customs

Praying - things we should know -

Publié le 24 Septembre 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #beliefs, #customs, #life experience, #love, #praying, #religion, #traditions

Everyone makes mistakes, even me with my blog, and the things I post here. You can read about one such mistake here, if you're curious.

It's not my place to judge people, but I think that if we want G-D to give us something, we must pray the right way, and to try avoid making some mistakes.

Several years ago I decided I should be more spiritual, to pray more, be kinder, less negative. I took a notebook and wrote in it some guidelines for "how to pray." Surely I found this guide somewhere on the internet, but for the love of what's good, I can't remember.

This entry is an adaptation of that info - simply because I didn't agree with everything in there, and I also think some other stuff should be added.

Matthew 6:7-8 New International Version (NIV)
⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.
⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Prayer is a highly personal experience

For me this is true, as you could probably tell from this blog entry. Everyone whose prayers have been answered will probably tell you the same thing. This is not something that can be explained.

What I can say is that the prayer is a tool helping us to attune and communicate with G-D - or whatever other Higher Being or Creator you believe in.

not my picture

Don't pray just in time of need

I find this to be wrong, though it can be effective if you pour all your soul into it. I think that if you want to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life, trying to pray on a more regular basis is [or works] better.

You can compare this to a person whose teeth look perfect - surely they visit their dentist quite often, brushes and flosses their teeth twice each day.

Be thankful while praying

Forgetting to thank G-D for everything positive in our lives is something many are guilty of. Including those that pray on a regular basis.

What can you be thankful for? The clothes on your body, the house you live in, the neighborhood you live in [if you like it there and feel safe], the food on your table, your job [especially if the income is acceptable], for having people that care about you in your life, for being able to have pets [if you have them], and so on.

These were just examples and are the things I'm generally thankful for while praying. Every little thing does matter and you should be thankful for, including your health, looks [if you consider yourself pretty, or you particularly like something about yourself like your eyes or hair], talents [like cooking, baking, drawing, fashion style, applying make-up].

Some of these attributes sound vain to be thankful for, but I can guarantee there is at least one person out there that wishes they had what you have - material or not. You can walk, talk, see, read, sing? Be thankful for all of those since there are folks that can't perform these actions.

What to pray for

You can pray for everything or anything, including for world peace. For better and higher chances of the prayer to be answered, just ask for small things and one thing at a time.

For instance, you lost your job [or were forced to quit?] when praying, thank your Divinity for all the jobs you had in the past and ask Them to help you find another suitable one quickly.

We can even ask for help in becoming mentally stronger, better people [less negative, less critical of others], in finding a new hobby, a new partner, in overcoming problems that seem very complicated, or even forgiveness.

We can pray for forgiveness for ourselves or for others. Maybe you lied to someone and now you feel bad, but still don't have the courage to confess to them? Ask G-D for forgiveness, but try not to lie anymore in the future. If someone did something hurtful towards you, you probably can't let go of those negative emotions so easily. Ask the Divine to help you with that, and ask the Divine to forgive that person's mistakes. [I did this and it felt liberating.]

not my quote not my picture

Acknowledge you're wrong or sinful

This segment goes against Christian teachings of confessing and stuff. We all do things we're very ashamed of later on [what? it's just me? hmmm]. Sometimes those actions feel too heavy, and we're too embarrassed to confess them to a priest [if that's part of your belief system].

Telling G-D during a prayer about those things can be liberating. Not many people know what you did, but G-D DOES know. The Divinity knows everything about you. Admitting that doing this or that was wrong and asking for forgiveness can help. [It did help me, I felt less tormented].

When and where to pray

You can pray at any time, in any place. It is however better to find a quiet time and place to do so. For instance, you could pray while showering or taking a bath, right before falling asleep, when everyone else is asleep or away.

The most important thing to try and remember is that you should not be disturbed. You should silent your phone too, if you receive too many texts, calls and notifications. You don't have to be in a church [or similar type of building] to pray. You don't even need a picture of your Deity around you.

Faith is crucial

No mater who you pray to or what for, you must be certain 100% that They hear you and that They will answer. It's not enough to say "Oh, my god's name is this, and they DO exist... blahblahblah." No! You must feel with every cell of your body that that Creator exists and that They love you and will send you what you ask for.

When you start communicating with Them, you have to be aware of Their presence in and around you: you wouldn't be here without Them, and you wouldn't have everything you own without Them.

May God look over From His Holy Dwelling and may he strike all those who hate His People with a wink of an eye

Behold here is the Lord rising and standing on a plumb-line Giving them a cup of poison but not wine
Pronunciation:
Yash'kef Elohim mima'on kod'sho veyach kol sonei amo keheref ayin
Hineh Hashem kam venitzav al anach yash'kem lechos ra'al aval lo yayin

I have no words to express how much I like this song, and how well it helps me get into a praying state of mind. It also helps me be more aware of G-D and His presence in my life.

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5 Romanian etiquette rules

Publié le 2 Avril 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #bucharest, #customs, #friends, #people, #romanian tradition, #tips, #traditions

In my previous post I mentioned I would make an entry related to etiquette in Romania. So, here it is! These are stuff I either saw myself or was told.

1. Shoes - on or off?

these are my shoes. my picture.

In Romania, you take your shoes off when entering your own home, or the home of those close to you - friends and family, unless told otherwise. It helps with keeping the house clean(er).

You keep your shoes on when you go visit people you're not very close to - say, if you meet the parents of your partner for the first time. Some of these people you don't know very well, might ask you to take your shoes off when entering their home.

why should I take my shoes off? If it rained, chances are your shoes are dirty and your host doesn't want their floors or carpets to get dirty, especially if the house looks as clean as a 5 star hotel room.

2. Bring something when you visit someone

In the past, when paying a visit, it was a sign of good manners not to go empty handed. People were usually bringing something symbolic, like flowers, something sweet, or something to drink. The "something sweet" was something home made, but bought stuff were also OK. A casserole of home cooked food also works well - remember this is something symbolic. If the younger generations do this these days, it must be because they grew up seeing their parents do it.

While this habit might seem weird for some, consider that Romania used to be a communist country and during the regime the living conditions were harsh. For some people it would have been a financial burden to receive and entertain guests, so the guests were considerate towards this effort by bringing something to the "party."

3. Greet your neighbors when meeting them

This applies for when meeting them in the common areas of the apartment building, as many Romanians still live in apartment buildings. If you happen to meet any of your neighbors, they will say "hello" and the polite thing to do is to reply. Easy, right?

When visiting friends, you might encounter their neighbors and they might say "hello" even if they don't know you. It costs nothing to reply back with a "hello." Greeting random people they see waiting around their building is not that weird since many Romanians are renting out their apartments. Your friend's neighbors might think you're renting a place there and you're new.

4. Greet your cashier

All cashiers I went to, would say "hello" to all their customers, me included. They would also say "bye bye" after giving them their change and receipt. The client is supposed to answer to both greetings. This gesture sure doesn't cost nor time nor money. I generally say "thanks" before leaving. I sometimes add "have a nice day" as well.

5. Speaking of the change... Don't expect it in full

this is my picture

Let' assume you're supposed to receive 7.37 ... well, let's just say you'll receive 7.35 instead, and demanding the extra 0.02 is nowadays considered a bit weird, if not quite rude. The cases when you'll receive your full change is rare (I only saw it happening at one supermarket- Kaufland) The coins of the 0.01 value (1 ban) are generally disregarded by most people. I don't think the 0.05 coins (5 bani) are too popular either.

Don't ask me how much money I lost this way. However, you'll be surprised to learn or see just how many Romanians simply leave all the coins in their change to the cashier. They might take the 0.5 coin (50 bani) but not the 0.1 coins (10 bani).

disclaimer: i don't own the pictures in this post, they belong to their respective creators. i just found them online.

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Please think twice before adopting a pet!

Publié le 25 Mars 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #animals, #cat adoption, #cats, #customs, #life experience, #life lesson, #people, #pets, #romanian tradition, #tips, #traditions

This is not a sad story, but rather one that might make your blood boil to the point where you want to smash something. But let's start with the beginning.

Back in November I was coming back from buying some groceries. As I was opening the door to the apartment building where I live, this little [mostly black] cat dashed right in with me. I have no idea where it came from, but it sure wasn't shy. This little fellow simply followed me home. So I took her in... Lucky that my two 7 and 6 year old male cats didn't try to kill her, but she wasn't happy with their presence either.

In the end, it all worked out just fine. see below:

Please think twice before adopting a pet!

This black furry thing wasn't shy nor scared of being touched or even handled. I quickly discovered this was a female cat. "Sweet! I never had a female cat before" I thought to myself. Of course, I talked to my friend about it, and we decided to keep her for a while, until we find a more suitable furrever home. The little cat went in heat in about 2 - 3 weeks after finding her. Her screaming sounded as if someone was torturing her to death. I waited till it passed, and then got her spayed. Quietness returned.

sleepy Milky <3

There are more reasons I need a new home for Milky - this is what I named her. Ironic given her color, right? but it's mostly because she likes to nurse on tshirts and pants of a certain texture. She also LOVES milk, so now the name seems more fitting.. The most important reason is that we will be leaving the country this year [hopefully soon], and there is no way to accommodate 3 cat at the new place [with some relatives until we find a job, and a place of our own].

So we posted a few "up for adoption ads" for Milky. A few nights ago I received this phone call from an older lady showing interest in Milky [the female cat]. We decided to meet the next day, with me bringing the cat to her place. Said and done.

I wrapped the cat in a blanket as there was no need for a cat carrier, and off we went to meet the lady. Luckily, she lived some 3 bus stops away, and this means easily reachable by foot as well. As soon as the lady saw the cat, she melted -"a good sign" I thought to myself.

She led us to her place - some 5 minutes by foot away from the bus stop, on a quiet street. When we entered, I was requested to take off my shoes. She had a good point for it: that place was SO clean and everything nicely arranged. [I will most likely address etiquette rules regarding wearing shoes indoors, in the next post. Let's just say it is not really polite to ask your quests to remove them.]

I told the lady everything she needed to know about the cat, I showed the cat where the litter was, and I was ready to leave. Right before leaving, the lady informed me it is customary to give a little something in exchange for the cat, so she had prepared some bananas and a box of chocolates. I took that, my blanket, and I returned home.

Later in the evening, she called however I couldn't pick up the phone. I called her back the next morning... The lady informed me she wanted to return the cat! Yes, you read that right - to return the cat after she promised she would take good care of her and all! She complained that Milky cried, that she went on the opened window, and that the cat wanted to suck her pajamas at night. Apparently she couldn't sleep because of all these! Other than the clothes sucking, all the cats go on open windows and cry in a new house!

1. if you're going to adopt a cat, expect her to cry at least the first night if she's sociable, or to hide if she's less sociable. dogs and puppies also cry the first night or two.

2. your new cat or dog is an ALIVE CREATURE! it is definitely NOT a toy, piece of clothing or some other thing you can just return the next day because you changed your mind!

3. having a pet is NEARLY identical to having a human baby! it requires your attention and it needs you!

Do expect your new companion to give you some headaches, but seriously, children are no different.

Milky literally LOVES knocking things over because they stand in her way... or in what he thinks is HER place.

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December adventures in Bucharest

Publié le 5 Février 2017 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #life experience, #love, #bucharest, #adventures, #customs, #romanian tradition

You probably wondered what I have been up to during my long absence.. Or not. If you do, I'll present you with the short version. It's not like I've been able to do much anyways.

First off, unlike most of the previous years, this time around we managed to get a Christmas tree. It was a small potted one because we felt bad to bring in a big one that was cut. plus it would have been troublesome and we have cats too.

Among the many things that happened, there were some fun moments too. For starters, we went to a well known Christmas Market before New Years. The Market opens every Christmas for about a week before Christmas, and this year we actually went there too early - the Market preparations were still underway and the place was sorta deserted. Except for the workers, of course, who were suffering the cold to make the place pleasant for the future visitors.

Because of this, we ended in a cafe that was selling mulled wine as well. That was some really good mulled wine. See a pic below. We could sit outside because despite the cold, it didn't snow. The place, like many others that left their terraces open through autumn and winter, had special heaters that also gave off a red light. It was really cozy as we also had blankets to cover with.

Next, you can see a snapshot video of another Christmas market .. again at closing time.

The second time we went we were more lucky, and we got to see most of the attractions we were there for. During this period farmers from all corners of the country bring local products, which include a big variety of cold meats and cheese. Along with that we also saw some of the popular Spanish Churros, fish and chips booths, as well as pretzels shops. Almost each seller also offered mulled wine of different flavors at a price for about $2 euro a cup.

The weather was terribly cold, below 0 C but that didn't stop us from enjoying the show for about 20 minutes (we didn't last for longer haha). In the meanwhile we decided to get some fish and chips and enjoy the hot food and mulled wine... along with a "freebie" cup that stays filled with Pepsi these days. "freebie" because the price for the mulled wine was double.

A stage was placed in the center of the Market where a traditional performance was taking place. This is a popular Romanian celebration that happens every New Years Eve. Called ''capra'' or ''ursul'', which literally means ''the goat'' and ''the bear," respectively. The event features people dressed in bear and goat outfits dancing around and putting up a show. We even saw a ''baby bear'' this year! The "baby bear" was just a kid dressed in a bear costume, but he was really adorable! See below a bit of footage from the Bear Dance performance:

People don't only put on the outfits for this festival, but also walk around the street beating the drums and singing for days before the New Year. A few groups came downstairs on our street and almost stopped the traffic while they were performing haha.

What we really went there for wasn't available - some Hungarian treats called Kurtos Kalacs which are amazing!! These sweet rolls are topped with all sort of nuts, sugar, cinnamon, and even chocolate. Last year we waited in a huge line just to get 2 of these, but this year none of the sellers were there. Such a pity! :(

After we finally had enough of the cold weather we headed over to Second Cup - a Canadian coffee chain for some coffee. We got there about 20 minutes before they closed so I guess that was totally lucky.

mulled wine and disappointing coffees

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Waking Up Early IS Possible!

Publié le 18 Février 2016 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #advice, #customs, #life experience, #life lesson, #tips, #tricks

What's up guys?

This entry is not motivational, or at least that's not my current intention. What I want to talk about is what I noticed that changed since I started waking up early.

βΑ¢ΚŠτØℜϒ - that should read backstory, in case you can't see the characters-

I work as a freelance writer for 5 and a half years now. Like most writers and freelancers I discovered that I'm more inspired to write at night - not to mention that my days were also filled with other activities and chores.

This meant I would end up going to bed really and I mean REALLY late. Think of 1 am which slowly and steady reached 3 and 4 am, sometimes even 6 or 7 am, just to finish a task.

I need to sleep at least 8 hours every night, so I would wake up not earlier than 10 am. During 2015 I would wake up at 1 pm or even 2 pm at times, even if I was asleep at 4 am. This wasn't good for me ... mentally.

tip: ƒ¡ηÐ ¡ηšΡ¡ℜα†¡Øη! - that reads "find inspiration!"

I also was [and still am] watching the videos posted by Grace about her daily life in Japan. I watched them and I started feeling ashamed of myself.

I'm not saying she leads a perfect life, but in my opinion hers seems more put together than mine. She's also a blogger and a freelancer, so I kinda started looking up to her.

I guess her videos started to inspire and motivate me [if just a little bit] to want to be more proactive in taking control of my life. But the first step was to control my sleeping pattern.

I needed a change. And the change came.

The Change - that reads "the change"

I decided I should search for a 9-to-5 job to make sure I earn more money - I really want to buy a house [=house around here means apartment, and translated to a place that I could call "my own"].

This type of job means I would have to wake up earlier than what I was used to in the past few years. MUCH EARLIER. Of course, that is easier said than done. And it also meant I would have to go to bed earlier as well.

I forgot how I started doing it, but I did. I most likely started to set the alarm to ring throughout the morning and to make an effort to get up from the bed each time - I would go use the toilet or drink some water. It did took a lot of will power, but it had to be done. But then I would go back to sleep and repeat till 1 or 2 in the afternoon, every 2 hours.

TIP: If you want to make sure you get up at a certain hour, place the alarm across the room: you'll be forced to get up from the bed to stop it.

While I did manage to start adjusting to being waken up throughout the morning, I still wouldn't manage to be in bed earlier.

However, the "secret" was to remain awake at an earlier hour: say, 9 or 10 am. In the evening, the body would be too tired to be able to still stay awake till wee hours. I managed to do that and it started working. My sleeping pattern started to slowly improve.

In the end I did find a job and I was forced to wake up at 6 am. It was still way early for me. That job wasn't meant to be, but I did learn some stuff, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Plus I got paid too, so I can't complain too much - plus I'm trying to be positive here ;) .

†Η€ ρℜ€š€η† - that reads "the present"

Currently I wake up at 8 am, though the alarm is set for 7:51 am, no exceptions allowed. This means that even on Saturdays and Sundays I continue waking up at the same hour. I go to bed at midnight sharp and I get enough sleep.

Of course, I was forced to go to bed later than midnight, however I still insisted in waking up at 8. I only lingered in bed till 9 for two days [one of them being today] and I'm not happy about it.

I do consider that sometimes is OK to wake up a bit later, especially if there is nothing waiting to be done on the spot. I just need to make sure this doesn't slowly revert to my old habits.

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March 1st, or the Mărțișor

Publié le 28 Février 2015 par Charly Cross

Catégories : #business, #customs, #martisor, #shopping, #traditions

Hello world~~~

This country is full of traditions. One of them is related to March 1st. It is called Mărțișor and the word itself has 3 language specific letters and sounds that simply drive me crazy, hopefully you can see them as well. But this is a story for another entry.

There are a lot of interesting things to know about this celebration, but it is easier to link you to the page with more information on it, Wikipedia. Don't worry, this time you can believe what's being said, hehe.

What you need to know is that women or girls are the ones receiving and wearing this trinket. It can be gifted by men or women. The age of the receiver or of the one giving doesn't really matter though.

This is what the Mărțișor usually looks like in real life. As you can see, the Mărțișor is a rather small trinket tied with a red and white string. Clearly, people around here make bigger objects too, like brooches, bracelets, or necklaces.

This celebration, like many others, offers a VERY good excuse for many businesses to sell more. The most popular type of merchandise to sell for Mărțișor is jewelry of any kind. These trinkets are sold almost anywhere and almost anyone can sell them.

Handmade trinkets should be the norm when offering them, but locals are not very opened to the idea of buying unique items for which a person spend a few hours working. They rather buy something made by some machine. As a side note, the majority of the locals look down upon handmade items.

What would you like to receive for Mărțișor?

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