on the kitchen table, for various smaller items to try and keep some order.  

These glasses were supposed to be 3 actually. One broke before I got them. I found them on the local Freecycle group. Here, people give away stuff they don't need or want anymore, and those who need or want them can just take them. 

These glasses are the ones that made me decide to have a collection of matching cups and plates since I already had a few matching stuff. 

These are my matching ARPO plates. When I took the pics, I only had 2 of them. Last week I received some food on a 3rd identical plate, which I will be keeping. Surely MIL won't mind. 

They are just so pretty in real life, these plates. 

These mugs are not identical. And I only just noticed when ii took the picture. My brain didn't realize this before. 

The thing is, these mugs were found in a box, packed together. They were an unwanted gift. I found it at a FreeShop event at the end of 2019 or the beginning of 2020 before the nonsense started. You know what nonsense I'm talking about ;) 

At this event, people brought whatever they didn't need, like, use, and took home whatever else they liked, from the others who came. so, it was like an item exchange, though the focus was clothes. 

These are big mugs: 450 ml. I can serve soup in them if I want to, and I even did a few times. 

These cups are from H&M HOME. I first saw them either in the summer of towards the end of 2019, but they disappeared quickly. I hoped they'd go on sale, as I didn't want to pay full price for them. Go figure. 

They returned only after the stores reopened after the quarantine. They were bought at separate times though. I REALLY REALLY wanted 2 and not just 1. I'm using them ALL the time. 

These cups cannot go in the microwave oven, but I think they can go in the dishwasher. We don't have one, so I'm not 100% sure. 

I bought these cups AFTER I saw the ones from H&M were gone. They're not matching 100%, but they have the same shape and size and were bought at the same time. 

Fun fact, they're from the same store as the Christmas ones. I only realized this recently, as I saw the red ones in that store. i entered the store out of curiosity, to look for something else which I didn't find. I can safely put these in the microwave oven as well. 

These are salt and pepper shakers. They were a bit dirty, but I o make sure to clean them regularly. We bought these last year I think.

These plates are not porcelain, but glass or opal. You could get these by buying 2 bottles of Coca-Cola, of 2L, from the participating supermarkets. Not much to say here. I used these in the microwave oven. 

They read something like "I like your cooking, but I prefer your loving" or something. 

I can imagine what you must be thinking: "These are not the same." No, they're not. Fiance bought the bowl and then i saw the tile in a thrift store. It serves as a coaster. 

I'm using the coaster ALL the time as it sits by my computer. The colors are more vibrant in real life. 

These are 2 glasses that came with a bottle of gin. And i have no more to say about them. They're the latest addition to the collection. 

I'm pretty impressed with how many paired items i have for the kitchen. 

This is it for now. See you in the next one!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello all!

But some of us have online jobs or run our own businesses. This means that we have little time for relaxation. 

The thing is that finding some time to unwind is significant for our well being. Also spending time with our loved ones. 

I talked a bit about my off-line work experience some 3 years ago. I realized then that time off is important as time is all we got. or not, at times.

So, today i completed the challenge: no blogging, no working. Instead we took a pretty long walk to downtown and back. We really needed the fresh air (through the masks it wasn't as fresh as we hoped, sadly). 

Editing this section on jan. 30, '22.

I want to say that flowers are relaxing, and help others take things easy. Spring flowers have this effect on me.

We also stopped by the grocery store to buy ingredients for pizza. Tonight was delightful: anna's pizza, cuddles, and Christmas lights dancing on the wall. 

See you tomorrow!

(c) Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hi All!

Today's challenge was to request for our blogs to be transferred to HTTPS instead of HTTP. 

Some of you may know that my blog didn't have a secure connection in the past. But the staff worked hard and now all the sites can be accessed through the HTTPS protocol. 

This is pretty awesome, if you ask me, since we all want some sort of security. Especially after everything that happened this year. 

We find security in different ways. Some want security when it comes to a job. Others, want to feel secure in their relationships. For others, having a place they can call home or their own, is the definition of security.

Security makes us feel safe, protected. The first time we ever felt this was in our mothers' wombs, then in her arms, at her chest. Of course, there are plenty of people who didn't have the luxury of having a mother, a father, or even parents. 

I don't know how that must feel, and i can't really speak for them. I do know, they did feel pretty safe while inside their mothers' bellies as well. 

Some people, even in adulthood, feel better under heavy blankets, or when they're being hugged tightly. This is because towards the end of the pregnancy, there barely is any space inside the womb. Plus, the mother also wears clothes, gets covered with blankets as well. 

All these, weigh down on the belly and the baby inside. 

What makes me feel safe? Or where do i find security?

These are pretty hard questions to ask. I do know that having Anna in my life DOES make me feel safe.

She's the only one i can count on. i find her stable. this feels safe and secure. And nice.

Or when i go to sleep, i feel safer when the air is warm, the blanket heavy, or there is something heavy on me. I also need quietness. 

Some old things like abandoned places for instance, also give me a sense of security in a weird way. I guess, those buildings, being so old, but still standing, make me think that maybe life is easier than i make it be. 

It's somehow hopeful. Or maybe the quietness surrounding such a place makes me feel safe. I'm not 100% sure.

It's true that noise, constant and loud, makes me feel very unsafe and stressed. 

Overall warmth, but not heat, is something that also gives safety-related feelings. 

Keeping things to myself is a safety measure. I feel intruded upon and not safe at all when i'm being asked too many questions. or when people seem to know things about me. 

Yet, here i am, sharing part of my life with strangers online. How ironic, isn't it? 

I don't really know what i can say related to this. 

I'd like to hear from you and find out what makes YOU feel safer and more secure. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

This entry is probably one of the least exciting ones. This is not a #firstworldproblem, because I'm not complaining. I want to actually show my gratitude for having this device for many things have happened while i had this iPhone 4.

I want to "celebrate" the life of this phone, and share some pleasant memories I made while having and using it.  

One of the things that this phone did the most, was to snap pictures and to keep me connected to Anna through messages and the pics we send back and forth. 

How do i know this phone won't function for long? It lags every time i try to open any app. I can't update its OS - no big surprise there. I also can't update the apps i already have. And i only have Instagram to which I can't upload anymore either. 

The point of this post is to remember some of the good stuff that happened while i used this iPhone 4. Or to share some of the pictures that i took and i liked or still like the most. 

This picture is my favorite. Yes, I took this picture. It is also one of the first pictures i took with this phone. Back in 2015. This is the 2nd picture i ever posted on instagram. You can see and like it here. I feel the light in this picture is just right, the colors are fine, pretty close to reality. 

To snap this picture, i put my hands through the bars of the fence of the yard the cat was in. I like how the cat was not paying any attention to me. To me this picture looks poetic in a way. Inspiring to write some fiction or something (else than a blog post).  

At the time, I didn't care about likes and stuff. I still don't. But it does feel nice to receive likes on the pics I post. ;p 

Chimney cake from the Christmas market of 2015. It was a really nice cake and the first one I had. Originally it was big. at least double the size seen in this picture. They're about 30 cm (12 inches?) long when made for the Christmas market. 

They're freshly made on the spot, and extremely popular. They can be covered in a variety of stuff: coconut flakes, sugar, nuts, and other things. This was (grounded) nuts i believe. I think we got 2 of them, i forgot. But the next years when we went to the Christmas market, we did buy 2 each time. 

That plate was a disaster for this picture: it' plastic. I has no pretty plate, sadly. You can view this pic on Instagram as well.

Looking at the date this picture was taken, is the same evening as the kurtos kalacs (chimney cake) above. It means this image was taken about an hour or so before the other. 

The evening was most likely cold since it was December 19. Only the closest woman in the picture and the few bare trees give away the temperature or time of the year. Otherwise the green grass could indicate summer. 

Anna took this picture. If you look closely, there was some fog out in the distance. There was such an eerie sensation. I still get it when i look at this picture. I still really like this image and I don't think I shared it before. 

This is actually a parking lot now, but back then, they just finished creating it. These days, on the right, there are many bars/cafes/restaurant places and the parking lot is full of cars.

On Instagram I shared it a few days later. What's interesting is that I have here, a picture of the same parking lot, from almost a year later. 

Picture of a stunning rose from May 15, 2016.

Of course, there are many other pictures I took and didn't share yet. Well, some will never be shared.

This rose looks gigantic. But it's probably just the angle. 

Seeing this pic of the rose, i can almost feel its sweet scent, and i can almost feel the early summer temperature around me. You could say the feeling is burned in my brain and on my skin. 

Obviously, without this phone, i couldn't take all these pictures. 

These tulips were very pretty in real life back in April of 2016. Either the angle or the light didn't make them justice. Too bad. I remember I took more pictures of these tulips. This is the one i like the most. 

I remember they brought me a big smile seeing them. They looked very colorful, cheerful, and simply beautiful. I was smiling like an idiot and being as happy as child seeing them. 

It's very refreshing to see pretty flowers in spring after the heavy and cold winter. They give hope for a better year and future. 

I shared all these pictures on the tumblr account where I upload all the pictures for this blog as well as the pics for my other site, Being Obscure. Usually, the pics with credits on them are hidden from the public on the Tumblr account. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello! Don't take this post that seriously. Really don't. 

I am well aware I posted a few entries talking against consumerism: here - here - here

I basically was wrong in that post, at least to some extent, because we need to consume things in order to survive. 

I am against buying more than we need, I am against always buying the latest releases of anything, and against buying things simply because so-and-so promotes the item. 

Minimalism is the other extreme. There is a whole niche on youtube related to minimalism. 

I started writing this entry on the 18th day of the martial law instated in Romania. At this point, it is unclear when this "protectorate" will end. The other day they said after mid-May. we'll see.

I'm posting this a week before the martial law is supposed to ease.

The thing is, we're not allowed to go out without a pass - we can write it ourselves. who we are, where we go, why, carry the ID, and heaven forbid the paper is wrong. All the stores and malls are closed. Supermarkets, drugstores, emergency dentists, hospitals are the only operating "businesses." And also places like home renovation and pet stores. Other businesses that still operate, the post office, taxis, public transportation, delivery companies. If you need anything else, like clothes, craft supplies, you have to order online. if you have $$. 

Can you see how being a hoarder is now useful? Can you see how being a minimalist is not/was not a good idea? 

Living in a city is also not a good idea. But living in the countryside, in Romania, usually means no running water. See the image below, for a better understanding - seen first in this entry.

In any case, in the countryside, we'd be able to go out of the house, in the yard to attend to the animals, to the food we grow, to the toilet (as in most cases it's separated from the main house where we'd be living). 

As I was saying, as a minimalist, you're probably missing many things you wish you had. As a hoarder, you're probably feeling pretty secure you're not missing anything you might need. 

As a hoarder, you might have:

• Enough food to last you at least a month
• Enough cleaning supplies to last you through the lockdown
• An excuse to use them all up, clean the space and become more of a minimalist
• Various games to keep you busy and entertained
• A variety of tools that you can use to learn a new skill or make the things you wanted but didn't have the time.

As a minimalist, you might have:

• A lot of empty space in the house
• Not enough food
• Not enough supplies
• Just computer or smartphone games
• No tools for a new hobby
• A hard time finding in the supermarket what you need
• An excuse to go buy some things that occupy space, but are needed during an emergency situation

This "pandemic" taught me that: 

• Minimalism is not for me
• Hoarding is not that bad - just make sure not to go out of control
• You can be more sustainable as a hoarder as you have more items in the house to reuse and repurpose, and you dispose of fewer things, overall. 

Now, these are just some observations. I'm not attacking or praising any lifestyle or choices. 

You might hoard lots of plates and cups, but may have just 4 pairs of shoes and 5 pairs of jeans. 

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved. 

Is it Halloween? No, it's the lent before Pascha (or Easter, depending on who you're asking), and pumpkin soup is a vegan dish. We're supposed to eat vegan dishes during lent. 

It's also one of the easiest dishes I came across! And honestly, i have no idea why I waited for so long to make it! No, I do know why: I thought it's sweet, since I associate pumpkin with the pie. I was wrong, or at least this soup didn't turn out sweet. 

INGREDIENTS:

• pumpkin
• carrots
• salt
• powder black pepper
• water (of course)
• the tool to mash potatoes (in this case, pumpkin)

METHOD:

You need to peel the carrots and dice them. 

Throw the carrot cubes in a large enough pot, with water and salt. Place the pot on fire. Carrots cook slower than many other vegetables, hence it's ok to have them on the fire for a little longer.

Cut the pumpkin in smaller pieces, and remove the skin. I used my knife for this part. You might want to cut the pieces even smaller, to help with the cooking time.

Throw your smaller pumpkin pieces into the pot as well. Hopefully you can tell the pumpkin pieces in the pot are smaller than on the cutting board.

Turn the heat up, and make the whole think boil for some 20 minutes. You might want to adjust the time, depending on the quantity. You have to make sure the pumpkin is cooked. It has to be soft when you poke it with a fork.

Now you want to take the tool you use for mashing potatoes, and use it to mash the boiled carrots and pumpkin. 

When you're done, you might want to add more salt, and some pepper. You can serve hot or cold.

Bon appetit!

© Charly Cross 2013 - present. All rights reserved.

Hello all!

This is a short entry, and I want to talk about a cultural shock I had last year, regarding the use of the word "Hallelujah!"

In English, you'd say "Hallelujah!" when something good happened, or when something you hoped for turned out the way you wanted. 

You'd sometimes say "Hallelujah!" to perhaps mean 'Finally!"

In Romanian, though, "Hallelujah!" is used to mean "What's done is done."

It is usually said in bad situations - when you lose or break something, especially something expensive or that you cared about, for instance. 

So, last year, I shook the sheet on the window. Below, at the ground floor there is a commercial space and they have some sort of shades, made of metal, that stand out and away from the building, in a horizontal position. 

If things fall there, they can't be easily retrieved. 

My sweatpants were wrapped in the sheet, and I grabbed everything. 

Before I could do anything, my pants fell from inside the sheet and onto the shade-thing of the commercial space. 

A told their mother, and her reply was "Hallelujah!" 

The shock! the horror! I was wondering, why is she so happy about my misfortune?!? 

It appears she wasn't: she was just telling me to forget about my pants.